...Yeah, no. Third person really doesn't work for what you are going on here. It feels fake and only serves to muddle immersion. "He felt" "He said" " He..." How about actually showing it instead of writing a report about it.
Bite the bullet, scrap it and re-write it. All of it.

Speaking of problems, your characterization has a few of them, which are going to be a major issue. Dude wakes up in a different universe and... nothing? On what amounts to a disclaimer? Where's the shock? The outrage? The panic? Then he gets told that he left behind his family and, once again, nothing happens. If your character can't be bothered to give a shit, why should the reader do so?

From the WA forum...

Yeah, the bold is okay for single lines here and there, but it's visually distracting to see them consecutively or especially as a single block of paragraph. I'd bold the header ("Attire Type": Medium Armor) for the non-dialogue bits, and do something like put in a bolded / at the beginning of a paragraph instead.

I'd also either center the scene changes or add more hyphens to them, to make them more obvious.

I love this story please write more.

It's going to be a long talk.

Well they're in trouble.

He made a new friend.

(Stumbled upon your review request on the Constructive Criticism Request page. Thought I might as well give you some kind of feedback, but be warned: I haven't written a lot of reviews to be the best at giving criticism)
From what I read:
The biggest part I want to address is the entire format. I'm not very savvy when it comes to different formats on writing, but it did help some when you listed above the different types of text. In the beginning when you separated the "-uknown-" from "-home, bedroom-", for example, starting to read that and have different periods of time or settings later on kind of threw me around instead of letting me flow through the story. Now, there will be people like me who won't sit still with it (I can almost guarantee that), but there will be a populace of others who will be open-minded and read everything. As a different reader, that's what threw me off first. However, you can feel free to ignore the first paragraph if you are adamant on sticking with this format. Things like what I'll write about next might help readers like me stick with the story.
The other issue I want to point out is the grammar, metaphors, similes, spelling, and so forth (in case you come across the so-called "Grammar Nazis" and etc). I'll only point out two (because I'm already taking up too much space in the review page as it is. Selfish lil' ol' me...):
"...,shattering the bliss that is cotton fabric." (I never think of shattering anything when it comes to fabric. Maybe if bliss were like a glass figure or a porcelain cup or something fragile like that, it would make more sense? For me it just didn't sit well)
"He lived in this house for over 10 years, he knew every subtle noise it made as old houses tended to do." ("He lived in this house for over ten years; he knew every subtle noise it made as old houses tended to do." I'm not sure if the "10" was also supposed to be part of the "psuedo-gamer insert", but in any other case it would be best to refrain from using numbers in the same instance. Also, the semi-colon should be that one helpful, behind-the-scenes friend for all writers. It has a wacky definitive but sure does help when you're stuck!) For more of these issues the only thing I can suggest is a Beta-Reader who definitely knows the fandom and has a schedule and type of editing that fits your bill. Feel free to ignore that part if you don't care for BRs.
Other than that, I think you have a good idea going on here. RWBYbody swapping? Awesome idea! I really do applaud you for writing as much as you have and are still doing right now because as a fellow writer I want to encourage you as much as I can. It's best to keep on writing especially when you feel that you can't. I hope what I wrote helps shed (albeit little, compared to other masters of reviewing, wherever they are...)light on the subject and I wish all the best for you while writing! C:

You might want to tone down the dipshit on this one. Seriously, every time he opens his mouth something cringe-worthy follows.