The suspense in the beginning part of the chapter was nicely evened out, meaning it wasn't too slow or too fast; just right enough for the readers to understand and want to know more about what's happening.

Wish the magic woman had more of a description, sorta thought she was naked.

It's a bit difficult to tell from the transition from one scene to the next as it was a little confusing here.

It seems like everytime up to this point that the Ice Crew are mentioned, there is a mention about the "years" that have passed in between the last time they were seen in canon. Exactly how long was it from Drago's attempted takeover? Did the Ice Crew do any jail time? Have they physically changed in appearance? Why did Fist have 'Boulder' as a nickname?

At this point, Drago has stated that he wants to be seen by the Chans at the appropriate time and already has the Ice Crew and the injured magic woman in his sights but does he actually have a plan as for what his goal is yet? Is there any magical objects to find or anything he wants to gain to defeat the Chans once and for all?

In all, this chapter was good. Still a little curious as to Drago's physical changes as to him being much bigger and most likely stronger than his default appearance. Maybe his powers would have changed also? Still, great chapter.

Drago's characterization here was a well done all the way down to his way of speech. Here, it was nice to see how you described his surroundings almost in a way he would so the readers could feel what Drago is feeling.

Wish there was some sort of flashback or explanation as to what happened when Drago met his other family members in the void.

Okay, so Drago had physically matured some... I wonder if there is a clear explanation why...

Was a little confused reading the part about the Enforcers, but reading the parts about the "young men" and the "skateboards", you may have been referring to the Ice Crew.

In all, this chapter was a step up from the next one as there are less chunky paragraphs, the fact that this chapter seemed easier to be able to read and get through, and that there is more fluid descriptions here.

Alrighty.

The story has a promising start, but the biggest challenge reading it is all the chunky paragraphs. It would be a little easier for the audience to read if you could break it down some. For some parts like maybe the beginning would be appropriate for the bigger paragraphs, but for others, like the fight scene, shorter paragraphs would be a better fit.

Good use of backstory to explains what happened in the time following the ending of season 5 with the Chans.

It would be better if some scenes were drawn out, like the fight between Jackie and the masked robber he was battling.

Everyone is nicely in character and the story starts off as if nothing's changed between the Chans.

Wish the chapter had more detail, dialogue and explained the scenes a bit more so the viewers could read and get a better feel of being in the moment. You could really grab the reader by expanding more in your writing.

In all, this chapter was pretty good. Albeit a little rushed, pretty good.