Omg. Please please come back and update this awesome story soon

Please update

Jesus Christ it always annoys me how you fanfiction wiriters present the gods. No matter how powerful a Demi god gets they can’t surpass a divine being. Hell the only reason why percy can barely contend with titans and minor gods is cause they can’t use all their power when fighting a Demi god they have to limit what they can do cause ancient laws. Do you seriously think that if percy ever fought a god or any equivalent he’d stand a chance.

HER blessed race.

I don’t believe percy would be ok with leaving Harry at privet drive. Especially as there is no good reason for it. None. Since this percy is now proven disloyal, it’s not a percy I’m interested in reading.

Hi! I’m Jolly and I’m typing this via mobile so sorry if I make any mistakes and miss them. TL:DR at the end as I slightly ranted...

Despite some grammar errors here and there, I’ve been able to read through your story with little fuss. In fact, you’ve done a great job reasoning out many aspects of the original HP storyline and either pointing out decisions that were logical and appropriate or explain how some seemed strange or just plain wrong. And so I didn’t feel any need to review before now, especially since I don’t tend to review until I feel I have something useful to say.

Which brings me to your explanation at the end of chapter 13 (or 12, if going by the chapter title) about why Percy is standing out. You say that the Ministry would find it strange that a foreigner would know more about fifth year students in potions when he’s supposed to be there to take classes to take the O.W.L.S. so he can get a better job. The problem is that you’re forgetting why he had to take them. It wasn’t because he doesn’t know his material and needs to take classes, it’s because Dumbledore wants him in Hogwarts. Percy is 20 in this story, as Snape himself points out, mainly to excuse himself from needing to compliment Percy’s achievement. In saying that, Snape explains how Percy can get away with being good at Potions. He’s 20! Just because he didn’t go for traditional schooling doesn’t mean he doesn’t know his stuff, and bringing up that he’s a foreigner kind of comes across as bigoted because it implies that the education a British fifth year gets is superior to the level of education and knowledge a foreigner at 20 years of age has received.

Him being good doesn’t make him stand out, him being an adult does. If asked about why he’s so good at fifth year potions, he can simply explain that he’s been home-schooled past seventh year education for most if not all the classes offered at Hogwarts, as he’s 20 years old and past the age for receiving that education. And so he is simply taking fifth year formal classes as a precautionary refresher to take the British Magical Ministry’s exams as they are a requirement for applying for a job in Magical Britain. And so like Snape says, his age takes away from how amazing his potion quality was as being an adult implies he has learned this in the past and so is familiar with it, not necessarily a potion genius. Now if he out performs even seventh year students and makes up potions on the spot, then he’d be drawing attention as having Os in even N.E.W.T. level potions doesn’t mean you’ve become a potions prodigy.

And also, if we see him drop in quality when it comes to his classes, it’d be strange because he’s an adult. This might be his first day, but at least a whole year of Hufflepuff students has seen what he can do, and heard how he’s familiar and knowledgeable about the subject. In that same regard, they’ve heard a sound explanation for it, both from Percy and Snape. If Percy starts fucking up after this, it’ll be strange. As for all the students he hasn’t interacted with in this manner, he can stand out as being an incompetent adult who’s worse than a fifth year at fifth year subjects. He’d become almost invisible if he’s good at subjects (not amazing, just good) and the professors don’t pay too much attention and that’s explained as he’s here more to refresh his knowledge than really learn, then if he was bad and professors had to give him more attention or ignore him because they know his skill level and know it’s a ruse. Plus it’d be an explanation for why he’d use advanced spells while performing his tasks as Gamekeeper, also giving him freedom to use spells to make his job easier.

TL:DR Basiclaly just let Percy continue to be good at the subjects, maybe even the best, as long as you stick to the practical side of things. That way you can explain that he’s there to refresh himself on the theoretical side of these subjects to better pass the written exams. That would also explain why he’s the Gamekeeper and Keeper of Keys and yet not the Care of Magical Creatures professor even though Hagrid did all three. Dumbledore gave a talented individual a chance to retake classes to take exams while simultaneously giving him a job that doesn’t require exam scores as he knows Percy is a capable wizard despite the lack of British exam scores (yes, the British distinction is important).

If I didn’t explain myself well and you actually care about what I said, I’m always open to PMs. Then again, you probably don’t care and want to continue your story as is, and that’s fine too. I could just be being nit picky and thinking this through too much. It’s honestly one of the reasons I take so long when writing my own works as I overthink what makes things realistic and do too much research for what is essentially free FanFiction.

Anyway, I like your story, and if you choose to continue it in the future, I’ll be waiting to read it. Whether or not I review again can’t be promised though.

-Jolly

You do know that British people don't just drink tea we do drink coffee aswell

Pls don’t break my heart...

why would 4th years be seeing Percy considering that the O.W.L.s are 5th year

good concept
but since when did Percy become such a boot licker?

since when are people afraid of saying "Tom"?

Your story is really considerate and justified for character and original works. I am eager to watch how it unfold.

Please update and I hope that you will consider pairing Percy and Harry together for this story because I think these two would work very good with each other

Loved it hope you update soon.

Well Severus isn’t wrong here but chance to actually have great school experience should not be denied to Percy. I am glad a harry is acknowledging his faults and owing up to his mistakes and failures; slow steps though.