To start off, I think you have a really nice story idea here. The dialogue between Delsin, Fetch, Eugene and Reggie feels natural and the action is well-paced.

My criticism is that Lidia feels very Mary Sue-ish from her initial appearance. I've never heard of a Conduit with wings before and her powers aren't well-explained. But if you could tie up those loose ends as the story progresses I think it just might work.

I'm a sucker for a good romantic subplot in any work, but the tricky thing about that is you have to have a balance for the romantic moments and the actual story to make sure the subplot doesn't take over. Another tricky thing to get right is progression. Lots of fanfiction writers make the mistake of just starting out with their character being a canon character's boy/girlfriend. The problem is that there's no buildup to the relationship, which can make it seem forced or OOC. Some flashbacks or explainations might help with this, though.

Sorry this turned into a book, but I do hope you would take the time to think about my suggestions. :-)

SHES A MARY SUE

Fix this cuz i cant read shit when saying numbers and percents