Well, I'm awfully sorry to hear about that. Still take all the time you need.

Mmm... I'm some sad by the discontinuation, but fine too because will be redone, I hope with that change the story can be more enjoyable than before. I wish you good luck restarting the story.

this story has been discontinued, we may re-start it but that's unlikely, this story has become to chaotic for it's own good, Dothurnaax your advice is greatly appreciate if we re-write the story we will pace it and not rush through anything.

You desperately need to use punctuation. An entire paragraph should not be one sentence. Your work seems to have been put through a blender, as many words have no place being where they are. Many of the sentences in this book make little or no sense due to the word choice and placement. If you spend three hours writing a chapter, spend three days polishing it.

As for character development, using words such as "Ummm" or "Weeellll" as you have multiple times can be acceptable for characters like Glaive, but Spyro, Cynder, the Guardians, and Sehra should be written as a more serious, mature manner. Perhaps more of an aggressive personality in Sehra's case, given what she's been through. This means the childish "Uhmmm" should be few and far between for the teenagers, and non-existent for the Guardians.

You speed through everything. I understand you have an idea and you want it on paper, but you can't rush everything, ESPECIALLY critical moments to the plot line such as Sehra's sudden ability to morph or the entire concept of a morpher. Hell, that alone should have a large chunk of a chapter to its own. My personal advice? Get your ideas down on the page at whatever pace you wish, but once you reach the end of a chapter, go back, branch off of, and go into detail with every damn scene you create. Then go through chapter a third and final time, find and correct EVERY mistake; spelling, grammatical, punctuational, etc.

Lit fam

Thier is only born one purple dragon each 10 generation and that doesent change
cause their parent are a purple dragon

Welcome back you guy hope everything is going well so far for you two it been quite awhile since your last chapter but anyway onto the review. This chapter timetable is quite confusing for me from Glaive pov from him reading the note to him seeing both Spyro and Serha is kinda fast but I think I understand what going on overall so the only suggestion I have is to maybe add in the amount of time Glaive contemplate in his room before he heard the sound outside and head out of his room. Let me know if I miss read anything.

Yes! More chapters! just want to know what happens next!

Interesting chapters I hope Serha plans work and her troubles is over but something tell me it won't be that easy. So far so good only recommendation I have is to make each chapters length more constant since some chapter is 3k while some is 1k but everything else is great.

Wow that a extreme way to get rid of two of Malefor unwanted child that must have taken a great deal of energy off her hope she doesn't have to do something like that again anytime soon although just wondering but shouldn't she be able to heal a lot faster with a red crystal? Also it nice to see Serha and Glaive become mates so looking forward to it. Great chapters so far so keep them coming.

Hooo surprising! For your first lemon its not bad! Ive written entire craps!

It really depressing to see how Serha is treated by Malefor and what his reason is for that kind of treatment but having 4 child of Malefor doesn't sound very good at all. Good chapters so fars but the transition from Glaive talking with Sylvia then Serha fighting skeletons and finnally when Serha return to the temple and confront Sylvia is kinda hard to understand for me but I think that could be fix if you add in time to indicated when the event happen and how far apart like you did when Serha run away. If I misreads something let me know.

Well, even if Sylvia lost Glaive, she still has Ashter.

There is one problem that I see here: Malefor should be imprisoned within the Well of Souls during this time in the past. Thus, it should be impossible for him to take any physical form at that same time for Serha to be raped.

Hmm interesting twist to the story that will cause quite a lot of change to people who viewing Serha as friends and the journals doesn't even help either if Silvia open it. Great chapters although I think you get longer chapter if you guy slow down and stockpile idea then create one long chapters but whatever work for you guys.