I’m new to Naruto fanfiction and I love your story. I’m loving the cover as “Wolf” and the autonomy he’s going about things. Hope you pick this story up again and we can see where his relationships and skills keep going!

Not to blast you, but I think Naruto would have been skilled enough at the point to leave those three alive. Yes the act is vile, but killing transfers that weight. He was young, as was said, but also without cause. (Sorry If it comes off as blasting. This act always wrings up complications.)

I feel the retribution per the leaf proper is an aspect fan-stories avert all too often. Even if it’s characterized as a corrupt system, he shouldn’t be made to lead with assassination every time. (And yes, those two crimes tend to pair off. As if shipping was a blood sport, it seems to correlate vaguely)

If it made you feel uncomfortable, I’d suggest finding an alternative path for the scene.

Your Grammer is slipping a little. I’m guessing the chapters before have been edited more recently

I would like to refer that this is your first, and that you consider the quality of this chapter to be mildly reduced?

I am impressed by your work thus far. There are elements where your emotions take control of the plot devices, but even then you remain far more composed than is typical. You are Relatively consistent, your writing is solid, and your future plot twists are well concealed.

If there is yet room to grow, I look forward to your work.

Man I just finished reading your story hope you write some more it was great

This story has a lot of potential, but a lot of wasted material as well. For example, you wasted words on a page to describe the hopes and plans of Hiashi to bring Hinata back into the clan, only for it to bust. You should have just had the banishment permanent from the start and made it a little more tragic on Hiashi's part. Like him banishing Hinata KNOWING he could not bring her back but also knowing it was the only way to save her.

The training journey seems to have been completely wasteful, all you did was have him save Fu, that could have been done WITHOUT him being outside the village and simply had her rush to Konoha, or had him out of the village on some small travel. Slaughtering the ROOT was pointless except putting Danzo in check, but again that could have been done within the village. Lastly was the intervention in the Kiri Civil War. That's a completely unnecessary plot device unless you plan on adding Mei and Shizuka to the mix.

Due to this, you've had little to no character development between Naruto, Anko, and Hinata. It's like "Okay, I saved your life", then one chapter later "Oh we're neighbors now", then several chapters later "I love you", there's nothing showing where these relationships actually built up from. I mean even the "You remove this Cursed Seal and I'll f*** your brains out" cliche seems more realistic and thoroughly developed.

It has potential though, I mean at the beginning you displayed Minato and Kushina's mastery in seals in what they crafted for Naruto. You gave him the Rinne-Sharingan instead of the Rinnegan or Sharingan like everyone else, or god forbid the Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan. These are all unique and original plot devices I haven't seen before, so like I said, great potential, but wasted material.

Good story

Good start to the story.

you are a good storyteller but as far as writing it needs work. with this being said keep writing. you can get better if you keep at it

This story is amazing. I’m not sure why you haven’t done anything more with it. I hope you can continue where you left off.

Type one with this story. You made it too hard to even believe. The seals with weights 4000 pounds it wrong. Lee trained for years with only weight on his legs using chakra to help his muscles. So yea but no. Good story idea though.

You do know you can Not hear a heart beat even with machines more than about 15-20 feet. The heartbeat sound waves are not strong enough to go though the body and be heard no matter how great the hearing is. The more stuff in the air (dust, other sound waves, wind, etc.) and moving body changes the sound wave or overpowers it. It takes machines that have been tested, and given samples of sounds in its data bank to decode the small waves in the air. That has always ticked me off about superman. He hears things from hundreds of miles away in an instant it happens yet sound travels at 720mph. Even then things will stop the sound with a mile.

Que pasó no a actualizado la historia i es muy buena deseo saber si seguirá o la dejaras así por el momento

Did you still continued this story?

It's a good thing that wolf is going to find out what's going on.