You need to show, not tell, but it’s all telling- in more ways than one.

One thing happens, then another thing happens. You tell it in sequence and pause to describe any given situation with exposition.

If you want to write porn without plot, you need to practice a lot more before publishing. You need patience to tell stories, and to have your pairing go at it for a whole page before popping is basic stuff

Go look at PWP oneshots- see how many paragraphs of vivid imagery there are before characters pop for the first time. It’s multiple pages, right? Do you feel involved in the scene reading that kind of narrative, or are you bridling to get to the part where the guy blows his wad?

Besides that, please get laid. Even if you have before, you don’t appear to care about any given part of sex or women.

I would recommend discovering what you love about the act and who you enjoy doing it with (and why). When you return to writing, the difference will be noticeable.

If nothing else, with more experience, you’ll find more words to describe stuff than “tight”, “round”, and “salty”. Just saying.

Wouah j'aime Naruto dans Naruto est l'un des meilleurs pour la balise zvec son kage bushin mais il n'aura pas du pas de dissiper quand il s'était fait frapper?
J'adore continu.

Damn this was so hot and I loved ever bit of it.

that was good keep the chapters coming

My penis is laughing

I would like a One on one Lemon scene with no clone.

Clones on lemons are clithe

samui is one of the hottest girls in naruto, loved this lemon

what is this? a trash or joke?

nice job

Love this. Don't know if you do request but can you do Naruto and Shizune

love it hope for more

that was good keep the chapters coming

hawt

Will there be a sequel to this story.

Not bad!