Very good story, Rigel was my favourite character on the show. Always wanted to see more of her character. Thank you for providing that.

Really enjoyed all the backstory for Rigel. She seemed like a strong person in the series, and her strength shows in this story. Her experience with homelessness and a harassing employer is realistic. Her independent personality also stays consistent throughout the story.

Rigel's perspective during the Exodus adds a lot that they could only hint at on screen, especially regarding the refugees. I could see her and Athena being good friends as well. And being a flight controller actually sounds like fun job. Hope Rigel might turn up in other stories as well!

Back again, VST!

It's nice to see how this picks up immediately from the ending of the previous chapter. The three Warriors are still struggling through the nova and at the risk of getting burned to crisp...but thanks to Rigel, things are cooling off! I really like how everybody celebrates this; as seen later in how the first scene ends, after all the darkness, the light is coming. There may just be a lot of survivors in planet Carillon.

Lol at Starbuck's story. He cheats on Athena, but Athena finds out about it. I can imagine what the "Steam Purge" button does to Starbuck while he's in the launch tube. Starbuck ends up dancing. What makes this especially funny is the usage of the simile: Starbuck ends up dancing like a little snake. XD

I like the mention of Rigel heading to the gym for some exercises. It shows that she's a diligent soldier who always tries to keep her in perfect shape, although she mostly works on the controls and monitoring rather than jumping straight into the battles.

Aww, that surely is a happy ending. A very sweet one. Although Rigel has lost almost everybody in her family during her youth, she's reunited with Uncle Euberto. Even better, Uncle Euberto has accomplished a feat (supplying food) and been placed in an important position in the fleet. That last paragraph is really touching; Rigel is so happy that she sheds tears of joy. And of course, I can feel the joy in Rigel as she asks about Uncle Euberto. Happy ending!

In all, I like how this story is so focused on the feels. It definitely has the dark atmosphere (Rigel's tragic past and humanity's struggle to survive). However, it also has many heartwarming moments like when Rigel takes care of the kids. And of course, the most heartwarming part is the ending. Everything has always looked so bleak in the story, but in the end, there comes the joy. The Warriors' mission is successful, but to a more emotional point, Rigel is reunited with Uncle Euberto, the only person she has left in her family.

Well done!

Hi again!

Opening
It opens pretty calmly and sweetly, with Rigel and the kids on a park. But suddenly, something horrible kicks in. The Cylons come to slaughter everyone. The imagery is vivid and intense; everything is exploding and burning. Meanwhile, Rigel has to protect the two kids...but she's too powerless to do anything.
And BAM! The fire comes. :( Luckily, it's just a nightmare. Overall, that's an intense opening.
One strange thing I notice is the lack of italics in the words [Shelgard] and [cold]. I dunno it's a typo or something stylistic, but I think best to italicize both of them.

Plot
I think there isn't much to say about the plot in this chapter. It seems like this chapter is more focused on Rigel's job of watching over the fleet and giving directions to the ships. But nonetheless, it's interesting because this is when I get to see Rigel's job in a more detailed manner. Although Rigel's job doesn't seem to be as dangerous as being in the ships like Apollo, Boomer, and Starbuck, it's still a job that may hurt Rigel. She is responsible for the lives of the pilots; wrong directions equal death to her comrades.

Character
I find myself liking Rigel even more. At the beginning, we get to see her caring, motherly nature as she takes care of the kids in her dream. And later, we see that she's also a charismatic woman. As the ships trudge through the nova and the minefield, she gives the pilots words of encouragement. That's so likeable of her.

Writing
The greatest thing here is the action and the tension. I like how you also convey that something is going wrong through the dialogue, such as when Apollo says that it's getting hot and Boomer's comment about missing a mine. For a moment, I thought they were going to be burned crisp or hit a mine. Fortunately, they passed them all.

Ending
But when Starbuck starts to say that he can't see a thing, and Apollo replies that he doesn't know a thing, I think their struggle isn't over yet. Rigel's encouragement further implies that the ships have yet to reach safety. It makes me wonder if they'll make it out alive. Or not. I hope they'll be safe and sound!

Well done.

Hi again, VST!

I can really relate to Rigel's opinion of his uncle. Back then, she was young. She, like most youngsters, thinks that Uncle Euberto is treating her terribly because she makes her work, etc. However, that was, actually, for her own good. Giving her so much work makes her grow up to be a strong woman.

And again, we're back to Rigel's past. She's just lost a job, forcing her to find another one. And it's not an easy job. I really like how you describe her journey. Rigel having to eat the bread and cheese from the previous day and refill water at a fountain show how rough her life was. She had to survive.

The scene with the dagget is a cute one. It's pretty touching, too, since the dagget reminds Rigel of her own dagget. I especially like how Rigel thinks that she can't really form a strong bond with Uncle Euberto's dagget.

I especially love how you alternate between the past and the present in this story, making it very gripping. It keeps me curious about Rigel's past. Often, there are hints in the present that makes things even more interesting, like the end of the third scene. While Athena is in the fleet because she wants to fly and fight like her brother, Rigel has a completely different reason for joining...and that brings Rigel's past to a full circle.

Now, apparently, Rigel joined when she searched for a job. However, it's not like she's totally aware of what she's getting herself into. She's now into the harsh, tragic world of military. Well, she certainly doesn't have to survive like when she's looking for a job (finding food and drink and being thrifty with them, etc), but there is a lot to be endured because they're in a war, and there will be many deaths.

A quick note: I'm pretty sure that the numbers in this chapter (50s, 60s, and 30) can just be spelled out.

Well done!

Hi again, VST!

Opening
I think the opening does a really good job in introducing a new character: Athena, while reminding us that Rigel is working. Through the dialogue, I already find that Rigel's and Athena's moments will be interesting, since they're both the same. They're survivors.

Plot
After the introduction, it's great to learn more about the characters. Athena has lost her family in a genocide. Meanwhile, Rigel is still hoping to see her uncle again... Sure, more names are added to the registry as time passes, but I wonder if Rigel's uncle will eventually show up. With so much danger around, I'm afraid that her uncle won't show up. :(
I really like that I can feel for the characters and the situation they're in. Humanity is in danger. Everybody is struggling to survive, and it's not easy. Athena hits the nail with her dialogue; it won't be long until all is lost. However, Rigel remains hopeful. I wonder if her past has something to do with that personality of hers. Maybe her tragic past actually has a happy ending because of her being hopeful and refusing to give up.
And we're back to Rigel's past again. Laelius is unsettling. Just because Rigel badly needs a job, he uses that to his advantage? Eeek. That tease is really unsettling (and I'm pretty sure that Laelius is the one who's teasing Rigel, not the other way round). But worst of all, Rigel is fired.

Writing
I really like how you alternate between the present and the past every chapter. That way, I never feel overwhelmed. It becomes very easy (and of course, fun) to learn more about Rigel's past.
What I've always loved in your writing is the vivid descriptions of the environment. They always manage to paint a vivid imagery. It's so clear that I can feel how busy the environment is (like the opening of the second scene).

Ending
Rigel's past itself is the most gripping part. It always makes me wonder what will happen to her, although I already know that she manages to survive such a harsh past (as seen in the present). It's because I'm already pretty invested in her character; she remains hopeful even when things don't look so good.

Well done.

Hi, VST! Back again!

Ah, now, we see that Rigel's shift is over. For the time being, she's finished dealing with the children...and that exhausts her a lot it seems. She's too busy to sleep during the shift, and when she gets to sleep, she has nightmares. I suspect that her nightmares must be related to her duty of taking care of children, which reminds her of her tragic past. I feel so bad for Rigel, especially when it's later revealed that Rigel's nightmare is about the children and her sad past. :(

Since the shift is over, I like that we get to learn about the situation of the fleet. The most interesting part here is the plan to find the Thirteenth Colony. It makes me wonder if humanity has managed to colonize planets other than Earth from the start. But that aside, I like how Rigel thinks that the discovery of the colony will give hope for her and everybody else in the fleet. Considering that near-extinction of humanity is the recurrent theme in this story, the fact that there are colonies out there in other planets is very heartwarming.

And another flashback. I love how you describe the environment of the desert: [watching the shifting sands as the wind created little eddies in the distance.] It's easy to visualize that, and it feels like I'm on a desert as well.

The flashback is well-placed, since I think I can see how it plays a role in Rigel's behavior in the future. Rigel has lost his parents to begin with, and here, Rigel appears to be abandoned and forgotten by her friend. She's now a homeless teenager struggling to survive. Just like the kids she takes care of in the previous chapter, though Rigel's situation is far worse than them because she's alone. But for sure, the flasback itself is very interesting; I wonder how Rigel can survive. She sure is a strong lady.

Well done.

Hi again, VST!

Opening
From the way Rigel and the liutenant speak, I get that there's a misunderstanding going on. It makes a good starting point, since I'm eager to see what will happen. Is Rigel going to just storm off? Or will she end up taking care of the children? Interesting!

Plot
I knew it was a misunderstanding. But at the same time, I find that it's sad, because Rigel thinks that the man thinks she can be good with children because she lost her parents at a very young age. Must be harsh for Rigel. But the liutenant is right. It's not her past or background that becomes the reason why she's chosen to take care of the kids. It's because she's a woman, not some big scary men. Children, as usual, will find it easier to trust women.
Towards the end, it seems like Rigel can handle the kids well. She manages to organize a team of kids to do the task the liutenant has mentioned. She even finds someone who can be an assistang among the kids.
What I feel a bit off is the paragraph describing about the Galactica. The second scene seems to be focused on Rigel's interactions with the kids, while that paragraph talks about the ship and the problems within it. It's irrelevant to the context methinks.

Writing
What I like most here is the atmosphere. At the beginning, it sure is tense, because the dialogue all sounds so dire. I can especially feel Rigel's exasperation on the second paragraph. It's even moreso when she goes on ranting about how her background may play a role in people choosing her to take care of the kids.
The scene with the kids is especially sweet with the descriptions. How you describe Rigel holding the kids is lovely; she isn't used to hold a kid, yet she tries her best. And the way you describe how the dozing toddler holds onto Rigel's hair really shows how much the kids enjoy having Rigel by their side. So sweet!

Ending
The ending feels serene and peaceful, since it ends with Rigel and Melanie going to sleep. But I do wonder if things will keep going well or go down. I guess only time will tell.

Well done.

Hi again, VST!

The opening scene is an interesting and rather emotional one. Rigel is sent to see the children, and from what the liutenant says, it seems like they believe Rigel is good at handling grieving kids. But from Rigel's past, it seems like this will just relive her past.

Flashback! What confused me a little at first is the use of "her" at the beginning. Is that referring to Rigel or her mother? It seems like it's referring to her mother, who can't sleep well since Rigel's dad died (and I really like the description of her face). But not sure.

Rigel's outburst is kinda sad. It seems like Father's death is too much for her, considering the fact that she's still a kid. :( And when she ends up apologizing, it's just as sad. What I like here is the realistic portrayal of a child's grief at her father's death.

As always, in this story, the idyllic environment always gets me. I can easily imagine Rigel cycling her way home while it rains. And every scene between Rigel and Grex is always sweet. Rigel always sounds happier when she sees her pet. And Grex himself, too, sounds like a playful one. This is a nice break from all the darkness.

The last scene is a heartbreaking one. The shift to Euberto's POV surprises me at first, because we've mostly been in Rigel's head. But here, it works well in giving an unpleasant reveal of Rachellen's death. I am like walking along Euberto as the story progresses at that point, and the deserted kitchen just gives me a bad feeling. Then, it's all revealed when Rigel is seen hugging her mother. From the bit about how Rachellen reacts to the dead sealmate (a beautiful comparison), I already guess that Rachellen is no more.

The last paragraph, while short, is very emotional. Rachellen is gone, and Euberto is doing his best to comfort poor Rigel. :'(

A very emotional chapter indeed. Well done!

Hi again!

Opening
It does kinda surprise me a bit to know that we're back at the present again, since the previous chapter ends at a very nice cliffhanger in the past. But that aside, the opening paints the gloomy atmosphere very well. Many people are dying, including the innocents. Although some of them survived, it doesn't mean that they're safe forever. The Cylons are still out there. How the paragraph ends is beautifully poignant. The victims have nothing left in their life other than their surviving families. :(

Plot
I like how this chapter is all about how seeing so much loss shakes Rigel's resolve and how she eventually regains it again. First, we have Rigel witnessing the grieving, shocked survivors. The most interesting moment is when Rigel checks the list of the survivors. Since I'm fandom blind, I really appreciate the information about Titus and Liutenant Zac.
Titus' tale is an interesting one, and it's nicely told without looking like an info-dump. Things progress smoothly and quickly, making the information so easy to be digested. Rigel once dated Titus, but Titus cheated on her. Rigel, being a realist yet a human, has a mixed feeling about this: will Titus someday change? Her realist side believes he won't, but her human side thinks he may just change...but too bad that Titus is already dead.
Then, the tale about Zac. Maybe Rigel hasn't talked to him much, yet she feels sorry for him. Which is understandable, since she witnesses how his spaceship blows up with him inside it. How sad. :(
After all the darkness, it's nice to see Colonel Tigh with the kids. Their interactions are so sweet, especially Tigh's speech. We aren't inside his head so we don't know whether he's just trying to be hopeful or he's really that hopeful (which is nice), but either way, it's still so sweet of him to comfort the girl.

Characters
I really like Rigel's emotional turmoil throughout the chapter. It makes her real and relate-able as a character. During the early parts, it's clear that seeing so many innocents dying and how they cling to each other so closely affects Rigel's psyche. But then, it's even worse when she sees the list of the survivors. Many of her loved ones are gone, which breaks her morale completely. She thinks there's no more hope of defeating the Cylons or at least surviving their attacks. But then, after seeing how Colonel Tigh remains calm and hopeful, she regains her resolve.

Ending
The way it ends feels hopeful, since Rigel herself decides to press on instead of giving up. It leaves me wondering if Rigel will, in the future, be successful in protecting the innocents and/or surviving the Cylons assault with the crew.

Well done!

Hi, VST! Been a long time since I read this. :)

Ah, I see we're going back in time. We've got to see the tough woman Rigel has become in the future, and now, we're about to learn the hardships she's endured in the past.

In just a few paragraphs, you've painted the atmosphere of an idyllic village. I really like all the imageries, like Rigel kicking away a stone as she walks down the road. Also, the symbolism/metaphor of that is great. It also gives a hint about how Rigel's life is in the past: it's rough.

The imagery and the atmosphere grow even more as we get into the part about the egg transport. It's one of the products in this place. I also like how the dust gets to Rigel and how she reacts to it. Well, it isn't very pleasant after all, for a young girl.

And we get into a sadder part of Rigel's life. She's bullied, and nobody ever offers to help her...all to avoid getting bullied.

Throughout this part, the gravel landing on Uncle Euberto's field is a nice break from the somber mood. Rather funny I say. The first gravel lands, and Rigel is rather afraid of what will happen if Uncle Euberto sees it. When the second gravel lands, well, she's just too consumed by the thoughts of her painful life (bullies) to give a damn about Uncle Euberto.

The part with Grex the dagget is an lovely section, too. It's another nice break from the somber atmosphere. Since I'm fandom blind, I view a dagget as a dog, judging from its behavior and how Rigel plays with it. She plays fetch with it, and it licks Rigel's face while wagging its long fluffy tail. Of course, from these few imageries, I really agree with Rigel's thoughts of Grex being one of the few good things in her life. Having a pet by your side always brightens up your day. I have pets, so I know how it feels to be friends with fluffy lil critters heh. ;)

That ending seems to hint something bad. Rigel's dad is coming back home, but it doesn't look like a happy reunion. The hints in the last paragraph, in which Rigel's mother weeps with something that may be a letter in her hands. Since we don't get to see the real appearance of Rigel's dad, I'm afraid that he's gone. But well, time will tell!

Well done.

Sorry this took so long!

Anyhoo...so you wanted an overall feel of the whole story. Okay, well, I think once I got to the end, my overall impression is that it was a slice of life. What eventually felt like to me was a character development episode from a television show. Since this was based off of a TV show i think it works and I really liked that. You know how there is an episode where the action is more in the background and we focus on a side character to see where they come from. That is how I came to see the whole thing.

I think it wrapped up well in the end. Because she sees some hope in herself, humanity and in the profession she chose. So you can see where she came from and that she is stronger now because of it and will come out better in the end. Her interaction with the teen girl was a nice wrap up too. considering how against she was to taking care of them that part was sweet too. Also the ending shows her connection to her past. How she is truly relieved to know her uncle is still alive.

By the end I think that if this was a TV show that usually followed Starbuck and the Colonel, that this would be an interesting delve into a side character, like I said before. She is very likable too which makes the story interesting especially the parts in the town on her own. The other characters, now that I think of this as an episode rather than a novella, don't confuse me as much. I just understand that they have a whole other adventure that is going on with the rest of the show, that I am not seeing.

Reverse review tag!

Hello again.

To start off her nightmare is pretty frightening to say the least. I wasn't sure at first if it was a memory or not, but once you mentioned the children's names, then I knew she was dreaming. All of her fears of present and the past combining into a not so pleasant nights sleep.

Then she awakes to join everyone on an intense mission. At first I wasn't sure what they were doing. It thought those three fighters were going on a scouting mission. Then you stated that the fleet was following them. I am still not sure why they are going through the nebula. Is it to find a weapon or to find shelter behind such a hard to get through area? I wasn't sure.

Athena annoyed me a little being so petty about Starbuck when Rigel is watching over people's lives. But it was only for a moment. Yes he has betrayed her , but why is this part of Rigel's story?

Once the actual mission began it was a pretty tense chapter. I did fear that some cylon ships would jump out of the gas, since they couldn't see anything. Also once the ships began to overheat, I feared they would explode or melt. It think it was a pretty neat idea that the main ship could scan for all the smaller ones. Even though they are flying and shooting blind, they still have some sort of eyes.

How weird would that be shooting out and not being sure if you are hitting anything ? Good thing the computers are strong enough to sense the mines or this trip would be a lot shorter.

The chapter did jump out of Rigel's pov for a little. Which was a little odd. Since the only other time was to be in Athena's mimd, which also was a little weird. Just because the story has been following Rigel so closely and those mind jumps are so fleeting. If it happened more often, I don't think it would have thrown me off.

So, once they get through this cloud, what is going to happen? Also whatever happened to that expedition that was supposed to go to earth? I really wonder about that crew. But for now the Galactica is safe. Hope it continues that way. But considering their luck with the cylons, I am not sure it will last.

Hi, VST! Fandom blind, but I'll do my best.

Now, that opening paragraph works well as a gripping opening. It makes me wonder why such experience gives so much pressure to Rigel. In the next paragraph, it's revealed that her work isn't easy. The burden of protecting humanity is just a lot. I can relate to Rigel by that point.

Then the next paragraph, we're introduced to a sad past. Rigel's sadness as she works is even more relate-able now. She has lost many friends and allies in the past. Now, this also makes me wonder if Rigel will do something more than monitoring later, such as facing the Cylons.

The interaction between Rigel and Adama is very sweet. Adama sure looks like a mentor/father-figure to Rigel. And [gave her an almost fatherly pat-pat] is a nice visual that reinforces their relationship.

Throughout this chapter, I think the setting is really well done. I may be fandom blind, but I can still picture what's going on. The characters are, from what I see, working in a huge ship (or maybe a space station?). They are monitoring flights. Although descriptions aren't a lot, I think the 'blips' is enough to convey what's going on. It's something from a flight monitor or such. Then the image of docking ships etc also adds to the setting.

By the end of this chapter, I find myself sympathizing with Rigel even more. It seems like she's a person who takes her responsibility seriously. Even after everything seems fine, she's unable to sleep and prefers helping others.

The first chapter tells a lot about Rigel's character and sets up the setting pretty well, but I do think that the first chapter is very slow as a start. I think if you give a few leads, it can make it more gripping.

That aside, well done.

Reverse tag.

Picking up with Athena and Rigel at the end of their conversation. It was nice to see Rigel's introspection in her last and how her Uncle helped her be as strong as she is. How at the time she presented him for it, but he did teach her skills of hard work and discipline.

This leads into a flashback right tow when she is stuck in the city and homeless. But just as it is getting bleam and she thinks she might have to go home she meets a very helpful woman. She seemed genuinely kind and wanting to help and I immediately liked her. Especially with the last comment about wanting to find that cafe that Rigel was working at.

When we jump back the transition is a little weird. Every other flashback as been connected, but this was very on the nose. It was like Rigel was narrating for Athena and now he jump back to the present. I think I liked the other way better of the flashbacks just being a part of the chapter and not having an intro and exit.

Back in the past we find out the older woman's name is Elysia. She is a military wife and really gives the store owner a piece of her mind. I would have really liked to have seen that instead of seeing only the outcome. But nonetheless Rigel is now able to eat and is shown the recruitment office. Since she is a military kid I would have liked to see her opinion on joining since her father died in service. I would think she might have reservations. Or maybe she is gung-ho to follow in his footsteps?

The last part was the first time we jump into another POV and I wasn't sure why. Is Athena a bigger character in this story than I think? I know she is in the main mythis of BSG, but in Rigels story it was a little odd.

I really, once again, enjoy how you wrote her parts alone in the city. You can really feel her desperation as she tries her hardest to not go back home. I think those scenes of her homeless are the most sympathetic and touching parts of Rigel's story.