| Reviews for Desertion Part Two: A Ghost's Beginning |
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  el jefe chapter 22 . 4/1 more feet lemons plez |
 Fat Future Cat chapter 47 . 7/12/2019 Reunions make me happy! Cliffhangers by devious authors make me sad |
| Darklordkiller1999 chapter 46 . 7/6/2019 Always loved this story and hope one day it can get updated and continue |
| Setusna chapter 2 . 2/28/2019 Hey man, thanks for the review you posted on my story. Because of people like you, my spark for writing has reignited fiercely. I came here as soon as you told me you wrote and read your works and they are amazing. I believe they are well structured than my earlier works. You have given them a clear path. If I would like to give you advice I would say to not put actions in as words. Describe the actions instead of saying *sigh* or say how many days it has been. I.E. Gage sighs after noticing there was one more week etc. Describing actions helps readers become more engage and/or immerse in the story as if they are next to the characters. The more you describe things the more the readers can visualize everything. Although if you describe something too much it'll force the readers to not use their imagination. That was my problem with my first few chapters of Team RWBYS besides the major grammatic errors that I didn't bother fixing :( and it is entirely my fault. Keep up the good work and I will look forward to the next chapter. |
| Gordita2020 chapter 45 . 12/15/2018 Holy shit...this chapter was so intense... |
| bankerrtx01 chapter 45 . 12/14/2018 Press F to pay respect Fffffffffffffffff I just say the pun |
| Snowballs FF chapter 1 . 8/10/2018 Everytime I read the "Desertion" part of your title, I think it's "Despacito". |
| Gordita2020 chapter 43 . 6/30/2018 Oh...my...god... |
| Gordita2020 chapter 42 . 5/20/2018 :0:0:0:0:0:0:0:0:0:0:0:0:0:0 |
| bankerrtx01 chapter 42 . 5/11/2018 I don’t care if this isn’t a chapter just remember to replace it with the real chapter when it’s done |
| bankerrtx01 chapter 41 . 3/12/2018 Meow... NO CINDER YOU CANT STEAL THE RELIC OF CREATACTION AND MAKE THE WORLD COMPLETELY OUT OF MILK! |
| Arrekusu chapter 39 . 12/20/2017 So I finally read this... For the love of God, was this a long chapter. If I were to give constructive criticism, I think it would be a better idea if you could instead make the chapters a bit shorter, so it could possibly be easier. For example, this chapter could have been split in two. Well, that's my opinion. I will say that this is a good chapter. Hope things get better soon. — Arrekusu |
| Guest chapter 39 . 11/20/2017 This story needs more recognition It’s just amazing |
| ParkerThomas chapter 39 . 11/18/2017 I really love this story. I read through the first one a while ago and then the second one up to the chapter it was at when I last read it. I kinda fell out of reading it because it took so long to get an update. I'll be following it from now on though. Took me a bit to catch up what I missed. Can't wait for the next chapter. I had a funny thought when thinking about Gage and Yang's relationship. It would be funny and ironic if Gage's dad had a relationship with Raven when they were at Beacon. Basically just like Gage and Yang's relationship though obviously it didn't last. Its just a thought that came to me when Ozpin was talking to Ironwood about Glynda choosing Gaigus over him. |
| Guest chapter 39 . 11/7/2017 If you still have the drive I’d love to see how you take the story because of how much you didn’t like volume 4. Despite the fact you have not gotten to volume 3 yet. |
