'yea I should be the same Dark Elf that reviewed your story a whiles ago. I meant to keep following it... but I've been so busy lately and I guess it slipped my mind. I have to catch up on all the chapter posts but I went ahead and started re-reading your story and I totally remember it. So far I really do like it, you are a very good writer! hey so thank YOU for the compliment you gave me. I don't have time to finish all the chapters right now... so you can expect more reviews from me (obviously not on ch15...cause well i can't review a ch twice) in a little while. Continue writing. From what I've read so far you're doing an awesome job. and *sigh* Remy...well can't do better than him in any story. ;)

its coming along nice, can't wait for the next one

Very good story!~ Write more!~

wow, very creative

Come to think of it, I'm lost too. But they found Remy! I believe that piece of news is satisfactory in itself. I await the next chapter... explanation included! - Adieu!

cliff hangers evil, your story is good, update soon.

Like your story _very_ much, hope you update _very_ soon *g*

Keep up the good work!

Read y'around,

Elanor

yah! another great chapter! and up so soon! (makes me happy!) i can't wait for your next post!

Dark Elf

Yeesh. You updated so quickly, I didn't get to review the last chapter! Sydney sounds like fun and it looks like you're gonna incorporate some Warren-hatred conflict here. I await the moment that Warren realizes what a hypocrit he is! In the meantime, where are Rogue and Logan? Only time will tell! That... and another chapter! - PS: sorry about the death of your computer.

loving the story.

WOW! this is an amazing story! i cant believe i've missed it (i always check for Remy fics)..your a great writer and I can't wait until you update! please let me know when you do!

Dark Elf

Awww! Did you make Scott all sweet and understanding for me? Ya shouldn't have! - But even if ya didn't, it was still sweet.

Actually, Remy did get his pocket picked once in the comics. It's no less funny in your story. I have a question in mind, though. By 'Dreams' and 'Feelings' do you meen residue phycic backlash from the AOA? That's just my theory. Great job so far! -

The switch into Wolverine's point of view was nicely done: very smooth, very internal, very effective.

""What?" Scott gasped. "How can that be possible? The professor would have known!" Logan was a little surprised by that himself. He didn't like telepaths, and an empath was almost the same, if not worse." ~a small structural suggestion there. "Logan was a little surprised...(etc.)" Should probably be a separate paragraph from Scott's dialogue because even though I read that it's Logan after that, it still seems like it's Scott that doesn't like telepaths. Making it a separate paragraph would clearly eliminate that awkwardness, the possible misconception of who "he" is in the sentence "He didn't like telepaths..." It's not absolutely necessary... but it does read better.

In the following paragraph, with the dialogue ending "...He was probably working for Sinister all this time." She said bitterly. ~Two things. (1) Who is she? There are several females present. I'm assuming it's Jean from the dialogue... but it could very possibly be someone else. Unless it's utterly obvious, tell us the name. (2) Try letting us know who's speaking a little earlier in that dialogue. Again, it's more awkward with the tag line following all of that. Try something like: "Not really, Scott," she (Jean?) said. "Remy has never..." and ~"...Not letting us see who he really was." Bitterly, she added, "He was probably working for Sinister all this time."~

Oh.. and even though when you first transition into Logan's point of view... make sure you reiterate it throughout, and not just say "He". For example... "Rogue shook his head in tears. Logan felt really sorry for the girl..."

Again... I do realize that it's Logan's head were seeing everything from, but, when you start a paragraph with another character such as in that one, the reader's brain automatically adjusts to thinking the rest of that paragraph is continuing the description with that character... like you transitioned into that character's point of view. Thus, using only "he", it's awkward to try and jump back. It'd be more confusing... like about with the Scott dialogue I pointed out when the gender is the same as the point of view you are writing from.

And, I'm noticing that you mostly do put the tag lines at the end of the dialogue again in the Scott dialogue that ends with "Scott said in his full 'fearless leader' mode. It is recommended to include such tag lines earlier... not only so that the reader knows who is speaking when a larger group is present, but in cases such as this example, when the writer describes how the dialogue is spoken, by moving that information earlier in the dialogue, we know how he says it before the dialogue is completed, and thus, we readers get a clearer understanding and can almost hear him say it the way you want us to 'hear' him say it as we read it.

The same goes for the Storm dialogue that follows that one. You could begin that dialogue as-In a small uncertain voice, Storm said, "He asked to be left alone. He deserves his space." -or if you want her dialogue to start right up, so us readers get a sense of her immediate response to Scott's dialogue, you could write it as-"he asked to be left alone," Storm said in a small, uncertain voice. "He deserves his space." -read over those and see for yourself how that directs the reader to hear how Storm says that so that it reads that was as we read it. The order of dialogue and tag lines and descriptions really do have immense effect on how the reader recieves what is expressed by the writer.

yeah... just like you do in the very next dialogue... though, you say "he" again... lol. Is that scott speaking there?

"Ya can say whatever ya want kid, but I'm goin', and I wouldn't mind fightin' ya for it either." ~hehe... that's a great Logan comment. Oh, and if you compare how your structured that dialogue sequence to the others before it which I commented on, you'll see how that one flows so much more smoothly. That section was wonderfully written.

Oh mah gawd! This is getting so exciting. Logan is sensing the weight of Rogue and Gambit's upcoming THING here. Egads! :reads curiously:

"'Talking 'bout rejection...' he thought, glancing at Joseph, he was staring at her with pain in his eyes, and he couldn't help feeling sorry for the kid. 'I could have told ya not to come between those two. They may seem doomed to disaster, but that's just them.'"~Wow... dang good insight there. And you chose the perfect person to express it. Wow. ... oh, and I noticed something here. You took my advice about the paragraph spacing. Thanks! It does make it easier to read. I wish let the indents for the paragraph show so we didn't have to put in the extra space, but :sigh: it doesn't. This way does make it much easier to read though. But... the reason I only now noticed it is because the three paragraphs around this bit I just quoted from the chapter is lacking of the extra space between paragraphs where the rest of the chapter has it.

"He should have staid to face the consequences. " ~"stayed" not "staid" ~_~oooo

""Well, he says that in the letter, but that's just an excuse.,," she started..." ~lol... I'm sure you can find the error yourself in that one. It's obviously just a typo.

And why is Logan having these foreboding feelings? I'm very, very curious about that... and I know you're going to make me wati to find out... :pouts:... not really... it adds to the fun and excitement of reading for this to be drawn out like this. Great job on that.

"He turned around, leaving her with a baffled look on her face. 'She must think yer crazy!' he thought. On the outside, he just growled.

Apparently, the quarrel between Cyclops and Rogue was over, because as soon as he reach them, she gave him a nasty look and fled out of the room. Logan just grinned." ~two comments. (1) The spacing thing was lost on these two paragraphs like earlier. (2) "...because as soon as he reached them, Rogue gave him a nasty look..." alter "reach" to "reached" and "she" to "Rogue". The reach thing is for the verb tense, and the she thing is to make it flow more smoothly.

Oh... and the very last two paragraphs need also to be separated by an extra space too.

I know I'm giving you a lot of correction type comments... but, it's because this is so well written overall that I don't want small things to interrupt the skill and talent displayed. Also, well, editing things is like second nature to me. I actually carry around a red pen with me... everywhere. lol. Plus, I like that you haven't emailed or IMed me for help... 'cause you honestly don't need help with your writing. The things I've pointed out are small things, or, deeper analyzations of writing itself. I get so many requests from help after I review that, well, frankly, it's refreshing that you don't ask, and thus, I'm more natural to just make the critiques in the review.

Still... dang good story. Can't wait for more.

Well done. I'm not sure what it is that Logan's trying to remember, but it sound pretty important. The difference in the people's opinions of Gambit after his departure all seem very well portrayed.

I do, however, have a request. Can Scott be understanding in this story? So many people depict him as this condescending soldier/boyscout that wouldn't give Gambit the time of day, but I think that as a team leader, he would struggle to understand the motives of the people he leads.

Also, thanks for the Rogue/Remy-ness. It's most appreciated! - Adieu!

"She used her most severe tone; one that was usually reserved for the younger people, but that had proved to be useful with the Cajun she thought of as her brother, who was prone to childish behavior, though obviously of a different nature than Bobby's."~~The observation you've made here is simply marvelous. hehehe.

"'Cause I'm a coward, an' I don' wan' to be one anymore." ~~Dang, that's good. I am so envious of the way you've captured Gambit. I sooooo can't portray him as easily as you do. My problem with capturing Gambit so accurately is locked up much in my style of writing, since I delve into the psyche of a character so much, rather than just relying predominantly on his dialogue, actions, and surface thoughts. Even just using these things as you do, you still do an amazing job compared to most writers. Excellently done!

"Like pulling out a band-aid." ~Should probably be "like pulling off a band-aid." Still, I clearly got the idea of what you were expressing here, and DANG! That's a great descriptive article you got there. It said so much in so few words and I'm sure all of us knew exactly what the meaning was. Congrats on such good writing.

"Remember when you found me on the tunnels?" ~"in" instead of "on". You know what? In most fics I pass these off, and when they occur too frequently I get turned off and tend to stop reading... But, by knowing about the language thing, I have no problem reading through these mistakes (very understandable mistakes, since I know I make them when trying to write foreign languages for characters' dialogue), and passing you the corrections. It doesn't take much effort on my part and I'm glad to see my giving you these corrections doens't grate on you.

"I'm leaving to do the right thing and for once face the one thing I fear the most. That would be myself." ~Another excellent observation and wording again. Wow. Just... Wow.

The letter was incredible. Again, I am very envious of the way you portray these characters so clearly... so precisely, yet in simple terms that have much much deeper meanings. Congrats on another very well done chapter.