I don't know, I was enjoying the beginning but it started getting a little too...um, detailed? into so many different points of view that my attention started wandering.

God, I understand this is an old story but this style of writing is horrendous. It's like I'm reading an anthology series that is a closely knitted group of events that tells a partial story. It's infuriating to read and hard on the eyes. I don't mind stupidly long paragraphs in a book, but online when they take up my entire monitor? It gives me a headache just looking at it.

Fvxk vio vangdat koa satrn

went shit don't read weak harry

Oh god, I want to read this story, but developed a headache partway through the first chapter. I glanced at the second chapter and its more of the same, so I'm not sure if I'll be continuing.

The giant paragraphs were the worst, but the constantly jumping narrative shifts came in a close second. Every time the scene shifts, there should be a line break. Every time the perspective shifts to a different character, it should say who, what and where.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take another Tylenol to numb the pain reading this has caused me.

This is a good story but you change points of view WAY to much.

Excellent story!

Dirt Rider

Very good so far, too bad you did not have Harry get in touch with the Goblins so that he could get some of the past history so he could know how long he was out of things.

this story is really interesting! I gotta say even though your grammar isn't the best I'm still enjoying this immensely. It would be really funny if you had Dumbledore turn out to be the father or something, though really impractical. I will wait for the next chapter eagerly!

Mostly asking since I can’t properly read myself when the chapters are like this since it strains my eyes badly and also does give me headaches if I attempt to read for over a hour. So if that’s ever done could you maybe spare a second and send me a message? As the reformatting isn’t just for me of course but a lot of other readers who would find it more easier to follow and you might even gain more followers that way.

Would it be at all possible to ask your beta or get someone to properly split the first 3 chapters into readable paragraphs instead of giant blocks of words which makes it hard to read, which is saying something since i use a iPad and keep all text on the most smallest setting so for it to take up around 11 lines per paragraph makes it extremely huge and incredibly hard to follow unfortunately. However before deciding to move and not read the story it was a good thing I checked to see if any chapters were spilt into easily readable 1-4 line paragraphs at the very most which there just so happens to be on chapter 4 so I’m hoping you can properly fix up the first three chapters if that’s at all possible.

Nice

Keep going. You are writing one Hell of a story. Love it

Tx

Its like a synthony of events all coming together beautifully done.