Update please

Okay, SERIOUSLY? That's so much bullshit I can't even... Ugh. Even if he's the King of snakes and nagas, it doesn't mean he's king of all the nine realms. Every type of creature has their own ruler. They don't defer to another species unless they won a war over them. He's not even ready to ascend to his lordship, much less be king of anything. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
What ALSO doesn't make sense is that he had no trouble acclimatizing to his new state of being, as well as the fact that he has so much control of his magic that he was able to change back to his human shape again. He's been a slacker all his Hogwarts career thanks to Ronald Weasley, he's not going to know how to do that with his magic. Not to mention, if he wants to leave the country, he'd need a passport. Unless he's going to have the goblins make a port key for him?

It's just, you keep NOT making sense. Sure, OP Harry can be cool, but unless it makes sense, it definitely won't be worth reading. Please think about whether what you're writing makes sense and is possible before putting it down. You'll have a much better story, and more readers interested in reading it.

Ohh boy, where should I start..? (U~U ; Well, your idea is a good one, but the way you've executed it leaves much to be desired. The whole scene with Death just felt contrived and corny. Mostly because of the way Death was acting. The first thing that came to mind in that scene was "pop quiz" or "tutorial" from a game.

Also, I noticed the interactions between the characters were abrupt, as well as some not making much sense. The transitions between scenes are just as abrupt as the dialogue. You also need to use punctuation more. You keep missing commas in dialogue, as well as other punctuation, but mostly commas.

Also, the whole inheritance test thing, some info on there, I kind of doubt the goblins are powerful enough to get with a regular inheritance test. The following ritual was just terrible, though. My suspended disbelief broke there. A ritual getting rid of many blocks would take more than a second, a LOT of power(thus needing more than one caster), and it'd be quite painful to go through. It'd be painful enough that he'd black out. You don't change your very being and grow new parts without enduring a LOT of pain. You never put any of that in there, which made it so unrealistic I cringed.

You need to add more detail in your story. Believable detail, or people won't read your story. Really, the chapter was just too short. You never showed how people responded to the changes he made in the timeline. Are we just supposed to assume everything is the same as before? If we are, then what's the point of changing anything, then?

Love it!,creature inherent are my favorite.
Please update soon!

continue, please

If someone adopts this story can you please post a new page to let other know

Please continue the story

Please continue I am waiting to know what is going on! X3

Hope to read more /

This is great so far I hope to read more soon

Please update new chapters! Love this story.

please update

Hope to read more soon.

D

Please please update

Please update