Loving your work, and thanks for the chapter! I didn't realize that I'd see a shakespearean reference to the dialogue haha, but it's creative. Hope to see more!

Nooooo, why Velvet? She gets enough love from the community let alone, in fantictions. Coco deserves some love too. :,(

Honestly, I gave you this a chance.
I really tried but he's so pathetic.

We get it.
He's in another world and he'll never see his family again but he's basically just being emo for half of the story.

Yeah, that's a genuine reaction but this is a fanfic not a pity party.

If I wanted to hear people bitch about their lives then I would've just gone to a funeral.

Rwby is fun and exciting.
This is depressing and dramatic. (Also pathetic)

See the difference?
Fans wanted to read a fun and exciting fanfic, not a depressing and dramatic piece of needy shit who's basically leeching of strangers.

Update?

As an aussie, I'm afraid I'll have to dock you points for saying 'shrimp on the barbie' Imao

Faunus are technical human. I feel like he should have pointed this out

Let's hope Glen can actually ask Velvet to go to the dance with him.

Fuck I miss Code Geass, tried to watch Death Note but gave up halfway through. Funnily enough I finished the entirety of Sword Art a couple months later.

Here lies my life as a weeb.

Hi, my name is Oblivious...

"Hey, Oblivious"

The first time i read fanfiction it was kinda like a way to pass time y'know? Now I can't stop reading and it's ruining my-

¥

Ok Imma stop that joke right now coz it was getting kinda depressing, anyway interesting chapter. Looks like Cinder finds Jack interesting... FUCK. The dude is in trouble.

IJ the oblivious one

Yess go for Velvet! She never gets any love

Have you watched Red vs Blue? On Netflix every episode of each season is combined, but if you go to Rooster Teeth's website (and use google chrome) you can watch far more. Although, the most recent seasons (After Chorus and the next arc) aren't the best.

But for the chapter, I noticed more typos and convoluted sentences than usual. I blame it on Kill la Kill XD. It's still better than my story.

I say boyo/boio all the time too.

The subtle self-aware comedy just seemed to stick out a little more in this one. And, in reference to the "lack of substance", not every chapter needs to be important. Sometimes you need a fun little break. Look at the show itself. The first episode of volume two was pretty much entirely filler. But it's still one of my favourites, because it's just so FUN.

Yo it's vicious out here in Beacon, gotta watch out. They be biting their young like rats in starvation. Spotted that typo lol, but excellent chapter and excellent story. I really like how you write you and I Favorited this story...after binging the whole thing over a weekend.

Even if you finished the story now you already made one of my all-time favorite SI stories, so awesome work! Really inspired me to continue writing fanfic...just gotta get the motivation and time to do it! Ehehehe...

So thanks again for writing a great story. And you probably do need a beta since typos are rare, but its better to have a beta and not need it use them to spit-ball ideas; then to need them and miss something vital. Cuz they could have brought up the points you yourself noticed after before the chapters were finished instead of after.

Just my two cents. And again, hope to read much more of your story. SI stories get a bum rap, but they give a familiar perspective to settings that can be weird and alien like RWBY. So thanks again for the story and keep on writing and improving!

Your writing is amazing! I don’t normally review and while many find those certain stories they’d comment on i’d wanted to say how well you made your characters viewpoints as.

From detailing smoothly from scene to dialogue and using the unreliable narrative of your main character are points that just seem easy, deteriorate over fics or over a chapter losing skill. Yours knows twists, when to stop a chapter and sue me, I like your self insert.

Don’t know if you do these but a recommendation is changing the tags on the fic to an adventure drama. While friendship is key, in fan fiction admitably isn’t well recieved, least on my end. The real reason is the bonds the character share is almost garunteed through his adventures and you can utilize a tag that way. Don’t know if you do pairings but would you? Would that be a focus when suddenly main character loses in arm fighting a Grimm? I can’t wait

... well nothing like getting your ass kicked by an invincible girl to... where was i going with this? Meh i forgot.

Anyway looking forward to the next chapter yeh!