gonna be serious. This family is pretty fucked

I liked the realistic feel of this story and how the family meeting is realistic, no one really does like you judging you instead from the start. It changes of course but only with time. The one I agree with most though is his mother's reaction. The saying goes a son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life and for his mother to hold this bitterness even when she's supportive is very true. She knows in the end his wife whoever it is will be the one who leads him from now on, it's very much a power game and to be the one relinquishing power no matter to whom is never easy. I'll be real the one thing I did want to see however is the destruction/mounting of crescent rose. I feel personally that the weapon in this story deserves to finally rest and a new one be forged with both of their hands. Crescent rose was and is a good weapon, but it is the weapon of a warrior handling their challenges alone, not the weapon of one who will fight alongside another. Jaune does not have this issue where ruby does, and I feel it finding a home as the true end of both their innocence as a relationship with it becoming a marriage shortly after and the fact of it symbolizing ruby's aging would have been a good finale to this story. But that is me.

Wtf man? All that & no mushy epilogue or _ years later shtick?

Sad to say but this story's really bad in-fact it can hardly be called a story.

It's more like a bunch of chapter outlines as StarwardAscent said.

there's no dialogue,no descriptions nothing to engage the reader; the writing is just dull,flat and boring.

And who in their right mind would name their kids after the Seven Deadly Sins?

I said to a friend regarding your work, "I read a College Fool story, and I'm still recovering."

Good story, well done.

This family is destined to be a 1gen thing lol.

Yes, even if it is just a summary a good story. Jaune did feel a little TOO passive at points but you did attempt to give a justification for it.
ON the part of the sisters, it would have been nice to also have somehow working in the seven holy virtues into their character. Everyone likes the sins, but few deal with the virtues. Just a small missed opportunity in a good story

Excellent story! Good work!

Huh, I would have thought the Yang-like sister would be Wrath, since her Semblance is super-rage-power.

Also, I'm not exactly sure how one would go about castrating a woman; the ovaries and uterus aren't exactly just hanging freely like a man's testes.

Anyway, this 're-write is a lot more descriptive! Will continue reading.

This is weird. It reads like you just uploaded your chapter plans instead of the finished product. Too much telling, and almost no showing at all. There's no dialogue, no descriptions, and you keep switching perspective out of nowhere. I want to like this though, it has potential.

You confused Envy and lust: Lust is the one that gives the threatening for castrating and she is the one with the failed marriages, not envy who is still a preteen.

this was one of the Deepest fanfictions i have ever had the pleasure of reading
thank you

Glad to see you're both happier with this version. It really did strengthen the experience. I've stated why this is better than the original fill throughout the story, so I don't ave anything useful to say (though you could argue I rarely do). I am curious what you think is your best romance story, if not this.

Damn this was so awesome. I can just picture the scenes coming to life. As always wonderful job Collage and Coeur.

I absolutely loved this story!