Pity, that an OC is being used, especially if he is not minor or temporary.

You changed Sienna Khan to male?

“Jesus”? I do not he is relevant in this story. I also do not care for using “Oum” either.

I hope this is not a Lelouch x Blake story.

It is disappointing that you have Lelouch using a scythe, a bit OOC.

Hey! Ruby is not flat! She has more chest than Weiss!

I just want to know why authors tend to put (play XYZ SONG) in their stories, really just curious why.

This chapter was amazing! This story is so amazing! I love it so much! It’s become one of my favorites!

There are some things you got wrong here. Sienna Khan is female.

Quite good, however I have one complain for this novel: Too many POV.

Dude, this is crossover fic of RWBYxCode Geass, I and many readers here surely read this to watch Lelouch wreck havoc in Remnant.

That's why please for god sake just focus on Lelouch!

If I want to watch RWBY or JNPR team in action I will just watch the canon.

Why the hell you made this novel as if there are multiple protagonist?!

Lelouch is the only protagonist for me in this novel, all other irrelevant POV usually I skip, since I'm not interested on them.

Worse is Jaune's presence that sometime on par with Lelouch in term of spotlight.

He is just a weakling. Honestly I prefer that you remove Jaune in the first place and made Lelouch replace him like some of the RWBY crossover out there.

you know Sienna Khan is female right?

He’s so fucking edgy. Completely and utterly uncalled for when he blew up on Weiss. Didn’t even bother looking at her perspective and was discriminating just because she’s a Schnee. Talk about being a major hypocrite.

“Hn” it’s official, rouge could pass as an Uchiha.

I’m only 2 chapters in and I’m trying to give this a chance but every other paragraph tells me that this story isn’t very unique. I have some points that could definitely help make this story better.

Lelouch (or Rouge) being Ruby’s sister is an okay concept, it puts her in the Nunnally slot that he needs. It’s his reason for wanting a better world and having her possibly an antagonist of his (I’m only 2 chapters in so I’m only guessing) is a good idea. But that all falls apart when you realize the original reason Lelouch created the Black Knights.

He wanted to find his mothers murderers, uncover the conspiracy, and get revenge on his father while tearing down the oppressive regime he was born kicked from. While his half-siblings benefited from it he had to be thrown down to the commoners and left for dead. None of Remnants governments (save possibly Atlas) match this morally-corrupt regime that controls 1/3rd of the world. Another story that made a world that was inherently not evil was “Element of Freedom” by ZGW (A Code GeassLegend of Korra x-over). The government of Republic City was corrupted, had crooked cops, a secret faction behind some of its politicians, and had cruel punishment for its criminals. It provided a back drop for actual revolution because oppressed people actually felt oppressed. The White Fang would be a good fit but it would t work because they are already in open rebellion.

Rouge’s motivations suck and not very interesting, seeing as Ruby can very much protect herself. Also as a side nitpick, making Rouges weapon a scythe like Ruby robs both of them of their uniqueness. Even Qrow’s scythe is unique as it can turn into a broadsword(/Falchion?). Canon Lelouch doesn’t fight directly he has tools that supplement him like his KMF, his Geass, or a simple pistol. Where as other characters could very much fight hand to hand like Suzaku and Kallen, Lelouch is a little detached from the killing so it’s more like pressing a button to kill people.

Did I mention that Rouge is just an asshole? He feels like a self-insert with a bad idea what philosophical Cynicism is. Lelouch knew how to be friendly and have friends, and sure it does look like that Rouge has friends from his (very brief) phone call but with his interactions with Weiss he just doesn’t come off as anything but a dick-like him smirking at pissing Weiss off, as if he’s sticking it to her.

So a recap: The world doesn’t justify a revolution, Rouge doesn’t have the necessary motivations, he also lacks characterization that separates him from Ruby, and he is an asshole.

Could this possibly change? Surely, I’m only 2 chapters in but it’s telling of what is to come. Please don’t take this as an insult, it’s purely a critique. Ultimately you can decide whether to listen to it or not and change your views on your stories next parts (seeing as this Act is currently complete).

Lelouch, the mega siscon in Remnant?

Hmm.

LOL