I do enjoy this story, but I don't understand the atmosphere that's been happening. James and Sirius was so angry at Cassie for keeping a secret yet they've all been keeping an even bigger one. I understand they're different things, but both secrets where to keep the other safe and I can't believe she hasnt called them out for being hypocrites. She seems slightly 'muggish' in this chapter.

Sinceramente essa história está se mostrando já um drama adolescente de garoto e garota, porém não surpreso devido a idade dos personagens. Só é um pouco desmotivador, quando a garota seria invisível mas é amiga de Alice e Lily Potter.

*friends don't keep secrets, allright? Especially ones this big.*
Really James? Really? Biggest hypocrite ever. You don't tell Cassie about Remus' furry little problem, but tell her, friends don't keep secrets? Again...really? Bloke makes me go crazy
I really love your story. Tbh, I only got until the above mentioned paragraph rn, but I didn't want to forget it. I'ma continue reading now very well written!

Nooo
Cassie nooo
Mk cielo, mi bebé nooo
Hay pobrecita :(

How can there be a grizzly murder right four chapters before the end, I'm still screaming!

OMG
Throughout this book there were Moments when I would laugh out loud because of their banter.
There were also moments when I would gasp out loud from shock of the twist and turns
I would also found myself screaming out loud no don’t drink the wine you know it’s poisoned

I also found myself trembling in fear when Voldemort was there. I honestly felt completely terrified. You have written the best Harry Potter fanfiction I have ever read
Thank you so much for this story

greeneyedsam: Haha loved this chapter!

I came to this story after reading your 'A fascinating fixation...' which I really enjoyed but I can't say the same about this one. The story is overall interesting but Cassie is a very unlikable character.

“The compartment was deathly quiet; normally the chugging of the steam engine would have provided some escape from the stifling silence pressing down on them, but the train was no longer moving, squatting somewhere just outside of London where nothing but soggy grey fields and damp grey sky could be seen, the rain still coming down in pattering sheets.”

~~adfjkkgdafjkkdf This paints the scene BEAUTIFULLY! I love your description of the fields as “soggy grey,” the sky as “damp gray,” and the rain as “pattering sheets. Also, it’s really cool how you make sure to mention the absence of the steam engine; for some reason, it makes the silence all the more powerful.

“She had Cassie's angular face, and the brown of her hair and eyes was precisely the same shade of her own, though that was where the most obvious similarities ended. Upon closer observation, her skin was a faintly darker hue, dusted here and there with a few freckles, and her nose was small and round, like a button, whereas Cassie's was longer and slimmer, and slightly upturned at the tip. Her brows hung low over her deep eyes, giving her a perpetual pondering expression that conveyed wisdom and thought, something Cassie could never pull off with her arching brows and sharp cheekbones, which just highlighted her imperious features and made her look dour all the time.”

~~HOLY HELL I LOVE THIS. I can picture Cassie so well through this, too, and it’s a lovely and very natural place to introduce more of her physical characteristics, such as her sharp cheekbones, slim nose, and arched brows. Wonderful, wonderful job.

“James rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses further up his nose. ‘My deepest apologies, princess. I'll get right back to being your adoring servant.’”

~~LMAO, this is so sarcastically perfect XD

“She could feel Remus sitting beside her, as stiff as a board, but she figured he was just as invested as she was, the tension becoming almost palpable.”

~~AMAZING dramatic irony here (I believe that’s what it’s called?). The audience knows that Remus is a werewolf, and yet Cassie is still in the dark.

"’I need some air,’ he said abruptly, before stepping out of the compartment and slamming the door behind him so forcefully the glass in the pane rattled, startling them all.”

~~AFJJSAADHJFD NO, MY POOR CHILD *cue the sobbing emojis that Fanfic . net doesn’t allow to appear in reviews*

"’Er...’ Sirius tried for a grin that came out more like a grimace, and Peter looked as if he was prepared to dive out of his seat and tackle her to the ground.”

~~This is a wonderful paragraph; you do a fantastic job here of showing the boys’ uneasy, borderline panic here.

“They sat in silence for several moments, she watching the raindrops freeze and coalesce on the window and he fiddling with the book in his lap, flipping through the pages in interest and popping his lips in a bubble continuously.”

~~FANTASTIC paragraph. The raindrops, the silence, the tiny detail of James popping his lips in a bubble (which is wonderfully phrased, btw)—all of it is amazing.

"’No, we're friends, there's a bloody difference!" he snapped. "We protect our friends, Cassie, you know that!’"

AHHHHHHHH I LOVE THE CHARACTER/RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT! Before it was a simple “We’re allies, we take care of each other” (although we all know it’s because they’re friends lol), and now the character has progressed to “We’re friends, I would die for you.” Love it fjjdahjhdd.

“she felt angry tears sting her eyes when she heard the pity creeping into his voice, as well.”

~~LOVELY LINE!

“She sniffed hard, staring at her knees and discreetly wiping her tears on her scarf as he prudently looked away, suddenly taking an interest in the wall across from them.”

~~afhkkjdsdjk fantastic line.

“She made sure to lock her trunk this time before returning to her seat, watching the frozen and wet landscape slip by as the Hogwarts Express hastened to their destination.”

~~I love this line! The phrase “watching the frozen and wet landscape slip by” is beautifully put.

“Marlene said, rolling her eyes before sweeping Cassie into a flowery-scented hug.”

~~Ooh, that’s a lovely way to describe Marlene’s hug, and so in character for her flower, makeup loving self. :)

“Cassie grimaced, remembering the heavy, cloying perfume bottle the blonde witch had sent her, simply but elegantly labeled Sexy, but she plastered a huge smile on her face when she pulled back, nodding enthusiastically.”

XD Also perfectly in character, I love it XD

“...she said defensively, accepting the proffered napkin from Alice and wiping off some strawberry marmalade that had dripped onto her tie, though there was still a pinkish stain once she had removed the worst of it.”

~~Ooh, I love this little added detail of the pinkish stain on her tie. It’s the occasional tiny details like this that, for some reason I can’t explain, really draw me into the scene and help it feel that much more real to me.

“...Cassie said, fingering the cover of her ancestor's book and wrinkling her nose when a thick coat of dust caked her fingertip afterwards.”

~~LOVE this description of the dust.

“Madam Pince's raptor-like hearing”

~~adhkfsh that’s such a good way to describe it.

“The girls had rounded a corner to see a bizarre sight, one that involved Sirius Black and a blonde witch that was decidedly not Marlene, locked in a fierce battle that involved lots of roaming hands and moving lips, and they all stopped dead in their tracks.”

~~OH MY GOD, SIRIUS, YOU OVERBAKED CROUTON, WHY? *pinches bridge of nose and bangs head against desk*

~~Anyway, now that I’m done shouting at your character (XD), this was a very well written paragraph. The phrase “roaming hands and moving lips” presents the kiss as decidedly not innocent and VERY not accidental of the characters, which is, of course, what it is (at least on Sirius’s part).

“Sirius looked as if he wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole.”

~~GREAT line.

“her voice dripping with venom.”

~~Ooh, lovely description.

“They didn't say anything, choosing to remain silent while Marlene attempted to pull the pieces of her heart back together, her sobs echoing down the empty corridor.”

~~asfklgdgk Beautifully, beautifully, written, and so, so heartbreaking.

“Firstly, if you don't mean that apology to your sincerest degree, then I will hex you until you turn bald and grow a jungle of back hair instead,’ she said, jabbing her finger into his chest to emphasize her point.”

~~Afjkkfssjkdt I love this piece of dialogue. XD

“He stared at her for a long moment before crushing her to his chest, burying his face in her shoulder, and she clung back to him just as tightly, blinking back her own tears. They were so young, but they were already going through far too much, and she poured her own emotions into their embrace, their hopes and fears melding together and creating a sort of armor around them both, a shield to protect themselves and a sword to protect the ones they loved.”

~~THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY STUNNING ASKLHDSSHLHGFJLSDGK I can’t even... this is such a deep, emotional scene for the characters, and you’ve written it wonderfully. Amazing, amazing job.

"”Well, Padfoot," James grinned, tugging off his jumper and tossing it onto his bed, "let's just say it involves a minor sacrifice of my dignity, but nothing too extreme."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Cassie said, her eyes wide as next James unbuttoned his shirt and removed it, as well. "This is not happening."”

~~LMAO XD XD XD I’m seriously crying with laughter right now, I love James’s character so much XD

~~OH MY GOD I’M READING THE PART WHERE JAMES IS DISTRACTING FILTCH, AND I KEEP BURSTING OUT IN GIGGLES AND LAUGHING SNORTS. THIS IS PURE GOLD. XD

“Professor Carlisle said, her cold eyes freezing them in place and her crimson lips twisting into a smile, giving her the appearance of a savage wolf that had finally hunted down its prey.”

ADKLSDKK LOVE THIS LINE! Good lord, this chapter was SO much fun to read. Thank you a million-gazillion for writing it! :)

adhkljdafjhdshssdvysg SO GOOD! This is another short review (I’m so sorry), but I REALLY want to keep reading afjljdakaskl.

Real quick: I love how you’ve building up the tension between Snape and James; it also makes James a very three-dimensional, flawed character for attacking Snape, which is pretty awesome, since great characters are usually problematic in one way or another. And that CLIFFHANGER. I feel like I sat the word “cliffhanger” every review, but adjkdjk AHHHHHHH.

Ahjkhsc Okay, this is another short and crappy review, I’m so sorry (it’s 2 a.m. adjj) but AHHHHH THIS WAS SO GOOD, AMAZING, AMAZING JOB ADGKHSSGJKFSGNCD

Me: *manages to struggle through watching my online math video while trying not to roll my eyes at my teacher’s reedy, sing-songy voice that sounds as if he’s talking to a three-year-old*

Me: *finishes the video but still has to rewatch it while I do coursework*

Also Me: *flings my laptop aside, scoops up my phone, flops onto my bedroom’s old leather armchair, and lies upside-down while eagerly clicking on The Clockwork Locket’s permanent tab on my phone* Ah, yes, I am the perfect example of a responsible teenager. So responsible. I should win an award.

Some of my favorite lines:

“There was a time long since past when she would have awakened before dawn and stolen downstairs in the dim early morning hours to snuggle on the rug near the hearth, where she would have a perfect view of their extravagant tree, still lit during the night and casting flickering shadows that danced patterns as she watched and waited.“

~~Oh my god, this reminded me of what it’s like to be a happy little kid near bursting with excitement on Christmas Day. There’s something magical in the scene you’ve sketched here. Beautiful, beautiful job.

“She stayed on her side, facing the frosty afternoon outside her windows even after she heard the door open.”

~~Lovely line!

"’Happy Christmas, Mum,’ Cassie said, her voice raspy from its lack of use over the days, and Eleanor's arms tightened ever so slightly around her.”

~ssgkljdsg This is a fantastic line, and I love your description of her raspy voice, along with the way her mother’s arms tighten around her after she wishes her a Happy Christmas. To me, it feels that Cassie is not the only one for whom Christmas has changed.

“The unsettling feeling that had been sitting in Cassie's gut for the last week only seemed to intensify the longer she thought about it, but she tried to quash it down as she followed her mother into the drawing room, where a plethora of presents wrapped in shiny silver and gold paper gleamed out at her from beneath the tree.”

~~Gorgeous paragraph!

“The fabric slipped easily through her roaming fingers, like rivers of the softest ink.”

~~Ahjkkkkhdsgjdgjj THIS SIMILIE IS BEAUTIFUL; I CAN SEE THE ROBES SO CLEARLY IN MY MIND AGJKJDAASGJKD

“It was wrapped in crinkly parchment paper, secured with a thick brown string, and rectangular in appearance.”

~~LOVE THIS DESCRIPTION!

“When she was done, she was left with a large book in her lap, as she had guessed, but it looked ancient. The cover was leather and worn, perhaps a rich brown at one point, but now faded into a dusty beige, the embossed lettering all but invisible. She opened the cover and was hit with a musty smell. The pages were thick yet brittle to her touch, and she held them carefully as she flipped through the first few—faded with age—before finding the title, thankfully readable:”

~~AHHHHH THIS ONE IS SO GOOD TOO! You have a gift for being able to describe things with the perfect amount of detail, not too much, not too little, so that it feels as if I am actually there—I can feel the book in my hands right now.

“...if only to avoid the pit of ice she could feel growing in her gut.”

~~adflhdssgjj amazing line afjksadjk

“Cassie sucked in a sharp breath when she was released from the clutches of her father's Side-Along Apparition, willing her stomach to stop roiling. Cold air stung her face and stabbed at her lungs as her parents tumbled into existence next to her much more smoothly.”

Ooh, I LOVE this paragraph: the way you describe the cold air, the phrases “willing her stomach to stop roiling” and “Cold air stung her face and stabbed at her lungs”—asgkkjddsfj they’re all amazing. :)

OKAY I’M GOING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND STOP READING AND GO DO MY MATH *sobs* Farewell...

...

ALRIGHT IM BACK, IT’S BEEN, LIKE, HALF AN HOUR AND I GOT HALF THE COURSEWORK DONE, AND IM CALLING IT GOOD TONIGHT AND NOW I’M GONNA KEEP READINGGGGGGGGG.

“It was easy to see which features Sirius had inherited from his parents as Cassie studied them, taken aback by just how good-looking each of them were. Orion was still very attractive at his age, with the same thick, silky dark hair Sirius possessed, though there were quite a few greys mixed in, as well. His eyes were deep-set and dark in his face, his olive skin seeming to glow faintly in the dim light, and his beard was short and well-kempt. He approached her father with a lazy sort of smile that reminded her of a cat, easily towering over the shorter and slighter man as he grasped Lukas's hand tightly and gave it a firm shake.”

~~AHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS. Once again, you use one of the character’s parents and compare them to the character, thus revealing/reminding us of their physical appearance: in this case, silky thick hair, olive skin, and dark eyes. Sgkjsagk I love it. :)

Also, the way you introduce Walburga is FANTASTIC. Everything, from the hungry, snakelike curl of her lips to the way she clutches Cassie’s face and examines it, presents her as the evil-freaking-villain her character is, and it does it MAGNIFICENTLY.

“He shot her his own smirk, and Cassie's heart quickened at the action, though she didn't know why.”

~~OH MY GOSH, SHE’S SO LOVABLY CLUELESS, I FREAKING LOVE HER.

“Walburga smiled at the other woman, though it looked like she was swallowing glass.”

~~Adhkljfsh AMAZING simile sglgsafjk

“She looked to Sirius to gauge his reaction, but other than the slight tightening of his jaw, he didn't seem fazed by the remark, which only made her feel worse.”

~~OH MY GOD, MY POOR, SWEET, SUFFERING CHILD *cue sobbing emojis* AFGKLGDGJJ WALBURGA DESERVES TO BE PELTED WITH ROTTEN KUMQUATS BY STRANGERS EVERYWHERE SHE GOES FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

“Fortunately, Sirius was the only one who noticed. He reached under the table and put his hand on her knee from where he was sat next to her, warm and solid and reminding her of his presence.”

~~AHHHH THEY’RE SUPPORTING EACH OTHER AND BEING GOOD FRIENDS, I LOVE IT.

“It was a spacious room, with a large bed decorated with a carved headboard, velvet curtains shut tightly over the windows, and a dripping candle chandelier above them. What little wall space that wasn't covered with Muggle posters like the ones in his dormitory or Gryffindor banners boasted a nice coat of burgundy paint, which matched the fine oak of his furniture, and her lips quirked in a grin when she noticed the tall bookshelf filled completely with books.”

~~wOw, wOw, wOW, this is a LOVELY description. Absolutely beautiful.

AHHHHHKJASJLV ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER SGNSGLAFKBSHLKDGJ

OKAY THIS IS GONNA BE A REALLY SHORT AND CRAPPY REVIEW AND IM SO SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO GO DO MATH AND HOPEFULLY GET IT DONE BEFORE 1 A.M.

BUT LET ME JUST SAY THAT THIS CHAPTER WAS SO EFFING GOOD AND I JUST...ASFHJKHDSJ I LOVE IT SOSOSOSOSOSOSO MUCHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU FOR WRITING IT, IT WAS AMAZINGGGGGGGG

“Cassie wrestled her way through the pack of students crowding the rickety train platform, her breath spilling into the air in little puffs of smoke as she sidestepped a third-year scouting for someone to practice his Tickling Hex on.“

~I love the way you describe her breath! I can totally picture the frigid temperatures of the train platform through the little puffs of smoke that her breath becomes.

“She frowned at the back of his head, noticing a tuft of hair that stuck out so prominently she had the sudden urge to lick her hand and smooth it down, though she refrained. "That doesn't mean you have to be pricks about it.”

~adfhkkhdfh I love this paragraph :)

“"Er, well, I think with all the stress added because of the exams it was worse," he mumbled, looking out the window as he said it and staring at the snow-laden trees whipping by.”

~adfjkkdshkkf i LOVE the at you describe the trees as they pass them. It’s perfect.

“She didn't stop, but slowed her pace some so Sirius could catch up with her, that weird jolt going through her stomach again. She had considered yesterday's Hogsmeade trip to be quite a success in getting him to take her seriously, yet she now found it quite hard to make eye contact with him, though she was certain it had nothing to do with having licked his foot.”

~AHHHHHH I LOVE THE WAY YOU’RE HINTING AT HER DEVELOPING FEELINGS FOR SIRUIS. It’s done in such a subtle, smooth way, and it’s absolutely amazing acnvajlhaykgdv.

“He stopped her and turned her shoulders, so she was facing him squarely. She forced herself to meet his gaze, her face a bit too warm when she saw how intense he looked, grey eyes solemn and handsome face serious. She was aware of how close they were standing in the small corridor, as well, but she tried not to think about it too much when he spoke again.”

~God, I LOVE this paragraph. You’re building up her emotions in such a slow and realistic way in this story: the flush of her cheeks when she looks up at him, the realization of how close they are, the confined space they’re in. Agkhashjkhd I love it.

“Her throat was uncomfortably dry, and her arms had started to itch under her coat as she scanned the faces around her, looking for the telltale signs of cold aristocracy and an aura of arrogance that people tended to give a wide berth around.”

~AMAZING LINE!

“Lukas Alderfair looked very much the same as he always had, ever since Cassie could remember him as a little girl. His brown hair was still cut in the same fashion, long on top and shorn on the sides, exposing the grey hair that had always been prominent there. He was not a tall nor a broad man, but his stiff posture and frighteningly cool demeanor were imposing enough on their own. His pale skin was so smooth and unblemished it gave the appearance of expensive porcelain; a stark contrast to his eyes—so dark they seemed almost black. It was these same eyes that locked onto her naught a second later, and Cassie ignored the sudden drop in her stomach as she approached him.”

~WOW THIS IS A STUNNING CHARACTER DESCRIPTION. I can see him so well in my mind agkfsjk. I also love the way you show Cassie’s stomach dropping when she walks toward him—through the action, the reader to interpret how she feeling.

“She swallowed nervously as his dark eyes raked her over before one eyebrow rose in mild disgust.”

~LOVE THIS LINE sfjkjsadgjksag

“The last thing she saw as she was sucked into darkness was a pair of glittering grey eyes trained right on her, and she faintly registered the face of Sirius and what appeared to be a hard look of concern in his gaze before she had left the platform behind.”

~FANTASTIC paragraph. I love how you end the scene with this. :)

“Cassie was released from the compressing darkness of Apparition atop the hillside, where she promptly stumbled and dropped her rucksack while her father landed smoothly beside her, not a hair out of place as she scrambled to pick up her belongings.”

~Ooh, I love the juxtaposition between Cassie and her father here. His actions are smooth and purposeful; hers are rushed and awkward, as shown through “stumbled,” dropped,” and “scrambled.” In my mind, it furthers the difference between her stern father and herself and deepens the tension between them.

“The path wound its way up the hill, becoming gradually steeper as it went, though the views it offered outweighed the struggle of walking uphill. The moors stretched out below them in swatches of brown and green, almost ghostly from the fine layers of mist overlying them. Lights were beginning to wink on in the village below in the semi-darkness of twilight, offering a golden opaqueness to the scene that was quite warm despite the cold winter air.”

~WTF THIS DESCRIPTION IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN. My jaw is hanging open and my eyes are wide, and HOLY CRAP THIS IS STUNNING.

AGLJSKHSHK AHHHHH I JUST READ THE ENDING CLIFFHANGER ADKJSAHKLSHJAHHHHHHHHHH. SHDADJ, I still have to do a section of math today but NOW I HAVE TO KEEP READING OMG

“Winter had Hogwarts clutched firmly in its jaws now.”

~OH MY GOD THIS BEAUTIFUL METAPHOR HAS BREATHED LIFE INTO MY SOUL.

“The late autumn weather that had been struggling to stay had finally been quashed, and every morning leading up to the holidays was seen laden with snow and burdened by chilly grey clouds.”

Aflkhdsfjkjgf I come back to reading this fic after a month and I’m immediately pierced with AWESTRUCK WONDER at the quality of the writing. Holy hell, this is fantastic.

“The arrival of the holidays also brought upon the students a sense of wariness, as it was not uncommon for someone to be pelted with enchanted snowballs by people from other Houses whilst walking across the grounds, and Peeves had taken it upon himself to knock loose icicles from the bannisters outside in an attempt to impale any who hadn't the sense to watch out for the poltergeist.”

~Oh, Peeves *shakes head XD That’s so in character for him lmao

“A small explosion that nearly singed off her eyebrows made Cassie look up from her Herbology notes with a scowl, seeing Peter doing some sort of victory jig as he collected quite a few Knuts from both Sirius and James, whose faces were covered in a fine layer of soot and most of the hair on their forearms was smoking.”

~Adghjkkhdsgj I love this paragraph

“"Dunno, you're just really quiet today," he said, shrugging. "Usually you're rambling on about some weird thing at this point."

She gasped, mock offended. "That hurts, Remus."”

~AHHHHHH I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUUUUUUUUUCH. It’s this cute, platonic bantering that just LIGHTS UP MY SOUL WHEN I READ IT ASFGHKKHDSGJKFDDJKKGFK

“He ran his hands through his hair, his scars showing stark against his skin as he released a heavy breath, muttering to himself, "Could be some form of the Imperius Curse…"”

~LOVE this line. The description of the scars, the heavy breath he releases that shows his worry—adkgasjkhg it’s perfect. :)

"”Will isn't out to kill me, or whatever else you lot think he's doing," she said, her temper rising. "He's my brother. He wouldn't hurt me."

“Remus gazed at her for a long while, not saying anything, and she placed her forehead on the window they had stopped at, the cold glass numbing her skin. "I have to believe that," she said, and her voice came out in a small whisper. "I have to believe that he still cares, deep down."”

~wOw wOw WOW I love these paragraphs. The transition between her emotions—from defensive and short-tempered words in the first paragraph to uncertain, whispered, half-pleading words in the second—is done BEAUTIFULLY.

And “the cold glass numbing her skin” is a wonderful detail to add; it draws me further into the scene and allows me to imagine it in even further depth, if that makes any sense.

“They broke apart to see Marlene striding toward them, her blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail that swung like a pendulum as she walked.”

~LOVE this line, especially the simile between her ponytail and a pendulum.

“Cassie dressed in silence, her anger from the night before still clinging to her like an annoying bramble she couldn't shake.”

~NICE line agksajljssjk

“They both drank deeply before setting down their mugs, and she attributed the warmth glowing in her gut to the aftereffects of the butterbeer, and not to the feeling she had gotten whenever Sirius's eyes had met hers.”

~*screams like a dying moose* AHHHHHHHHHHHHH AFLSDJLJFSJL DJKDAGKMCCFF HCFJN GM CDGKBSSGKGDFJJV

GOD, THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS. I’ve had SUCH a crappy day today (I mean, technically the day itself wasn’t crap, but I FELT like crap the entire time), and it is SO nice to just slip into this lovely story and feel happiness just bloom in my chest. It made me laugh, it made me feel the characters’ emotions—sdhkkgs This seriously made my day, thank you a million.