Sorry about that - I, too have computer issues -

The site is - .edu/owl/general_writing/grammar/spelling_common_words_that_sound_

and should be a MUST for HP fanfic authors... because os the OWL -
tee hee

You have an interesting story - a lot going on...
I will look at the rewrite. If you still have trouble with pronouns/tenses, etc. - look at this site. It is a marvel

i do not really see what the fall of the ussr has to do with the magical world. srnt muggle and magic separate?
and this isnt just bad writing this is raping english for all its worth and posting it as a bloody broken bitch saying its fine the bitch deserved itx

Great story, awful grammar

Glad to see you are able to get back to posting your stories.

Really need to work on your writing. Sentences are all messed up

Regulus Blacks initials are R.A.B. for Arcturus. Just thought I'd let you know

Please do if I like it sooo far want to see that as a full story but I also love what your doing with this story keep up the good work

While there are quite a few of grammatical errors, it doesn't bother me much. But what did bother me though is that there are a few inconsistencies and quite a few plot holes. For example, Harry's Falcon was in his dorm room and left through a hole in the ceiling? Slytherin common room is in the dungeons and mostlikely right in the depth of the lake. I do enjoy the story progress so far, but I would like to see more in depth character developments like Neville, perhaps. Does he even know that Harry is his godbrother? I hope the rewrite would be better, this story has so much potential to be great. Looking forward for an improved version

Dimitri is this a payday 2 reference

Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon...

The story has potential. It really does. You have good ideas. However, it was hard to read the story because of grammatical errors.

Nice chapter

Hi,

I love this story's ideas, and would have loved to read even more of it to see how everything plays out. Unfortunately I must stop here, I am truly struggling with the grammar problems that are making reading the story very hard to read.

The story seems good and well thought out, but the grammar is extremely poor. I don't ever plan to be the "grammar Nazi" for anyone's story, but when it makes comprehension a problem I try to point it out without being obnoxious. I think it has to do with a language barrier problem. English is an outrageous language prone to complicated and contradictory rules. I recommend a very good U. S. our U. K. high school level composition course followed by a good University level class