This story had potential. But it was, unfortunately, a bit of a mess. Every aspect of it felt rushed. The overarching story, the writing itself, the characters... You kind of just stated things, have next to no detail or explanation, and then moved on. The fight scenes were quick and bland, the characters received little no no development before being abruptly offed...

I feel like you have the ability to do better as a writer in terms of quality, but simply didn’t want to put time and effort into it. A real shame.

I mean, the Evil Pieces are a thing. So no, people don’t always die when they’re killed - at least they don’t stay dead. Seems pretty unfortunate for Illya and Chloe to stay dead after having next to no development of their characters and their relationship with Shirou.

The pacing feels extremely abrupt. The prose compounds this issue due to a lack of detail and exposition. It almost feels as though I’m reading bullet points describing things in a brief manner.

It’s a bit jarring, but otherwise I have no real complaints. I can only assume the Grail War and Fate side of things are not your focus.

I Think With Ravel's Current Skill/Abilities/Power She Can't Match Up With A Servant I Mean She Lack Speed,Strength and Etc.

This was downright an amazing read. Thank you for writing your fanfic till the end and thanks for being an amazing author

going to be the death of him? wow you dont know when to use that phrase

Honestly, with how practically Warhammer 40,000 over-the-top OP everything in Nasuverse is, I'm surprised the supernatural of the DxD universe still exist. To say nothing of how Alaya would approach the factions and such there (i.e. erase their existence) or Gaia (also erase their existence).

how many times do bad guys say that only to fail in the end?

but u forgot ab the effect of evil pieces to be able to rez the dead cuz the dead dont always stay dead in dxd verse

God DAMNIT. I'm out. Sorry. You write very well, but you made Shirou weak, AND he surrendered immediately to become a devil.

I think it's interesting that this Shirou's independent streak protects him from making a deal to "save" his sisters.

Good stuff.

I don't know which direction this is going to go, but I wonder if Avalon could protect someone from being forced into a devil.

So after spending basically a decade trying to find a way to save his sisters, as soon as he gets to be with them they get fatally injured, and he forgets Ravel gave him two vials of Phoenix Tears? Ones that I don't recall being mentioned as having being used previously, and that he most likely would have carried around with him everywhere he goes? Sure, Illya's and Chloe's injuries weren't only physical so the Phoenix Tears might not have done much but he still didn't even try to use them!

30 miles per hour is equal to 44 feet per second. In order for it to take 2 seconds for said weapon to impact there would have to be 88 feet between them. If you cant dodge a thin striaght line projectile travelling 30 miles per hour given 2 seconds then your must have been hit by at least 2 gandr or be paralized from the neck down. Baseball players strike balls going twice that speed out of the air with a bat easily. Also, what basement has enough room for two combatants to be 88 feet away from eachother but completely uninvolved with the fights going on around them? Is it an underground football stadium?

Why was there a portal to Akasha? If he had to use Excalibur to kill Angra Mainyu, what was the point of closing the portal? Why does he only barely have enough prana to use Excalibur? That would put him at only slightly more prana than Heavens Feel Shirou who can only use two of his degraded circuits. Why are you killing everyone off? What was the point in making him more powerful and giving him generic Shonen ideals if you were just going to kill all the people he cares about anyway?