OMG! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF THE 11th Doctor (Matt Smith) FROM DOCTOR WHO! I LOVE THIS

"Bright, brighter, yet brighter" HMMMMMM Is that a reference to gasters music "Dark, darker, yet darker" or just a coincidence?

I liked this story but I think the ending was rushed No offence or anything

Oh my word reading this long after you finished
it and it is so great you did amazingly well

It's kind of sad to see this go, but at least it has an ending. I'm glad that you found closure with the first story you've written, and I can't wait to see you grow

Thank you for all that you do and right I hope you read this and it brightens up your day like your story does mine

Hey, you're not a crummy writer. I do think that Jasper is a bit overpowered... for his age. Maybe period. Honestly, he's a good characterit's just points where he's 'perfect' that bother me. Take, for instance, the scene at the hospital with Undyne. It's his first time 'cleansing' a soul, so to speak, yet he remembers everything and does it all right the first time with little to no help. I could get this by the time he got to Papyrus, but he's also tired by that point, so... *shrug* At the same time, this is still the best type of this scene that I have seenbecause it wasn't a "Jasper's soul shone brightly all of a sudden and purged the corrupted determination from the patient" type thing. It was a time-consuming process that only Jasper could do *only because* he is the only one not affected by the corrupted determination. Not because he has some sort of special ability that suddenly manifests that instantly cures all ills.

You don't necessarily need to rewrite this story. Leave it in the past and write a sequel! You could probably devise something to "nerf" Jasper if you wanted to, but honestly, just don't write him as someone who makes mistakes and you'll be fine.

Gnarly gnarly he parroted the silly phrase

What a nice profile pic reads chapter oh that makes sense

Pls continue like this I enjoy the story but I 2ould also like something without all the teen angst

I love this story it's all fluffy but not overly so and doesn't focus on it has serious moments as well keep up the good work

Well I like the story and hate the cliffhangers, but who doesn't? anyway, if you wanna rewrite it then thats fine, but I don't really mind weather you carry on with this or rewrite it because I like this story.

this is great, good job!

I wouldn't mind a remake. But I like this story too. So whichever make you happy.

I would like to see Parenttale as it would seem to be. Personally, I felt that the angst was unneeded but you relieving stress. I don't think that was the right move with this story, and you could instead write a sequel about the monster hating cult if you really enjoy that story line.