Ok finally read this like I said I would and I'm not gonna lie... I don't like this much. I like this way more than what the original show did but this entire series has a jarring flaw, the pacing is terrible. There are some really really! interesting plot points in this so points I just plane don't like but everything feels bad and cringy at how the pacing rushed through points, the characters suffer greatly by how fast you go over character points making some interactions feel flat and forced. The characters don't resonate much with me because of the lack of interaction and the introduction of character traits with no reason for them to be there makes it worse (the townies like Ronaldo and Lars and Buck are good examples). This lacks atmosphere, try building up to the scenes so that the would have more of a profound impact and have some more in dept character development.

Love this chapter and could you do the story idea that guest give you on July 18 in Jessie's new profession there is too many ash betrayed stories hope you could the idea.

Ooooh I love this chapter, this is seriously a great story good job

Uh wow this was just amazing. Seeing the teens now knowing how to fight was something I never thought of. Two of my favorite parts was Alex’s grudge with Bismuth, still not understanding why Luna let her back and Luna trying so hard to reason with her. Then Pearl comes and talks to her about she should forgive Bismuth because she too made the mistake of tricking Garnet from before and how this effected her life and the team. I’m now starting to see that they are having a romantic relationship. The next part I like was with Ronaldo’s arrogance. He thinks that he is so great, but ends up humiliating himself and getting in trouble and it implies that he’s going to learn from his actions. And I have to say, I do like this version of Smokey Quartz. Personally was fine with the original Smokey, but at least this male version has a cool design and still has the weapon of the original. Now Lion is cured and turned back into Pink Pearl and now I guess we’re about to see Rose return. This is probably my third or fourth favorite chapter, don’t know I have to reread this story again. Anyway great job, update soon.

I almost thought of a sailor moon transformation when everything was happening with Lion. But I love the outcome of this chapter. And hopefully IRL is doing better for you! If you need anything else from me about my OC gems let me know.

Keep on Writing!
Mimzy94

I would like it if Emerald could get her pearl revived. And for Holy Blue I say she needs her eyes opened to the possibilities of other gems! Anyways hope you have a good summer! Keep on Writing!

Well this was a good chapter. I like how the diamonds are portrayed to be more equal rather then being first, second and third rank, I mean they’re tyrants why would they need that. Yellow is really abusive and cruel here, pushing blue around and shattering emerald’s pearl for no reason. Anyway now emerald and holly blue are heading towards earth. I don’t know whether to kill them off or maybe they turn good if repairing shattered gems will work and they bring back emeralds pearl. Update soon.

This chapter feels like a flashback...

Well this was really fun and intriguing chapter to read. It’s cool to see everyone in beach city now training to be strong and being taught by Luna and Jasper. I actually couldn’t laughing at Ronaldo’s daydream. For ruby and sapphire wedding ideas I like some of the references to the episode “ the answer.” But also I enjoyed reading on Alex’s thoughts with Bismuth’s return. Hopefully they can officially work things out. I can’t wait for part 2.

Wow great chapter , love it love it, i’m so excited for the next chapter

Well it looks like Steven and Luna has worked things out with Bismuth. And you did it better by explaining why the way Bismuth thought of things were wrong. I also like how Luna and Alex were protective for each other and for Steven. Not to mention they way Steven proves he’s not his mom and is only half gem is smart actually. Show her that he can bleed. Anyway I can’t wait for the next chapter.

Have they ever confirmed how many gems died in the war

Wow I love the story so far, it’s really good , I especially like Alex’s character, i’d Love to see how she deals with her new abilities and her reaction to Bismuth coming back, can’t wait for the next chapter hope it’s going ok

Well this interesting. I liked stardust, she was pretty skilled and cool unlike Rainbow 2.0. The off colors finally get some screen time and I can’t wait to see if they can be better handled here than they were in the show. Peridot has plans for a way to fix shattered gems and to cure corruption, can she do it? Ruby and sapphire and making plans for there wedding. Now the citizens of beach city wants to learn how to defend themselves and Bismuth returns? Oh man, there’s so much to do here. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

This was a really good chapter. First showing how amethyst feels about this, but Greg being the good guy he is talks to her about it. Steven’s part was my favorite, he was comforted not just by pearl, but lapis and peridot as well. They were so supportive and kind here. And now Steven and Pearl has finally fused and it’s not Rainbow Quartz 2.0 ( thank you). I can’t wait to see what Stardust can do. Update soon please.