Either take or give a point!

This chapter does assuage some worries for me but sorry man, while your writing style is good and paints the picture of what you are trying to write, your OC is way too ... Childish (I couldn't find a better word) for me to continue.

I won't be following this story anymore but I wish you best of luck for the story.

slap yourself if you didn't see the future thing with talisa coming.

You mean to tell me that this OC killed his own brother in a war for city that he has migrated to not more then a couple months ago?

Are you kidding me!

Your OC was not very likeable from the start but was, at least, tolerable. But the way he handled his son was immature at best and then this chapter came along.

The OC killed his own brother, who is a crippled S-RANK while your OC is C/B-rank at best, for a city and a war that he has little investment in.

Too much Gary-stu and baselessness for me. I would have followed before this chapter but I can't after this idiocy. Sorry, I just can't.

this made me mist my eyes a bit and with hans zimmer in the background it went to crying, thanks for evoking such emotions from me. you did awesome

Sad turn of events, though it does go to show his loyalty to his new home... With his strength and charisma, this event probably is what ends up pushing him towards being the human faction leader. Kinda curious as to what Ruto's reaction would be if he used observe on him again, cause I'm pretty sure he would have done that during their first meeting.

I will say that there were a lot of parts in the story that seemed to be cut off, sentences that didn't have an actual end.

As for the end of the chapter info? I say keep it unless you don't have anything to put down. A little background info is always fun to read in my opinion.

Please let his idiotic personality disappear soon! A silly situation or two can be funny, but when they happen back to back to back it can become seriously annoying. This story hasn't been labeled as a parody after all, or with the humor tag.

surprised you didn't give him a Kin Slayer Perk.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! this is good!

i am surprised you didn't ask Akallas Von Aerok to give you a promotion so people would come see your story.

or that he didn't say other people have stories going based of his...WAIT nvm i remember now you showed up in a Omake thats why i don't remember it.

Well, you know me and I know you. You have my answer in the pm.

Good chapter, though.

I would like for some comical cameo from the smallchiefs either embarrasing himself or both

excellent battle

Very good.

great chapter