This is one of the worst Magi stories I've had the displeasure of reading in this archive.

1. Characters are wildly OOC. I don't understand the constant theme of making Sinbad out to be this predatory rapist who abuses women, something that is strongly against his canon characterization. As an adult I could perhaps give it less criticism, but 16 year old Sinbad? Who's still a minor? That is very unlikely that he'd so something so atrocious. Not to mention, in situations like that Ja'far usually comes in and puts him in check. If your OC's not gonna have a backbone and stand up for herself, I'd at least expect Jafar to get on his ass and prevent him from doing anything stupid. But Jafar is barely even in this fic? He's more of a background character, and he's one of the main characters! This is a disservice. Jafar would not sit there and do nothing while Sinbad is clearly abusing this woman he supposedly 'loves'. Or anyone else for that matter, did you completely forget about Rurumu?

2. Not only is the rape thing bad, but the fact that your OC and Sinbad's relationship has not received any form of realistic development throughout the coarse of this story, from the first chapter to the last, makes it even worse. What am I supposed to gain from their relationship? What does it add to the story or character? It's the most stagnant part of this story, and its supposed to be the main focus I assume? It hasn't changed or developed at all, it's just Sinbad acts like a total abusive creep towards her while she passively reacts to it. If you had given them more realistic build up and a realistic reason for why Sinbad acts the way he does towards her (not excusing it, but explaining it)than maybe I can give the rape thing a slide, but it's more of a plot device if anything, actually your OC feels like more of a device rather than an actual three-dimensional character. She has no character or personality that makes me care or sympathize with her. Her story makes no sense and the whole 'Jenna and Ryuubee-which is clearly a rip off of kyuube from madoka magica- isn't really doing much for this story either. It's just a huge mess.

So you should really revise and think clearly on what direction you want to go with this story, and think of ways to make it make sense and have your characters likable and interesting (and with more realistic names! This is Magi, not some modern magical girl au) if you want readers to take it seriously. Also, read the manga and gain a better grasp on the characters actual plot (and add that to this story and not erase canon storylines to make your oc doing something irrelevant) and work on portraying them better. That's all I have to say

There are a few spelling errors but nothing to serious. You have received enough harsh reviews so I’ll just stick to my own critic points. I like how you added the dream where it shows the future. It gets people excited to read what will happen next. But don’t get too carried away with them, because it’ll be corny and spoil the readers interest. I also like how you made Ryubebe Sapphire’s personal history book it shows that she doesn’t know anything about this world so she’s learning. Jenna and Sieglolo were introduced to the story nicely and I’m excited to see how the characters will develop. I say, that you introduced your antagonist very nicely. And I like how you added that twist that the antagonist likes protagonist.

In this chapter you show how Sapphire is experienced in handling jobs and education. So it proves that she’s an adult in a teen’s body. What I see here is that Ryubebe is mainly focus on finding the other two girls and nothing else, this says something about his character. And it makes you question if he values Sapphire’s safety or not. But I can see that Ryubebe is reliable and comes when there is danger. But is clear to see that Ryubebe is holding back information.

Once again you have Sapphire questioning her life back home, and the friends and family she left behind. What really interests me is how you make Sapphire loyal to her diet, that makes her stand out. Now I get to meet the famous “Ryubebe” I read so much about in the reviews. I watched “Madoka Magica” and I must agree that he does remind me of Kyubey, and you made their meeting with all the right reactions. And yes Ryubebe does seem to be a nicer version of Kyubey and I hope he stays that way. I look forward to see how it plays out in Sapphire‘s life.

I like how you add a bit of the tv show “Outlander” into your story. Sapphire is in the same boat as Clare was in “Outlander”. She is in a unfamiliar place faced with unfamiliar people. She soon starts questioning her life back home and it makes me think that when/if she goes back home, she might change her life for the better (not that there’s anything wrong with her life) I also like that you didn’t make Sapphire fall for Sinbad’s charms at first. It proves that she has experience dealing with flirtatious men like Sinbad.

Intriguing prologue I might say, I read all the reviews for this story. Some were bad and others were good, but I want to read this for my self and make my own decision from this story. I’m more of a Fire Emblem fan, but I’ll see what this story has in story.j

Please keep Updating this amazing story :)

well I think you should do for chapter 12 is to have someone save Sapphire from Sinbad and if I Honest this story is turning dark a bit . :)

That if you still want trough PM.. yes.

OOC - is Out Of Character
OC - Out of Character

And for Adventures of Sinbad - Sinbad IS out of character, so is everybody else, BUT in the lesser degree.
Rumuru would have delivered Rumuru Chop at Sinbad long ago.
Sapphire just let Sinbad perv on her - she knew he was there she did nothing. She did not tell him to stop OR was even distressed about it much - or she would tell Rumuru OR tell Sinbad to stop. She did nothing.

Yes I'm aware that for some things to happen, characters can (or must) be a bit OC but try to show how that came how that OC thing happen.(and I know you are probably saying "How can I, I don't know HOW!" - I did that to myself, best advice I can give you: This is something you must discover by yourself, by writing more fanfic it is going to get better with practice - and constructive criticism (NOT FLAMES- those are not helpful) from beta/readers)

I do not dislike the last two chapters - its difficult to express it but I'll try (you can always PM me later if I blunder it and ask)
It just the characters did complete turn about that was a bit sudden - trough if you read those two chapters in vacuum the characterization - it makes sort of sense (but then when you read you cannot empathize with characters. Add that Sapphire has character development that is loop-sided, it is difficult to care for her.
Sometimes there is a spark there (a person) that its great BUT then she just disappears and then there is this cold/passive girl in her place.
I don't mind she is not OP (over powered) or physically strong but MOST of the time there is a ...lack of something - that something appears on couple of instances but then its gone. Its like trying to catch fire in the paper fence.

To OOC for younger Sinbad - older one, it is more possible when he is drunk. But still OC - one is molesting this is not molesting.

That said, Sinbad was out of character from beginning, since he meet Sapphire SO I suppose HE is in character for THIS story in that case this scene is not exactly a surprise.
(So decision was made that I'll disregard Sinbad I read about in Manga (and some of the fics), and look at this one as different person - as Sinbad from "Set your sailed for Adventure), who just happens to share the name and looks).

And it gets better ... focusing on the story itself. Oh that detective Sinbad, at the beginning of the chapter was entertaining. Ryubabe and Sapphire waking scene was beautifully done as well.

You know I'm starting to like this Dark very much Out of Charachter Sinbad more than Muu.

Great scene between Muu and Sapphire at the end trough.

Still passive heroine, Otherwise great chapter.
Muu writing the romantic letter - (good letter btv)
And Hello Judal you psycho!

That question: Is Sapphire gonna regret going to Parthevia?
I think yes...kilicks the Next button to find out.

That was good chapter ... now I only hope that Sapphire doesn't loose because of fear again.

Trough by that authors note that is exactly what happens.

Now this is more like it ... character growth for Sapphire.