hmm I'm super intrigued to see where this goes!

Ooo! I love this ! It's so much darker and more realistic than the original! When I'm done rereading the original I'll be back here to read this! The imagery is superb! You've improved so much!

I love this, please keep going!

I hope you are doing well and that this story will continue :) you are doing a wonderful job

This story is absolutely amazing. It's so well written and you write the characters so well. I hope you update soon

Hi hi...please tell me you will continue

Please tell me you want to continue this. Joey better start listening to Pegasus now bscus he has the upper hand

I'm going to re-read this and tell you my thoughts!

I love this chapter. It's so haunting and really sets the tone for the whole story.

The thing that gets me is that, these are KIDS being tortured. Even though they are all 16 they are kids to me. They've only lived on earth for 16 years and are not mature enough to deal with something like this..and Mokuba is even younger..either 10 or 11. Which makes him a baby to me.

I feel for all of them.

Hi I'm that annoying guest who's desperate for another chapter

Please please please please update soon! this story is too good

Omg this story is even better than the original! the storytelling, the writing ECERYTGING improved I'm so happy and excited you rewrote it because the first one was amazing and this one is different and seems even better. Please update soon!

I’ve been meaning to get this chapter out a lot sooner but due to a bad case of food poisoning this weekend (I accidentally ingested indigo dye, worst thing I ever experienced) I’ve been bent over my toilet instead of my keyboard.
From the very first sentence, I knew that this chapter was going to be one of surprises. Joey, angry and resentful, desperate for an opening, a chance to hurt Pegasus, anything, and ending up worse than he started, his power thwarted, feeling like a child that was indulged be amused by his adorable performance of defiance. Just for Pegasus to later flaunt the control he had over his heart, how he had better shape up and be grateful that he hadn’t had Serenity permanently blinded or killed by bullet to the forehead. And Pegasus’s terrible knowledge that for Serenity, Joey would kiss Seto Kaiba’s shoes, and he’s only waiting for the proud bull to yield to him.

Tea, already drowning in despair, knowing that her life, her precious, precious time, is being stolen away moment by moment and the most sickening part about it is that she should be happy about it. I think you perfectly captured this sentiment in your lines here “spring orientation, university applications, entrance exams, plans to travel abroad, the career as a dancer dying in the weakening muscles of her legs,” and “she had to hand herself to a man who had stolen everything.” I think this is the most agonizing example of adding insult to injury I’ve read. It’s a thief demanding you to be grateful that he stole from you, how he’s freed you from your silly dreams and aspirations. As if she should be grateful that he had ruined her life, that she should love him and adore him forever for the grand gift he had bestowed upon her.

And poor Yugi, knowing that every word he says can be used against him, that the most innocent of requests can be twisted into an ungrateful demand to a merciless warden, is probably the most pitiable character of all. I know in your last message you touched on how the millennium items essentially steal the identity of the user (which is probably the reason the Yamis of the users, Yugi, Marik, Bakura, always take on their image) but I really see it come into play in the exchange between Yugi and Pegasus. Yugi, who has always relied on his Yami to be strong for him, be brave, is alone for the first time ever facing down his worst demon. It almost seems like he’s appealing to Pegasus, that he can’t survive without his darkness, that he needs someone, anyone, even Pegasus, just to live. And the worst part is Pegasus know it and is simply waiting for the inevitable surrender.

The passage with Ryou and Pegasus nearly killed me. “Sometimes I get lonely for places I’ve never been,”I’m going to frame that quote on my wall now. It’s blatantly obvious why Pegasus is being so kind, so tender with Ryou. Ryou is already broken, has simply been waiting like a pile of broken china for someone, whether his Yami or Pegasus, to tenderly put back together. And there is nothing that Pegasus likes more than to be desperately needed by someone who can only be helped by him. The Ring is gone, and Ryou can’t help but feel guilty for beings so relieved that it’s gone and maybe even a little grateful. “They would smell like him. The entire room would smell like him if he kept coming so regularly.” I think this line is the most disturbing in the entire passage. To know someone so intimately that you can recognize their smell, that you're used to it. How can you hate something as familiar and comforting as the smell of your own room? And when do you stop being able to differentiate between your own smell and someone else’s?

But perhaps it’s Pegasus’s own madness which is the most disturbing, the certainty of his justice, of his perceived kindness. The contrast between the tender care he takes to wash Seto’s hair and the cuffs on him is beyond horrifying. The gentleness he exhibits when grooming him even as he drugs him once again is further proof that he thinks what he doing is right, that he’s being merciful. No doubt even if he had one of his captives maimed or killed he’d still think that he had their best interests at heart.

Once again Shadow, thank you for the heart-wrenching journey that is Echoes of Atonement. This new chapter made my weekend, even with food poisoning.

I can't believe we're only on chapter six. It feels like we've been going for so long and I just need to read this again and again. I will never understand how you can form such an immersive world using words I've known forever. How do you take them and put them in orders that leave such an impact?

You're amazing.

I love how each character is handling this differently, except Seto, who isn't handling it at all right now. All their thoughts and how they have to monitor them, how some of them don't bother, how some are starting to give in. The mind games are taking hold. How does a person accept giving up their life? At what point does accepting death sound easier?

Your ending. I knew it was coming and still was so shocked by it. It came across so strong, with such force, it took my breath away. What is Pegasus going to do with her? And a blind Serenity? I hadn't even considered the fact that she was still blind here. He didn't even have to do anything to make her helpless.

You're a master at your craft, Shadow. I cannot wait for future updates.

Everything I had to say got kinda blown away by how powerful that ending was D: But I'll go scene by scene as usual!

The opening scene with (I think) Joey was really effective, especially cause he wasn't named so i couldn't tell if it was Joey or Tristan being locked up XD 'What now' indeed D: Joey must be in the worst guilt trip of his life right now!

Tea's slow realization of how much time she'd lost, and how much time she was set to lose,was horrifying and so sad :( It crept up on her just like the cold did. Poor tea :( And Pegasus punished all of them because of Joey...

Tristan got locked up too? D: I like how even the offering of food seemed like 9and was) a threat in some respects. The fact that things seem to hinge on him figuring it out is interesting-he saw the painting alongside Tea and Ryou-but I dunno i he can put the pieces together in time! It feels like Pegasus's patience is running dangerously low.

Poor Yugi :( That "Learn to" was so cold. I felt frightened when he saw how devastated Pegasus looked at the prospect of them dying D: And he'd know of any plans to rescue Yami Yugi cause he can read minds, so he'd know if Yugi was trying to fool him, too...

Was the book Pegasus gave Ryou Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut? if so it's appropriate and more than a little worrying. Of all of them I'd say Ryou has the most chance of escaping simply because he's earned enough of Pegasuss trust and knows how and when to lie, but he's also in the most danger because of that, plus the Ring giving Pegasus incentive to look into his mind. I imagine it chained to a post or something so it can't float back XD

Mokuba's memories of the Christmas presents and Seto's scent were so sad :( I hope he gets better soon! It doesn't sound like he's really keeping anything down, so they may have to run an IV or something D:

Seto's not doing any better. Why would Pegasus want o sedate him to that extent and do everything for him, even something as small as shaving? o.o I'd guess he was so upset about Mokuba that they had to sedate him to keep him docile.

that. Ending. AAAAAAAAAAH! Was Serenity captured too or does he just have men at her house ready to shoot? D: And what happened to Mrs. Wheeler? Joey is gonna FLIP! But he knows not to attack Pegasus like that again, so that just leaves room for angry thoughts and his imagination and crushing guilt. which everyone else is feeling to some degree. if Pegasus had a contest for 'most creative ways to imagine killing him' i wonder who'd 'win.' XD

Ah, wow, what do you say to a fic this dark? I came here from following you on Tumblr and I have to say I won't be able to sleep tonight, your work here is so good! Everyone is breaking my heart in one way or another, but oh my god the Kaiba brothers and Ryou are killing me. I wish I could be as eloquent as you or your frequent reviewers are, but please know you've earned yourself a fan, and I look forward to your next update :)