Amelia is kinda a bitch, huh. Like, she openly sees him as having a crush on her and being awkward around girls as something to be used against him. She sees his little advances and vulnerabilities as mock-able, and she's honestly an idiot?

Idk, I don't like her, though cx

FUCK WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS AGAIN? Gahh, the whole Jones family can die and go to hell or somewhere less fun, tbh

You know, something that I've never cared for about these vampire things is just the forced angst

"...the truth is ugly." *Disappears into the night*

Like, bitch, you just told me my uncle is harboring 200 year old children in a fucking lab and that said children are looking to kill me personally, I feel like your god damn tap-dancing lessons from 1980 isn't gonna scare me away.

Also, Amelia is really impulsive, isn't she? She...I don't know, just, her character throughout all of this is very...teenage girl. Which, I mean, she is one, but also-I'm annoyed cx

They don't get together is my vote.

I thought that the dream at the beginning was actually a part of the story and I was going to yell at you about pacing.

Hmm, so we get to see the twins that were mentioned earlier. This is all very interesting. I have to wonder how Alin expects to go on. His way is obviously not working very well. Work at a bloodbank or something, idk, but prostituting out to one weird fuck isn't gon get you far, kid.

Wonder what's going to happen. I still don't think that I've seen much of a plot yet; is this another day-to-day fic?

I really liked this chapter!

There was a lot of development for Alin in this, I think. Or, at least, a pointing of where deterioration of develop has been. Seeing as he is a vampire this makes sense. Tear him down in the beginning, or at least bring us in at a point of breakdown, and then build him up a lil. It's nice

Lol, Amelia's makeup skills though. Honestly, is Alin a GBF or smthn? Cx

It felt like something bad was going to unfold? No shit, he was handcuffed to your fucking father's bed? How does this not raise, just, all the questions? Also, why is Lukas handing her a VS bag? NOT ALLOWED. NOPE. STOP. Why are all the old men in this FUCKING CREEPS ?

What?

What?

What the fuck just fucjing happened? Is this some BDSM shit except, like, hella worse? Damn, what are you doing to this poor kid? I honestly love his characterization so fucking much. YOU CONVERT ME TO LIKING A NEW CHARACTER AND THEN YOU DO THIS? What the hell, Drac? Who gave you the *right*?

Oh my goodness, I love Arthur in this! Not only is he such a child when it comes to what he believes (any sane person pressing back against the Council wouldn't do it with fake scars, let's be honest. He's a teenager that thinks his actions mean more than they do, and gosh do I relate.), he's also strangly mature. The way he was so absorbed with his reading really showed his passion without you having to say anything. The way the Kirkland siblings interacted was fun and not-out-of-place, which is wonderful!

I do like that you've made Amelia a bit nervous. The action that shows this the most his her switching out her jacket for something that made her look like she wasn't trying to hard to look cool. She's a kid with a crush-and not your Berwald and Tonio crush situation xD I can get behind this a lot more because at least we're talking about kids and not grown ass men blushing after being called handsome. (I am never going to let you live that down, btw. You're welcome.)

There's an admiration that I must send your way. Your characters are always doing something relevant. I. Love. It. Whether it ties directly into the plot, the budding conflict, or the character development, every scene has someone doing something that goes past face value. In EoI there are a lot of scenes that are to build on tone rather than the end goal. The main scene that comes to mind is in chapter one or two right after Lovino makes his first visit and you go into detail of Feliciano suffering on the floor, just staring forward. It built on the darkness you were going for. In this fic, however, everything is a bit quicker. We're going along with kids as they pretend that they know what the world holds because their in on some little secret. It's ignorant, believable, and I reaaaallllyyy like it.

Oh, and Alin's "...through the slit on the top...Please don't come back here." All but made me laugh and curious at the same time. He knew that Amelia wasn't taking to his 'sent' messages, so he just ripped it out, forcing her to acknowledge it. It paints him a little stronger than he was last chapter, but without tearing away his naivety.

Okay, so I cannot offer too many critiques or thoughts, seeing as this is only the first chapter and this is a genre that I don't read...at all, but I can tell you that I already do not like the Council. Their goals are no better than the church's Inquisition in End Of Innocence. They kill vampires on the basis of said vampires killing people, making them hypocrites. Not only that, but the vampires that are completely innocent according to some artifact are forced under probation. Not only is that fucked up, but it's not right. In a modern-day writing with supernatural creatures I have never understood why these things would happen like this. Sure, maybe in the past they would hide, but in the modern day? Why?

I do like the characterization that we have already seen for Alin. He is shy and dubs himself as creepy (not his words, but it is obvious that he agrees with them.) I believe that at the end you were also hinting to him having psychic powers, trying to freak Amelia out by sending her 'silent' messages. That's pretty cool, and I hope to see you grow on it further!

Amelia is a character that has a lot of room to grow. Seeing that this is a romance fic, I am sure that she will end up siding with the vampires and their rights or whatever-or maybe her lady boner is just stronger than steel-and I'm excited to see the relationship between her and Alfred. I haven't read much fem! character fics, and I don't know if their personalities are supposed to be different (obviously they should be. There are admitably a lot of differences between genders), but I'm sure, since you have both the cannon and the fem, you will be putting a spin on the characteristics.

Part of me almost wished that you would have made Amelia's bestfriend Arthur, instead of Alice. Like, not in a love-triangle sort of way, but just in a boys-and-girls-CAN-just-be-friends sort of way. Idk, just my thought.

Anyway, I will be continuing, of course, and am thrilled to see this ending that everyone is cooing (or confused) over.

I'm rather confused by the ending what is exactly happening

Bye bitch! No one will miss you (I'm talking about Lilly haha). I'm glad Alin was able to find someone to relieve his loneliness. Lord knows that he needed someone to be there for him. Also, cool back story with the Vargases. This was a really neat story to read. Thank you for writing it :)
-Ella

Okay that ended better than I expected. It's so cute that you made them stay together in the end and, seeing as her life was before, I don't think Amelia really minded the change (even with the gruesome parts). Well, now poor Alin will have to deal with her... forever... hahaha.

Rofl oh god, you had to place that ending bit. Actually, Alin, if it was anything like Twilight, Amelia would be pregnant with a vampire-human hybrid with a side of may or may not be pedowolf as your future son-in-law. So... you might not want the Twilight treatment to your happy love life rofl

Anyways, loved the ending to this. I would definetly call this the Anti Twilight vampire story. I can just imagine if Alin was to meet Edward.

Alin: So yeah, how my girlfriend and I met and fell in love is that I was her uncle's play thing to get blood, while she knew nothing about it. There were these two vampire siblings that were after her to get to me, succeeded in capturing, killing and making her into a vampire, which really sucked, and we ran away together to Rome. So, how did you and your wife meet, fall in love and she changed to a vampire.

Edward: ... We met in high school and I was thirsty for her.

Alin: Uh... isn't that kinda sick? Like falling in love with a piece of chicken, because while I did fall for Amelia, I never thought about drinking her blood really.

Edward: Then, to protect her, I broke up with her and didn't come back for over a year...

Alin: And you left her out in the open for other vampires! Good job, dude! Very professional!

Edward: Then, I came back and had to deal with a love triangle, since she kinda fell for her wolf friend, while I was gone.

Alin: Gee, I wonder why? Bodyguard 1 ditched me, so I will go for the next best thing. This is why I never ditched Amelia. She'd be left unprotected and she'd depend on Arthur and fall for him in a snap. Love triangle with a sorcerer with more issues than me? NO THANKS!

Edward: Then, we got married and got her pregnant with a vampire-human child hybrid.

Alin: Right after the love triangle bit, which wouldn't have happened if you hadn't ditched her!? This guy must be a fucking Saint, because if it were Arthur -while I'm comparing him to Jacob Black right now- he'd have burned me alive before I pulled that shit. Then again, Amelia sounds more like a Team Jacob kinda gal, since she goes for shirtless men like Magic Mike, so she'd most likely never get back with me anyways and go for shirtless bodyguard.

Amelia: DON'T JUDGE ME!

Edward: It's fine. It was solved, because Jacob imprinted on our child, so he will soon fall for her.

Alin: Oh god no! On second thought, I think I like my ending just the way it is.

Sorry -not sorry- I had to add that. I see Alin being very critical like that when watching Twilight. Man, I wish there was an Alin and Amelia Science Theater version of Twilight Lolz Anyways, as I said, love the story and enjoyed it XD

I was gone for some days and there were two updates!
So... yeah, poor Amelia, though I do think that Alin still got the shorter end of the stick. I'm most curious about what will happen, cute characters being mean and spiting orders around looks interesting. Hope for the best!

Oh shit. Ohhhhh shiiiiiiit.
God, where to start with this chapter? Dr Jones is dead. The Zwinglis escaped. Amelia's going to turn into a Vampire and possibly attack Alin. Well, that all escalated quickly. I suppose I'll have to wait here in terrified anticipation for the next chapter where we can see what happens. I guess you must be getting close-ish to the end now?