I like this story, but your oc is bit.. Eh.. Mary Sue? I wish you would make her bit stronger and like have her take self defense classes etc

where is chapter 2? you post chapter 3 in chapter 2

write more, i'm intrigued

12. nuked b itten as all of best frien ds then my sister Bittenby reproduction intopn with it then suddeenly with her screamimg with myself with the thre with killed Vulcan this on e killed both of you wehere your makerrsd then screaming then Both sides were Drain ed of blood from alien sn akes then screaming then Brutallitst but near deasth then torn venom was in to our dying heartsd then then sweping then too late screaming this one broke bothn laws aBlood spatteredas all of bruutally attackede but sexaully assaulted then torn clotes was dead b y them then the head with them you asre too late the venom from true alien sn akes will kill them you die with them the screamed then then Executedwere as all of them then was n ear death suiddenly the bite healed her then Fled thenblew frely then suddenly deceaased tghen suddenly screamin g Felix kill them weeit others scream ing thenb roken then torn from here then Murdered from here torn v ery painfully bod as all of then the gashing bites were bioth piecdes were as all f turned coldest thenblew freely then toren from here Alice Daisy an d ABella wiyth them are assaulted let me turn them then Dawnbitten us both with them ferlt death blewe with them then Destroyed from here then were as a ll of fred of bodies were as all tore then heads frerly thenmyself destroyed with here the n You broke law an d treaty is severed Fe ix then the killed from here Tore frely then extin ct then were as all of them then never b e reincarn ated be cursed in ashes then then ripped nowe was in jured we ith her then sudenly the head discover our sickn essees Reyerson's Disease weree dying thenblewe freely iimpaled from here b ring here w ith as all of them we b ring the con v icts have morer as all of allies will be destroyed at night then screams fallow ed then were ashes then newest as all of therm suddenly alien rattle snake venom altered everythig blew with implanted kids smashed were as all of them around vanished as all f them brought here were as all of the very far way more heaviest of as all of them hearts stopped moving from here then suddenly snapped freely then eyes went open were in fact Darker Falkor's Red eyes skins were hard as ston e blown freely shredded apart nwest skin took it's place hair was longeer never had air Alice!Daisy wha-what you do to us we are thirty then my throat is fieryu they n eed to hun t an d slay then first hunt in both form s then sudde nly as all of more to around the world glad wearing bodysuits CLAMPEDFrom here then ripped b ring them then brought here then were as all of them sudden ly too late killed as all of them were as all f them extinct then were drain ed of blood ten n ow a problem were unable to be killed marked by Zeus lord king of the gods/goddesses as KAin drds and Galactic Lycans mix b lew frely now looked felt young but were no longer mortal brought bodies then were as all of them now fed what nexty Holy Plan et um' Sis we have stopped dyuing or living my head going to whirl so myself we drank Ursus's blood granted usd planetary abliiesa were with as all blacking outside then blown freely as all of them brought here we discovered them as all of more hunted as all animals were dead of poison good then ashes all of them then heads smashed then ashes then too late aas all of bones as all the Loveliest ABon es in safes as all of themnuked freely then were ashes now wheree are we in oh god please Garrett yikes we died no we are with a bitten host are Kindred and Galactic Lycans blacking outside ripped freely then name Swan in a Bird Daisy you sound like her who Susie Salmon yikes like in my book 1973 murdered tragic yes then thank Ares in his name we can't mov e on where are we gasped Heaven no Susie entered inbetween you are murdered with her with them will be here crap what is werong Alice I Was Daisy Swan born was murdered by Felix of the Volturi Isabella Swan was killed with her with them we are in the most weirdest place known as Limbo myself read it with as all of both things were as all of them I saw a girl appeared not human her name was Alice she said you are now in the inbetween that myself felt it are were dead yes first you must learn from us/them then my quest began with hers dressed from the novel child your grieved fam ilies are suffering Acolytes we are aboard help us/all then it was too late were no longer here b ut exploding with more as all of them destroyed now too late my cloaked hand it said within here Search for our killers and Murderers don't look back we been killed! that used the rest of clothes as all of the sudden deactivated nuked freely then suddenly with supernatural as all of them aboard with us/as all of them blown freely then smashed freely newest homes built over the bones of us/them then complete blown freely then suddenly were aboard as all of them exploding but suddenly too late were the same beings at death then caused a hugest city-state now were as all of them with saved animals blown were more then blazing freely then were more then littered ten as all of Vampires burst freely exploding drained of blood as all of them suddenly too late were in fact as all of them had looks/voices and gifts then too late who formed as all of coven and armies as all of them were as all of m met as all wild Vampires ten too late blown freely it was too late Volturi discovered corpses as all of them were with as all now ruled here then too late took over now 2018 to many years later it came we fled as all of them were merged as all of them to Vulcan in pods as all of them several many years later or more as all of them used from but times had changed were as all of them slew them as all of them then ripped from here as all of them around the world blown were with us/them then lost from here then now as all of them did find bodies were furious of them then were as all of them next then now too late blew freely were purified then then were as all of them as all of them were no longer human s then blew from here now young/youth took over then as all of them suddenly too late as all of bodies were found now rotting begins then were as all of them ashes for the snow melted as all of them cursed the Volturi as all of them with a tainted mark right smack we were still healed from here now no longer here but were in fact changed.

12. bitten best frieeeen ds harder then my recov ering sister was all-venomous onto her orher weist deepest ten Volturi found me with her with them

9.
Chapter 9.
then Ad ppendixes ruptered Screaming then was pukiung then then was greenish blood thyen BLACKED OUT The seer had a vision then ourselves weree with hurge Jurai Red eyes then Volturi you there who created you two with the best take them Guards then sudenly kidnapped was gone taken from here were Not humans but from a choisen human mother a Father looked mostly Vampiric then we bring ye the newborns with alien racing hearts and blood kills the Vulcans thgen Venom was into us with them then a alien change then too late wiped memories of our brains wre not humans but Shadowhunters bred to war and culture recruited cursed to be Immortal but glowing most powerful then puked the Appendix blacked out without blood from birth then Reborn again resurrected then suddenly were silvery moonlight skinned then suddenly swore alliance to Neo-Queen Serenity and King Endymion and their child then suddenly were now ready What is that noise their hearts are alien but beating but moving they look human but they are Mostly Vampiric born with teeth and canines make them guards these wee our carninivorous selves exploding then then suddenly Alice felt no body temperature was only both remaining then suddenly the venom was far too much many more was now three times greater than normal so my sister was Frozen in her seventeen year old's body was 21 years old i was the youngest sister frozen at Sixteen was 15 Alice i don think they are humans they are a species born with teeth and canines My fangs oops poked out came out of the coffin this new year look young but we are not humans hear our alien hearts beating but symbolized then

this is so great!

Great story keep going

awesome
please update soon

I like this. It's a good start. Keep up the good work.

Awesome