Ow

Pb

Your use of colorful language is too heavy. I see you are also one of those people who doesn't like to finish their stories.

Your grammar could definitely use some work. Your chapters are pretty short. Your descriptive language needs refinement. Your writing is somewhat jumbled, and you use words that don't belong. You use 'big, fancy' words way too often, and you use them incorrectly. There are many words you use that I don't think you actually know what they mean.

OMG please update soon please!

very much looking forward to it

Interesting story