I think you need a beta reader to fix the of the grammar issues, other wise, maybe break up the paragraphs a bit and slow down.

I don't know if its me but you seem to be going a little fast, maybe show more of the reactions to the things he does, slow it down a little, maybe not so many stops in the paragraphs and show his thoughts during convocations and other things like that.

other wise I'm loving this story so far, the idea has a lot of promise.

maybe read some of the popular fanfictions on here and see how they write their story's.

I love this story please continue I didn't feel like logging in but I write under the name I put this review under if you want to check them out

Awesome start y hop to see more dream soon

2nd chapter most of yourwho'sare "how's"

We need more!

Lol Harry hahaha I love it

YASSSSS KATANA WOOOOOOO I'm kinda obsessed with katanas
Lol Harry

Nice work. Good cliffhanger. And amazing 'Fablehaven, reference. Update soon and keep up the good work.

This story is really well written and the idea of Harry as a bounty hunter for hell is really cool. Keep writing because I'd love to continue reading this

I quite enjoyed reading this story. Keep up the goodwwork.