Your writing is so fluid and captivating and pulls me in with every word. I've been enjoying as I read the torment of Yamato and Ken for Mimi. Yama's love for her is fire and Ken is just so full of guilt for being with Miyako. Meanwhile Miyako *knows*.

I'm so happy to see you updating this again. I'll be waiting patiently for more. 3

Is...is this the ending? Is this it?
I'm addicted and conflicted whether I want it to be the ending already or more

A lovely ending.

Thank you for this update, you just made my day!

AH! I can't believe I haven't reviewed this story yet. I have been following it since day one.

There is just something so beautiful about this ship. I think a big part is definitely that I've never seen it explored, and neither has it crossed my mind, that every chapter is remarkably fascinating and filled with wonder... and the darkness and sin of it all is kind of reflective of how a crack ship that you've written with so much beauty would probably be received.

I love it all :)))

This is going to sound extremely condescending, but I think you know me better than to see it as such: your writing has matured, and I really love it. It's only a short update, and I'm not sure what it is exactly that fits so much neatly this time, but there are some really small things that stand out for sure. One, the dialogue, so much richer and simpler, and lusciously heartbreaking because you don't outright tell us to be heartbroken anymore; this time you wedge the knife in between such quotidian turns of phrase, and the effect is worth the pause you force (e.g., "It made me laugh at first. I don't know how I should feel now."; "Why? She's not in love with me, either."). Two, the description, which you know I have always loved and envied from you. There's no shortage of set-ups and break-downs here, all expertly placed (e.g., "A happier Ken, perhaps, one too wrapped up in Miyako to put his thoughts in order."). Three, I think...you should write more Hikari. I loathe writing her. But I'm desperate for more of her here. I put her on par with your Yamato. There's something to it, and I really enjoy it. Overall, Miyako's unbearably broken in here, and I think there's a nice arc to her journey in these pieces. She's complex, and understands herself to be, which is a rare feat to pull off. I will miss her.

Honestly, I've never even thought about this pairing but your story just drew me in. I must say, I am not disappointed in the least. This whole story is beautifully written. You have a way with words, and just the perfect spacing for each paragraph. And the way you portray the characters here, the way you write their feelings and thoughts makes it easy to understand how they feel and easy to relate to. Reading this has been a great experience. I hope you will continue writing. I would love to see more of this story :)

Not logged in, but I have to say this is so beautifully written. There's always that underlying bitterness throughout this whole story that comes with a ship that is only for the fucking and not for anything else, and there's something so lovely about it.

I'm thoroughly enjoying the development so far, especially with how Ken is progressing and his relationship with Mimi seems to be getting more and more turbulent. I am definitely feeling a lot for poor Miyako.

And you have such a way with words! Ughhhh. How Mimi explained why she "chose" Yamato, how you always write about Miyako's heart breaking every time Ken doesn't do something that he probably should do with her. I just love everything.

Will keep up with this.

I tend to prefer an organic approach to writing. Personally, it's the only way I can write, and it's always interesting to get insight into how others approach the craft of writing. It's not always easy to write that way, not knowing where you'll go, but I find it makes it almost more interesting.

I read this a couple of times to catch all of the nuances. The dialogue, what's said and isn't, seems to be almost like a delicate and destructive dance between Ken and Mimi. He seems to place her on a pedestal that she's tearing down, bit by bit, but I think she's starting to show a bit more vulnerability around him. It's so subtle and I love the way you portray their interactions. They are a rare pair but I love reading about two characters that don't get to interact much (if at all?) in canon, to see the ways their personalities mesh and/or clash.

Which is why I loved Miyako and Yamato's conversation, too. I have the sense that Miyako is very similar to Mimi, and it makes sense that they wouldn't understand Yamato completely, given their different communication styles. Miyako's bluntness and Yamato's reticence makes an interesting contrast, as does the circularity of their conversation; they both are honest with each other but still, they can't understand the other. (Also, Miyako admiring beautiful people is so in character. Love that bit).

(The cartoonist is Dan Piraro!) Tangential writing is fun writing, but sometimes it shouldn't be. And by this mean unedited writing can be so rewarding, so I wouldn't want things to simmer here for you, but push. I think the experimentation is helping you try different ways to express a certain feeling or moment, which is really the only thread in this series, and that's why I've been so interested in giving close feedback.

This felt cleaner, tighter, and more resonant. I enjoyed the conversation between Miyako and Yamato. It went about as well as I would imagine any of their conversations to go; he doesn't seem to have much patience for people like her, but he's far too polite to say so. It's a good contrast with the reserved way he behaves around Mimi, for example. There are similar tensions, and a similar impatience.

My favorite parts to all these though remain Ken and Mimi. Ugh, the line about his blush: such a great image in just one small phrase. I don't know if it was the placement, the wording, or the atmosphere, but that was it for me.

So delighted by an update, but I know I'm late writing this. Life is wearing me down.

This was, as always, a valuable addition with lots of intricacies and layers to explore. I'm really interested in how you're pulling Ken out of the outline you'd sketched of him in earlier chapters. He's become more full. But, and I don't mean this to be taken the wrong way, I'm not sure that the same can be said to either Mimi or Yamato here (or even Miyako). If I could use an analogy, thus far these drawings are tracing the same lines of their characters deeper and deeper, and everything about their difficult struggles in terms of their feelings for one another, the gravity between them, is etched in sharper lines. But at a certain point, your pen is going to break through the paper, and rupture the story (if you wish to call this a story; I don't wish to put words in your mouth on this, and there is no need at all for this exist in any other form than its beautiful murmurings as is). Ruptures are wondrous things, but sometimes they distract, and frustrate, and impede.

What would the Yamato in "Crush" look like without the framing of his misery from different angles? Are there other kinds of misery that could flesh him out, shade him in, expand the lines of his character, and even in ways that, while maybe not immediately apparent, could signal back to the fundamental lack that Mimi creates in him? Who is he here without her? How would showing him experiencing misery without her, experiencing any other emotion as intensely without her, make that much more clear why his accusations of "How miserable must I be for you to be happy?" sting so much more? It's a devastating criticism of Mimi, but it's an even worse criticism of himself. Does he realize that? Does he care? If this is love for Yamato, does it matter if he's miserable? Does he know how to love her without it?

At the same time, if this story is a study of precisely that claim that this is a Yamato who can't be Yamato without the misery she gives him, then how else can he know this about himself? There are things about her selfishness that Ken here, it may be argued, loves. Is that true for Yamato? Does he love her in spite of it, or because of it? Does he love anything else about her? How can we know that?

I only ask questions because I like writerly explorations, but I also know these questions aren't totally appropriate to this story, and may not be relevant to its future. Either way, I enjoyed having this inspiration to think about them more for myself. I look forward to the next update.

I've been reading along as you've been posting without reviewing, and I think it's time I finally wrote one. I'm so intrigued by this story-you have such a beautiful writing style that is at times poetic and at other times raw, making beautiful things ugly, and ugly things beautiful. There are so many ambiguities and while it makes it confusing to follow sometimes, I like that things aren't obvious-we have to piece the parts of the story that aren't told together to form a full picture of what's happened, and I think that's interesting. Not everything always need be said.

I think you mentioned in one of your previous author's notes that you weren't sure where the story was headed, so it's interesting to see it develop into what it has-not what I expected, but aren't those the best stories, in the end? The way the characters and their relationships have been developed makes them feel real-love isn't easy, or mutual, and sometimes, it isn't enough, and it's interesting to see Mimi and Ken hovering between Miyako and Yamato. I wonder if what they desire isn't desire itself-not each other, or even Miyako or Yamato, but the feelings that are evoked when others love or adore them. (I'm not sure if that makes any sense...). In any case, I look forward to future instalments.

I'm a terrible fan and only have been reading this lately, so I selfishly will say I do not mind the lack of updates elsewhere.

That said, I'm glad you're feeling more confident in this direction. I felt a decisive shift in this chapter. It's markedly different than the previous ones, so much so that I had to jump back to a few to get my bearings before reviewing. I am reading this as a good thing, because I think in hindsight I can look at the previous eight and collect them together in an act one bundle of sorts, and this is a hiccup of an intermission.

What makes it meaningful is Mimi, of course. I don't know if this is what you're intending, but I am reading (projecting?) into this an emerging realization in Mimi that she is not important. She isn't important enough to Yamato to make him move from his decision about her, however this pains him daily, and she isn't important enough to Ken to make him stop moving away from him. She obviously is excruciatingly important to the both of them, but she's not going to see it that way, because Mimi is a very words over actions person, except she thinks of herself in the exact opposite.

Anyway, all this to say that I do think there's some momentum building back up now. I can easily see her bringing them all down to her level so she's no longer alone in her ugliness, or finding a way back out again, and being at peace. I think your skills could lend themselves credibly to either extreme, but I suspect this will be a bittersweet mix of something else. Looking forward to more.

I apologize for my delayed review; I haven't been feeling well.

The only thing I can think to suggest is surprising yourself, next time you sit down for an update. I think going against your own grain might lead to something revealing. For example, the first entry is so crisp and exacting. It's short but not oppressively so, and I think the dialogue (again, I love your dialogue) demonstrates how well Yamato and Sora get along to me. The silence between her last snappish question to her next apologetic remark is exactly the kind of bait and switch she'd pull when her temper flares but she knows she's right anyway, just not right enough to be mean. That's her difference from your Mimi, so comparing this scene with the Yamato and Mimi scene a few chapters back is so fruitful to me, and you planted that reference well with him reflecting on that scene, too. I know you're not much of a fan of Sora, but you really get her, and how she is with both Mimi and Yamato in this story. That's the against the grain that doesn't always flow from you in previous work, but it might be something to consider more.

That might also be why the second half falters a tiny bit, then comes back swinging in the last lines. I really liked this contrast with the last few interactions between Ken and Miyako. He's picking up Mimi's selfishness, whether he sees it or not, or maybe because he's envious of it, even a little. Selfishness is the best defense for not getting what you think you want, which is why Mimi gets to stay selfish for being stalled in her feelings, and Yamato gets to escape it by refusing to stall in the way she wants him to. Ken gets to learn how to be selfish to mimic Mimi more here, but I doubt Miyako will bend back in the same way that Yamato does. Or maybe she does? I don't know, because she's still a little unclear in this story. That's not bad at all. I think she's just waiting to get to know your head a little better here. So, I'd suggest flipping things on its head, and see if that sparks anything. Looking forward to more.

Oh no, have my ramblings been stressful? I didn't enter into this thinking it had a narrative or was aiming for a holistic conclusion. I thought it was meant to be loosely woven collections of different scenes, so that's how I've been composing my reviews. Looking back, I can see where some of my comments might have suggested the sort of development expected of stories with more heft. I think it's possible to do development in non-linear drabbles, too, though, so I think that's really what I meant by anything so far. I'm sorry to contribute to any anxiety about this.

Then again, writerly anxiety is not all that awful, generally. I think it's churning out better and better chapters for this particular collection, so something's working here. This was a nice look into Ken's world, with the kind of un-assured bitterness that I think suits him well. I think Ken gets mistaken as sort of plain, if beautiful, person, someone who you notice right away but then immediately forget about after he's gone. I think people like Daisuke or Miyako latch on to him, and he them, because they bring some color into how he sees himself.

So seeing him here with your Mimi is very interesting, because the shocks are rippling deep. Ken being shocked with himself and how he's starting to feel, Ken being shocked that Miyako doesn't make him feel this way, Ken being shocked that Mimi will simply not stay on the pedestal he puts her on or in the box that is people's perceptions of her: they all chip away at him in ways that I think show him to be confused, imperfect, and even a little ugly. It's nice. Looking forward to more.