Another late review... that's okay though, I can do this! I WILL catch up.

Wait, what's this? Josh going on trial and not Sanae? 0_o Well, I mean, yeah, he did try to destroy the UG, but... dang. For some reason I never considered that angle. Kudos for that!

Oh, and I love your Higher Plane mechanics that argue Joshua is still accountable even in his own realm. I always thought of the Composer as more of a steward than a king, if you get my drift. Also, I'm intrigued by this "Master". It sounds like a similar concept to the Patron in Hybrid. Maybe I'll learn more in AFiH? Man, I should really finish that...

Anyway, back to the story (man, CG is easily sidetracked).

"I didn't see a problem with it in the first place, Josh."
"Then you're as blind as you've ever been."
I love how I can see where both theses guys are coming from. Sanae's had a historical perspective of the case, he knows bumps happen along the way. Even something as big as the selfishness infecting Shibuya just seems like a part of life to him. To Josh, the "new guy" as it were, the problems are more evident and pressing. He sees that something is wrong and wants to do something about it. Shibuya /wasn't/ an ideal city, there /were/ problems, and there probably still will be. As long as there is free will, there will also be the option to choose wrong. It bugs Josh that the residents of his city don't always get it right, but... well, that's how its gonna be. Life is messy. If you want to get the absolute best, you have to be ready to slog through the worst. Facts of life, unfortunately. But VERY well portrayed here.

"The surplus statistics are not what I'm looking for"
...Perhaps you meant "superficial" statistics? Just a thought.

Speaking of history, I also really like the personal dynamic between Josh and Sanae here. They both have impressions of what the other should be like based on what they've both been through (which actually fits really well with one of our upcoming prompts). There's still the remnants of a friendship here, but things aren't like they were. Again, this just builds so much hype for AFiH.

"What is there to love? Humanity doesn't deserve mine"
Ooooh! Lvl. 3 prompt reversal! Nicely done, Eeevee!

It's really interesting to delve into Sanae's side of the story. Obviously, he has his own agenda going on, but we're not entirely sure what he's actually shooting for. Stating that this is all for Josh's sake rather than just Shibuya really makes me take a step back and look into what it's all supposed to mean. Good job with that, Eevee! I like it when you make me think.

Y'know... it pains me to say it, but I think Josh's got a point. There's a fine line between taking the spirit of the law over its letter and just going plain lawless. Maybe Sanae was shooting for good things, but that doesn't necessarily justify all his methods. Of course, the same could be said for Josh so... yeah, I guess they're even then.

Nice symbolism with the ending lines. I feel that the coffee stain acts as a great closing line because here's all the motivation and love Sanae's poured into Josh and even when it goes cold and you try to get rid of it, there's still gonna be something left. It's sad, but very well portrayed. Nice work, Eevee!

I'm running on mental fumes here, so I guess I'll wrap it up by saying I really liked this one. This is a conversation I can totally see happening, even if I didn't think about it until now. Nice work keeping both these guys in character and bringing up some interesting points on the whole post-game scenario.

Keep on rockin' Eevee!
-CG

Good job with Hanekoma and Joshua! I don't think I would be able to write them.

I would also lose my trust in someone if they tried to kill me, so Joshua's behavior makes sense to me.

You finished it within the deadline! I on the other hand...*looks away sheepishly*...I'm working on it.

Well, it was posted on Sunday, so it still counts! I'm glad you got to go to a con, and I hope you had tons of fun! Besides that point, stories are meant to be read, so you have accomplished what you have needed to do.

And, hey, the summary of your fic gave me the energy to finish up the paper I was stuck on so I could read this as a reward! I just... I love Yoshiya, and I love Sanae, and yes, gimme post game implications please-

Instead of rambling about your forum post, why don't I get to actually reviewing the fic, eh?

Ah! Very nice use of Jury Duty! Man, everyone came up with such cool ideas for this and I was there was my lame excuse, haha... Still, yes, very good. I enjoy playing a bit with the Higher Planes myself, so I'm interested to see your take as well! No Celestial form...the Yoshiya has lost his ability to shift to a higher frequency and is consequentially kicked out of the Higher Planes? Man, sounds like that guy could use a Muse to help him out...

"And right now was the [prime] time..."

Ouch, I see Yoshiya's still a bit bitter. Chin up! If Neku can change so can everyone else! Including you!

Ah, gotta love some serious Sanae. When that happens, you know that shit's going down.

I see you added lots of color descriptions this time around! I've been trying to add more into my own writing, so it's nice when they pop out and bring nice colorful images with them, right?

"...been easily accessible almost [three] years ago..." Numbers that can be described in one or two words ("three," "twenty-seven") are generally written out fully. Stuff that takes a bit more are then written in numerals ("101" vs "one-hundred-and-one," "362" vs "three-sixty-two"). Obviously there can be stylistic variations, but this is the rule of thumb to follow.

Hm, I notice a lot of ellipses in your dialogue. While helpful, I just read an interesting article that mentioned commas and dialogue tag placement can help show that hesitation in different ways. I haven't worked on this too much myself, but it's still something neat to think about!

Ahhh, you do such a good job with the conflict in this and showing the strains on their relationship! Plus Sanae has this guilt/fatherly vibe and it's really perfect. I know I'm biased towards these characters, but you really do them justice, Eevee!

"May not be as angsty as CG's..." you said. I think you did a fair well job of angst with this, my friend. Things are left on a broken note, and you really pulled at all my heartstrings. Ugh, I thought CG's piece captured my heart, but yours did as well...! Man, you guys did excellently this week, and all I could throw out there was some fluff... (sighs) Seriously, Eevee, you're doing excellently this summer; I continue to be nothing but impressed!

Hm, I assume this connects into your main stories, though. "Was Shibuya's fate ever really sealed?" indeed.

Oh, yes, you claimed all the prompts very well, too! I should really work more on those Classics, but they're getting a bit tricky to mix in properly.

Mmm, I can't think of anything else coherent to say. It's far past my bedtime, though, but reading this was worth it! Again, great job, Eevee, can't wait to see how you work with next week's prompts!

Cheers and such,
-Ai