As a sucker for anything adventure/fantasy (from literature to tabletops) related I can say I loved this, moreso when there's rouges/sneaking involved.

Despite being fandom blind I could follow the story without any issues and the characters left their impression from the get-go especially in the big picture of the setting as a whole (from what I've seen of it so far), which I suppose is a world full of crooked individuals going about their business.

The prose is clean and easy to follow which is something I appreciate greatly, moreso in comedic adventures like these.

I've never read Fafhrd and the Gray Mouse before but I definitely have their books in my to-buy list now.

Author's response to Richard B.:

Hi, Richard B., thank you so much for the review and your comment.

Regarding your question, according to BlockPlacer at WA and some additional research, it is possible to download stories on the FanFiction official app, which is available for iOS and Android devices. When reading the story, there should be a downwards pointing arrow on the bottom toolbar. Pressing this downloads the story into the device's memory, meaning it can be read through the app anytime, no matter whether you are connected to the internet or not. BlockPlacer added, “Presumably there is a way to retrieve the file from your device's memory outside the app, but I don't know about this.”

Hope this helps. If you decide to read more of my F&tGM stories, I hope you’ll let me know your thoughts about them, too. Thanks!

This is very impressive. I've read all the original FL stories and enjoyed this a lot. Is there any way I can get it (and the others) on my e-reader?

Wow, Sword and Sorcery! I've never heard of this fandom, before, which is a huge and obvious oversight on my part as I absolutely love the concept!

Firstly, I do apologise that this review took a bit of time - the story is quite long. However, the biggest problem I have with it is that it's not long enough! I truly did enjoy this read, and I loved the small bits of casual humour you insert, my favourite being the Farrah Fawcett reference XD Coming in after it is the transformed barbarian and his hilarious attempts at being a girl, Mouser's initial plans to pass himself as his niece and how that backfired, and Sheelba's reason for not paying for the spell (that last one is just gold).

The characters were extremely enjoyable, and this adventure was a fun read, but this is a con-crit review, so I'll be listing some suggestions to improve here. Don't take this to mean that I didn't like the story - I did! I loved it, in fact. But I do have ideas on how you can enhance it.

The first thing I would suggest is that you make this a two-parter. There is just so much to tell, and I think the story really would benefit if it had some more room to breathe. Just as an example, let's take the second scene where you say that they had a 'completed conversation about the deflated state of their money pouches'. I'd have loved to hear this conversation, and I think it would have helped set the mood and drive in the point that they need money, bad. I would have also liked to read about the actual robbery, as there was so much time devoted to its build up I was rather disappointed that I didn't get to see it, even if it was uneventful and smooth. Mouser gathering information was also something I was interested in reading more about, so I think if you had developed these scenes further instead of cutting or recapping them, it would make the story more engrossing and fleshed out.

Another possible issue is that at times the story seems to abruptly change point of view with no warning. This only comes up once or twice, and I don't really mind it to be honest, but it's generally considered good practice to stick to one head at a time. Most obvious example is the transformation scene, where the POV switches to Fafhrd for only a few lines at a time before returning to Mouser, and the paragraph of Fafhrd leaving the school, which I think you could have easily moved to the end of his night with Miss Prym.

This next bit is more of a nitpick. So, when the barbarian transforms, he becomes a woman, correct? Since the spell transforms his body... why doesn't it magically remove the beard? It's for a joke, I get that, but if he was gonna keep the beard they might as well have just dressed him up in drag, you know? With a spell, I thought the point was that the transformation is not permanent, so it would be okay to be a woman (and beardless) for a few days. Just kind of didn't make sense to me.

The last thing I'm going to comment on is a nitpick as well, and it's not really a problem but more of an observation. All throughout the story I kept wondering, 'How come a jeweller of all people lives in a tower and seems to be swimming in gold'? Jewellers are not exactly known to be exceptionally rich, or to only be accepting such high-profile clients that they need an appointment. This tower felt more appropriate to a merchant or a wizard, someone who might see the greater value in the gem and back out of the deal. I'm not really sure why the jeweller did this, other then he suddenly decided he likes it too much, I guess? Maybe, if you do decide to expand this story, you might consider going into his motivations and backstory a little bit, flesh him out some more, maybe through Mouser's research of him?

Other than the things I mentioned though, this story was super fun for me. I enjoy D&D and this felt very much like a small campaign someone might come up with, a funny adventure to steal a precious jewel and exploit your friends. I'm very glad you found a way to write Fafhrd into the story, at the beginning I thought it might be a solo Mouser adventure, but the two have such a great chemistry and a really cute buddy dynamic that I really enjoyed seeing them work together, and the ending was just hilarious, yet it made so much sense. I hope you write more of them, because I'd totally be on board for reading it!

Great job on this one, I loved it! :)

-Red

Ha! Well, it would certainly seem that my work does indeed stand on the shoulders of true giants. I’ve never known this fandom before, but the brief history you’ve provided of it in your introductory notes now has my attention. We’ll talk in further detail about this in the review, but overall, the atmosphere does fit a fantasy realm I would very much enjoy.

Characterization: Now, here I’m going to say something that may sound odd. On the whole, as reader, I found no character to really empathize with. Character feelings are not something you explore within this work. There’s a lot of good descriptions, and we’ll get to that in just a moment, but you really don’t explore how the characters feel about certain situations, and that may be because you are using a very distant third-person omniscient voice.

However, while this is the sort of thing that would warrant a bit of constructive criticism, because this is a style you have used consistently throughout the story, it is very clear to me that there is a purpose behind it. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that adding anything towards expressing how the characters feel would muddy up the really solid foundation you have here. It really is something that works for this genre, and I think it shows how well you have nailed down the high fantasy style.

That being said, that doesn’t mean I was totally unable to feel anything in this story. I found the whole thing rather humorous, which is what you were going for. Fafhrd having to go drag, Sheelba telling Mouser he could’ve come to them to have the disguise spell done, everything had a great wit and charm to it. Thus, I was able to enjoy seeing these characters and their interactions with each other.

Imagery: This is probably your strong suit, and I encourage you to keep at it. I don’t think there was a moment where you were unable to put a clear picture in my head. One of the best examples was explaining to the reader Sheelba. I rather liked the idea of Sheelba’s wandering hut. It reminds me a lot of the Castle of the Grail in Parzival, which it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if that was where the idea came from. I take that back, everything about Sheelba is fascinating. Sheelba reminds me a lot of Aetherborn, a species found in Magic: The Gathering. I mean, just the way you’ve described them, I can already picture them as the Contraband Kingpin (one of the cards).

Your descriptions are not long and lengthy paragraphs as so many writers (and I’m guilty of this too) are prone to do. They are interspersed within dialogue and action scenes, so it creates a rather well-designed balance. As I’ve always said before, worldbuilding either makes or breaks a story for me, and your introduction to me of this world really works. High fantasy is about getting the reader immersed in the world, and you’ve succeeded.

Flow: There’s nothing out of the ordinary I noticed here. You made a bold choice of beginning the story somewhere in the middle and then building what happened before right after that. Some writers are able to pull this off well, and others not so much. In this case, it worked as you set the scene for the challenge this was written for. It served two purposes. It introduces the reader to the plot that’s about to unfold, and like I said the challenge it’s written for. But, secondly, it sets up the reader for the twist down the road where we find that Mouser isn’t the one going back to school. I rather liked being surprised like that. Since there were no inconsistencies or any major moves for flow, there is unfortunately little I can say on the matter.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this, and like I said, you now have my attention about this fandom. I’ll look forward to reading more of it from you.

Best,
Zad

I'm delighted that someone is writing in this universe! I think you've captured the setting very well, and I love the two feuding wizards!

well, wizards kind of suck.

Opening: Pulled me right into the action. It immediately makes me curious about how and why he's in such a precarious position, and at the same time it gives a good introduction to the character. Judging by the fact that he manages to stay relatively calm throughout, I'm guessing he's used to being in challenging circumstances and definitely leans toward the adventurous side of life (completely fandom-blind, here…).

(Random side note: I adore Sheelba's wandering hut. I don't know if that's something already established in the fandom or a creation of your own, but either way you described it well and it made me smile. It felt very Hayao Miyazaki-esque, a sort of miniature Howl's Moving Castle.)

Plot: Very much a classic quest story - he's given a task, has to figure out how to complete it, and runs into all sorts of problems and interesting characters along the way. Turning Fafhrd into a woman was genius, and I loved the way you described that process, particularly the "Marvelous Manicure" spell.

Pacing: The story progressed at a good pace, but never felt rushed. There was no unnecessary padding or filler scenes - every scene felt natural and served to move the plot forward.

Writing: Very strong. It was heavily descriptive, but that suited the story, and I never felt lost in the description to the point of losing track of the plot. You managed to make it whimsical and funny while still keeping an air of suspense and danger, which can be a tricky balance to achieve. The style reminded me a bit of Patrick Rothfuss (which is a huge compliment, just in case you haven't read any of his work).

No major issues that I could find in terms of spelling or grammar, but I did notice one small thing - the way you described distances ((20-feet)). It's probably debatable as to whether the word should be spelled out or written in numerals (I prefer to spell it out for smaller numbers) but I do think the dash is unnecessary in this case. I believe the dash is only needed when it's used as an adjective immediately preceding the noun (e.g. "the 20-foot tower" vs. "the tower was 20 feet tall").

Characterization: I really enjoyed all of the characters, and the way you portrayed them brought them to life from the very first scene. Fafhrd is hilarious, but still clearly intelligent, and the Mouser balances him out nicely with a bit more of a serious side. Even the less prominent characters had very strong personalities and were immediately intriguing, especially the two wizards (and I'm still obsessed with Sheelba's hut, which was a character in itself!).

Ending: Completely satisfying and in character with the rest of the story. The epilogue was a nice touch - I think it would have felt incomplete without it.

Overall I really enjoyed this - great work!

Greetings. It's Theodore Hawkwood from Reverse Tag once again. I'll warn you I know practically nothing of Fafherd and the Grey Mouser.

Right, time for a review. As a warning I'm writing this as I read, so any seemingly contradictory items are a result of me finding things out as I read along.

First off I like the opening paragraph/lines. It's succinct yet it grabs my attention. Great in media res opening. Even a canon blind reader can tell that there's some form of drama that's about to happen or in progress of happening. I think it's quite an engaging first paragraph.

The first section does introduce us to what appears to be one of the titular characters, the Grey Mouser. It also introduces the sort of setting that this takes place in, clearly a fantasy setting or something similar given sorcery is involved, what with the magical protections on the window.

The second line of the second paragraph does a good and succinct job of contrasting the Grey Mouser and his evidently brutally strong comrade, Fafhrd. The term barbarian was very well used here in my opinion, so good word choice there.

A bit of a slice of life follows here in the second section, as somewhat mundanes, like Fafhrd working as a bouncer at a bar to get money for rent does show here. It does make me wonder how those two contrasting figures got to be friends, but I suppose reading further works of yours covering this fandom should explain it.

I like the ending of the second section because it raises a question as to whom this faceless fellow was. I guess that means read further.

The conversation with Sheeba (okay, faceless lady not fellow) sheds more light on the Gray Mouser. His agility, determination, and coordination means he's obviously quite a skilled thief. I do wonder what the significance of what Sheeba is paying him to get is. Something tells me it's more than just monetary value and thus connected to the first paragraph, I figured out what he was scaling up the wall for.

All in all a nicely written tale that introduced me to a fandom I know nothing about. I'd say it was still quite accessible to me (and not a single wikipedia trip needed to clarify things either). Great work.

Regards,

Theodore Hawkwood

Found this by accident, after reading one of your other stories and seeing F&GM in your profile. Pure serendipity! This was one of my favorite series, since so long ago I don't want to admit how long. I'd been thinking off and on for years about digging the books out and re-reading. Your story is a good reminder of what I liked best about F&GM- fun and funny adventures, strange and interesting characters, difficult situations worked through with aplomb and originality. Looking forward to reading the next story when it's complete.

Hi there!
I'm completely fandom blind, but I'll do my best.

Opening:
A good way to start the story. It introduces the main character, giving a few traits about him, and a situation involving him. The first paragraph works to throw the reader into the story, what with a man hanging from a window ledge; it makes me wonder how he’s found himself like that, what has driven him to that messy situation, and it immediately gets me interested in what’s going to happen next.

Characters:

Fafhrd: He seems to be the grumpy, vast man; and, when comparing him to the Mouser, the differences in their personalities are clear. I kind of imagine this character as someone who has little patience, and the detail about him holding a tankard of ale gives away very much of him without having to explain it with words. He’s also so fun to read about, especially when he’s excited about the trivial events happening in the School.

The Mouser: At first, he seems to be more refined and almost stony-like. Little details like him getting frustrated due to stepping into the muck builds up this character and also makes him realistic. I feel closer to him. He’s also smart, calculating and determined. I love reading about Fafhrd and him working as a team at the school. While Fafhrd is the muscle, the Gray Mouser is clearly the brains – yet he’s also capable to defend himself and is strong enough.

Sheelba: So far, I can say it’s the most mysterious character introduced. The way his physical traits are described works nicely to give he/she an aura of mystery that draws me in. They are a wizard, and that’s about it. I like that he remains faceless through all the story, as it keeps the intrigue onwards.

Plot:
Very, very interesting. The whole “stealing a gem” idea is great, and I loved reading every scene; from the Mouser plotting meticulously, to both of them sneaking into the Library. Even the short scene about Fafhrd “becoming” a teenager was brilliant! I love how every scene is connected to one another, and how they all are important and necessary to the success of the Mouser’s plan.

Ending: Loved it. It’s written from a different perspective, as it shows the man who’s been robed finding out about the disappearance of the gem. It’s a great way to end the story, and the line, “He decided to never deal with wizards again” had me laughing.

The story flows nicely throughout the scenes, with its detailed descriptions and all. It’s very easy to picture oneself in every of the sceneries described, and the characters are well portrayed.

All in all, great job!

Red

Hi, VST! Fandom blind, but I guess that won't be a problem. :)

Opening
Starting in medias res always works well as a hook. Especially when we have our main character, Mouser, in action. He's hanging by a window ledge of a really tall building. What can be better than starting at that point! :D

Plot
It immediately reminds me of something game-like. Our protagonist is being sent out for a quest... And all the fantasy elements just add to it. But things are very interesting, especially when Mouser has to find a way to get Fafhrd into Miss Prym's school. Usually, it can be tricky when handling gender change (but it's just a disguise here heh) plot, but this is just pulled off very well. Love Mouser's and Fafhrd's reactions to Fafhrd's change to 'Fafrah'. Mouser is amused (and so am I), but Fafhrd is shocked. XD Then all the things with trying to cover up the disguise are just clever and funny.

Characters
Each characters have their own quirks, which make everyone stand out and interesting. :D
Fafhrd is a barbarian. Well, he is clearly masculine, like the moment he drinks ale and the way he talks. But then, he has some cute moments. Like how he's so interested in dancing. But even though he's big, he's pretty smart. I like how he manages to keep his disguise unknown to Miss Prym until the end. Hilarious!
Mouser is the cool, calm, and clever type. He sure is highly capable of doing his job, as shown in the ending. But well, he does make mistake from time to time. Like how he's charged much, much more by Ningauble and how his bumbling causes 'Fafrah' to revert to Fafhrd.
Miss Prym is definitely a teacher with high moral standards. Well, she is serious about keeping the school's reputation up. Then the curfew. She always keeps everybody in check. However, there's a streak of kindness in her. At least, she decides to explain the dancing moves to Fafhrd (and very nice tension at that part; I thought Fafhrd's disguise couldn't get past her at that point heh).
And I like how Fafhrd ends up with Miss Prym. Sweetness aside, this just fits, considering Fafhrd's barbarian and Miss Prym's amazonian stature.

Writing
The descriptions. Totally immerse me. During the action, there's the adrenaline (like the opening). And all the magic stuff like Sheelba's magic home and how Fafhrd becomes Fafrah. Easy to picture and immerse me here.
The character description is particularly impressive. It's definitely not list-like, so it ends up very easy to get a picture of how the characters look like. There's the good ol' unkempt barbarian Fafhrd. Then there's the little thief Mouser, the shrouded-in-mystery kind of wizards Sheelba and Ningauble (love the bits about the lights behind the latter's shroud; I think they're his eyes heh), and the amazonian woman Miss Prym.
The only thing, though, I think some numbers are better spelled out (like 30 and 90 feet). But I'm not sure about this.

Ending
Satisfying! Everything is resolved. Fafhrd gets together with Miss Prym and manages to keep 'Fafrah' as a mystery. Mouser completes Sheelba's deal with Kralor in an amazing way. How he does it is magical, and that just terrifies Kralor LOL!

Well done!

Hi there, arrived for a more structured review then my usual. Here goes:

Opening – I didn’t specify this in my RT offer, but I had to add it in. The first sentence drew me right in. Wow, there’s some action. Immediately I’m wondering who is this man, why is he on the window ledge and what kind of jolt would put him there? Just one sentence in and I’m already full of questions.
Characterization – First I will say I am 150% fandom blind here, never even having heard of this fandom. So this will be fun. Oh, so this man grew up on the streets? That’s interesting. And then he got trained in a wizarding school. Who doesn’t want to do that? Great characterization with Lankmar, who is quite a contrast to the Gray Mouser. You have their physical differences and even differences in drinking style with the larger, giant Lankmar drinking ale, and Mouser sipping wine. But also their shared troubles as well. The whole adventure getting to Sheelba’s hut showed me a lot about Mouser. How capable he was, but also that this wasn’t an entirely pleasant experience for him. Sheelba’s description was really interesting. The fact that I couldn’t imagine what a “blank field” looked like was an effective way to add mystery. Everything about him seemed vague and wonderous. With the magical world this is set in, adding in very realistic details, like Mouser paying the overdue rent was a great way to ground the story in some realism. Mouser is clearly intelligent and it was interesting seeing him scout the place.

World Building and Immersion - Great use of sound and touch to immerse us in the opening scene. And then we get messages delivered by bird, which reminds me very much of my own fandom. Wow, I loved reading about Sheelba’s home in the swamp. Especially the line “wander around the swmapon its five spindly poles”. That is awesome. The whole act of getting to the hut felt very real and vivid, with the whole getting their feet wet thing and all.

Dialogue and Flow – It’s a little difficult to review the dialogue and flow since there really isn’t any dialogue to speak of. It’s more of a summarized dialogue. But compared to my previous review, I will say this story worked much better in that way. It would have been interesting to actually hear the dialogue from Sheelba. That would be a great addition and would add more characterization then just hearing their discussion summarized. But I understand if that doesn’t fit into this story. It wasn’t problematic.
Well, I said that before I got to the ending part, but I will leave my comments above because they are still relevant to the opening. The dialogue with Miss Prym was fun. You could see Mouser thinking on his feet. It also revealed a little about the world itself, that there were strong beliefs about boys and girls being schooled separately. The spell scene was pretty funny. Wow Fafhrd is a good friend! And he kind of went over and beyond for his task too, practicing his moves. But I guess it paid off in the end. Never saw that ending coming at all!

This was a fun story. I didn’t have any difficulty following despite my fandom blindness. The characterization was really strong for all of the main characters. Thanks for the pleasure!

Hello VStar Traveller,
Sky here. Congratulations on completing the 4th one and thanks much for some information such as reminding the readers that this is way back in 1930s and 1980s. Be warn: ever since I was in school, reading fantasy is not my strong suite and I usually get confuse with long names. So, bear with me. I will not comment on grammar here. I will leave it to the experts.

This is a great story telling. It is a unique form of writing and a strong challenge to be writing it in the olden days. I like to applaud you on that. It really is not easy. Feel free to correct me, but, are the long names such as Fafhrd and The Grey Mouser are the actual names in the book or your OC? I thought to point out. It was actually a tough one for me to follow. It had been 10 years since I touch a fantasy book or longer. My mind is still set in the technology days in the 21st century era.

You certainly met the brief for the challenge. There's no qualms on that, my friend! You got a sense of humour in your writing as well with developing the characters to make the readers like them. If I am to understand, VStar, buddy, that Fafhred, never attended education because he was a thief or spent his days with the wizard or adventure? Fill me in on that. My second guess will be his age; given his new disguise and using his poor barbarian friend to go on education. That part made me laugh. Good job on thwt sense of humour.

However, I thought earlier in the story, and I understand you wrote it in a rush that the description on the 3rd section, after about the two boys having to pay the late rent, the description on the towers got me dizzy, I'm sorry to say. But, that is because of my poor fandom blindless which I hate cause I can't judge that much base on my limited knowledge on the fandom which is zero. I wish the description is shorter. Brief. I thought even I felt Mouser feel dizzy looking through his way to the Prym School.

On a side note, I like how you end almost making his disguise friend almost being caught out of his identity. Another great sense of humour. I tell you, my heart did skip a beat on that. Cause, I didn't expect him to almost get caught. I like his ranting, poor excuse about his uncle being upset if he/she fails.

Overall, this was a nice journey to read and feel the world. Thanks for reminding us readers to journey through the olden scholar and back in the 1930s generation. As I said before, a unique writing. You sure do have a vast amount of ideas snowballed on this! Keep at it.

I hope my review helps, VStar. Good job for writing a very long challenge! xx
Love, Sky

Hey, VST! I'm back, in a limited sort of way, and I thought I'd check out what's been going on with the Promptapalooza. :) I'm totally fandom blind, but you're beginning to convince me that I need to check these books out, because this setting seems really fascinating. You've done a fantastic job creating a world that feels deeply steeped in fantasy and draws me in.

I like how you get us started in medias res and then backtrack to tell us how we got there. It serves as a great hook, especially considering the tension of the opening, the cause of which we can't even guess at (or I couldn't, anyway). It also tells us that the main character is really athletic and, as you put it, "lithe," since he was able to catch himself at that speed and then, while hanging in midair, collect himself enough to find grips in the wall and climb down. It makes me wonder if "Mouser" might have behind it the idea of a cat; the name is certainly intriguing.

I wouldn't start the next section with "Earlier" if you're also going to put in the narrative note: "His journey up and subsequently back down the side of the tower, and the following visit to the entry of the Prym School, was instigated about a week earlier." Usually you would only use that kind of tag if you're going to jump straight into the previous scene.

I love the way you handle description and filling the reader in on possibly unfamiliar details, such as the fact that Fafhrd is a "nearly seven-foot-tall giant." You handle all of it very deftly, and the fantasy-type narrative voice you use makes it feel natural, not forced or like an info-dump.

There were two places where you said "sometimes" where I believe you meant "sometime," as in "past," though I could be wrong about that. Here they are:
- "the sigil of his sometimes wizardly mentor and occasional employer." (As is, it seems to be suggesting that he's only sometimes wizardly.)
- "Fafhrd's some-times adviser, Ningauble of the Seven Eyes" (This one might make more sense as is than the other, though why is "sometimes" hyphenated?)

The image of the house moving around "like a gangly, top-heavy spider" was really amusing, especially once he realized it had been following him all along and then again when he got mad because it would have been easy for the house to pick him up at the edge of the swamp. It made me think of Baba Yaga's house in the Sisters Grimm series, only way cooler. :D

Wow, I'm impressed with your clear mental picture of the tower, with all the detail in which you describe it. I'm never able to picture a fantasy place in quite that much detail. The highly precise numerical details reveal the Mouser as an experienced thief, as he is able to make these assessments quickly and knows their value to him. Well done setting the scene and simultaneously working on characterization.

I believe there's a typo here: "so he can collect his reward and go spend some money!" I believe this ought to be in past tense.

Haha! Miss Prym isn't easy to put one over on, is she? :D I'm enjoying your characterization of her, how she doesn't look like your standard fantasy school mistress, how she's very uptight about morality and reputation, and especially that she seems to know how to recognize when something suspicious might be going on and thwart it.

Oh, my. Oh, my. Just...no. Hahahaha! Nice foreshadowing with the phrase, "You're going to need to lose that beard." I was NOT expecting that development. Oh, this is going to be hilarious. :D

Fafrah's willing participation in the scheme was even funnier than the sullenness I was expecting. I love how Ningauble made him feminine while he still retained some elements of masculinity, and he found a way to get away with still having a bit of a beard. I also enjoyed his interest in the tall Miss Prym and her gentle patience with his excuses about practicing. This was weird but super cute: "Fafrah, a larger woman must sometimes make minor adjustments to make moves smoother and less awkward-looking." You know that SHE must know that from personal experience, and it makes you almost feel bad that she's not actually sharing it with a real girl who really needs help with it, because she's really so kind.

Another typo: "With a thin cord around the stone, he pulled it back into position, and then pulled one end of the cord so that is slipped through." That "is" should be "it."

I like how you tied it all up. I was amused by the "lesson" Sheelba decided to teach them and by the fact that the Mouser later considered it worth it since Fafhrd had gotten together with Miss Prym. And I especially liked that the Mouser hadn't just stolen the gem but had simply executed the deal without Kralor's consent. It made the ending much more satisfying, and in the end it shows just how brilliant the Mouser is because he attributes it to the wizard "mak[ing] something disappear from his locked chest," so clearly the Mouser was so good it looked like magic.

All around, this was a fun, satisfying, and extremely well-written story. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work! :)