"Oh, God. No. Don't you dare" - I love John's priceless reaction to "the new members of his family." He almost seems more upset by these goldfish than by working Brett Holland's murder investigation. A great way to harken back to the aquarium scene in the first chatper, and also a nice touch that Charlie can properly say fish now, not "fiss."

"if a severed human arm didn't bother her" - Hahaha, this is such a great retort!

It's good to hear that Sadie and Maisie are on the mend, but geez, I wish Beryl and Chris could've gotten their comeuppance, somehow. Not only are there no charges against them, but Beryl turns out to be an even nastier woman than we thought. So aggravating, but that's how real life works out sometimes.

I love that John asks Sherlock to babysit Charlie when Molly goes into labor - both unexpected and touching, and also a good way to lead into your next story in this series. I'd be pretty curious myself to see how Sherlock fares when left alone with a toddler!

I love that intense opening scene, and how this time, John is the one telling Sherlock what to do and making sure that he stays focused on the most important task (reviving Maisie). All the suspense of the previous chapter continues perfectly into this one. The crack of Sadie's ribs (ooh, that made me shudder), Maisie staying limp as a doll while Sherlock tries to warm her, the detectives in the water drifting further away on the ride - each one ups the drama more, until finally, it's punctuated by Maisie's crying.

"weren't particularly interested in hearing the details on how Sherlock Holmes had solved the mystery" - Haha, I love this line! After that opening scene, it's the lol that we all needed, and it suits Sherlock's personality perfectly, too. I also love Lestrade as "the picture of masculine dignity."

Nice coming-down-from-all-the-action scene between Sherlock and John at the end (also just what the story needed). You can really see the bond between them growing even stronger from this new ordeal that they've just been through, and I love how they reassure each other ("You just saved Sadie's life," "you saved Maisie's life") and can still make each other laugh - priceless line about Sherlock's "mistress"! Hope we'll see Sadie and Maisie conscious and ok in the next chapter.

Ooh, this was heck of an intense chapter, with drama and high stakes all the way through. I love that you place John's "Tell me that baby's alive" almost in the first sentence, because that's what everyone wants to know, but tantalizingly, it's what you avoid revealing in this chapter. The perfect way to keep the drama and our attention going into the next chapter. I'm split on whether this story is going to have some falling action/wrapup towards the end, or whether it will stay intense the whole way.

I also love Sherlock's thoughts in that opening scene, how this time their usual positions are reversed and he's the one trying to keep John from doing something crazy/stupid on impulse, and it adds to it that he's not just wanting to protect John, but his family, too. Good thing he got him to leave the scene.

The conversation between Sherlock and Derrick brought me right to the edge of my seat. I kept waiting for Derrick to confess, to attack Sherlock, for Maisie to show some sign of life, for Sherlock to misspeak and provoke him in some way - although he had better control of the situation than I'd expected from him. "I can quote the periodic table in order" - yeah, this is a really useful skill, but I love how even when he's talking down an armed murderer, Sherlock still finds an opportunity to flatter himself!

Great action-packed ending scene with all three of the detectives jumping into the water after Derrick, although I was momentarily confused by who "the best man she knew" was - I initially thought John, not Lestrade, but I probably should've known better. That is one dedicated officer! I love how just as they seem to have Derrick under control and are bringing him back to shore, you raise the stakes again by mentioning Dyer's absence and the shark-infested waters - you do have a gift for last lines!

There's a lot of information to process in this chapter, which I think makes it a little harder to review, but I'll try my best. The scene of John, Sherlock, and Lestrade in the car - on one hand, I get the impression that Sherlock has been waiting for a while to explain all the ins and outs of this case, now that he's finally able to put the pieces together, and it was nice getting to see him have that big moment. On the other hand, it was so darn talky (the talkiest part of the story to me so far) and an info dump that got kinda hard to follow in places. Exposition like this can be unavoidable in detective stories, though, so I really don't have any suggestions on how to improve this.

Ha, the little interactions between John and Sherlock here continue to make me laugh in the midst of all their sleuthing - like how Sherlock just barks "Get out" at the woman in the shop while John apologizes and holds the door open for her. Always going behind Sherlock, cleaning up his social-interaction messes, it seems.

Wow, what an intense moment with Sherlock and John both jumping from the sea-wall for Derrick's boat. As impossible as Sherlock's personality can be, this really shows how much he cares about his cases and victims, that he's willing to run risks like this. And another perfect cliffhanger ending from you with that last line! Derrick's voice "barely above a whisper" makes me think there might be some regret over whatever's just happened to Maisie, but it's offset by him driving into the night with her on a blackened boat (not suspicious at all). My suspicion is that he's probably behind her limp body. I hope there's still time to save this kid, and I think there will be; killing off a toddler seems too dark of a direction for this story, but then, this story has been full of unexpected twists and turns.

This was a really meaty chapter, and possibly my favorite of the story so far, mostly because you write Beryl as such a strong, love-to-hate-her villain here. I was eager to see her interview with Lestrade and Donovan, and you definitely delivered - the whole scene kept me on the edge of my seat, waiting for Beryl to confess or accidentally reveal something. Some of my favorite bits:

"It was almost certain that he had slept with Jackie Monash" - Wow, these families just keep getting more enmeshed and making more bad decisions. I wonder how much deeper this goes.

"in some secret, vile way, pleased with her 'nice work.'" - This is where Beryl moves from just a mean character into an evil one for me (what a shame she didn't get killed along with Brett). That she can make even a seasoned inspector like Lestrade recoil creates a really strong, memorable moment.

"I was just going to... I mean, I never..." - Yeah, this doesn't sound suspicious at all.

I love the conversation between Sherlock, John, and Lestrade in the car park ("looked like she'd been mauled by a tiger," haha, how like a man). The pace really picks up when Sherlock goes white after the pathologist's call, and it doesn't slow down, ending with him typing at "lightning speed." I love how Mycroft is there for him, immediately responding to his texts with the information he needs, probably typing just as fast. Even though they're just text messages, you get a good sense of their relationship there.

It seems like the gang is close to solving this case, but I haven't ruled out some unexpected, ninth-inning twist!

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

And Bella119 is dumb.

Hybrid of Fate is nothing. She needs mental help.

cathrl, do u want to be my daddy? I won't promise to be a good girl :D

CrystalRei should quit.

Now onto the actual review:
Charlie screwed up her nose and demonstrated another word she'd learned during her recent illness. "Daddy," she said quietly. "Fiss sick."

There was a minute of silence and then everybody started screaming. :D

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

And Bella119 is dumb.

Hybrid of Fate is nothing. She needs mental help.

cathrl, do u want to be my daddy? I won't promise to be a good girl :D

CrystalRei should quit.

Now onto the actual review:
"No blood, no signs of a struggle."

Tom sang to Maria. :D

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

And Bella119 is dumb.

Hybrid of Fate is nothing. She needs mental help.

cathrl, do u want to be my daddy? I won't promise to be a good girl :D

CrystalRei should quit.

Now onto the actual review:
"Oh, God," he said.

He is an authority on criminal law. :)

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

And Bella119 is dumb.

Now onto the actual review:
Charlie screwed up her nose and demonstrated another word she'd learned during her recent illness. "Daddy," she said quietly. "Fiss sick."

He wrote the article "Interstellar Voyages with Passengers in Cryogenic Suspension. :)

Wow, what a packed chapter. You can really feel the adrenaline that they're all running on, right from that opening scene - Dyer fidgeting like he's about to take off, Sherlock rolling up his sleeves like he's about to charge into the interview. Their meeting with the Monashes was an unexpectedly tender moment in the midst of all the intensity, and "make up your own mind as to whether I'm a great detective" might be the most humble thing I've ever heard Sherlock say.

Such a lot of hard revelations in that interview with Adrian - that Siobhan was raped and that she's Maisie's biological mother. I didn't see either of those coming, and it really made me feel for both of them for Adrian to get the news this way. Beryl continues to become a nastier character, and here I was pretty glad that Lestrade and Donovan both went "bad-cop" on her. Can't wait to find out what she had to say for herself. The way you keep mentioning her interview during Adrian's was very well-done and added even more tension to the scene.

Although this chapter mostly read quickly to me, it's an interview, so it's obviously very talky. I hope there's a little less of that in the next chapter.

Wow, what an intense chapter, especially that opening. I love John's thoughts (or maybe "broodings" would be a better word) as he walks the beach. It really adds to all of their characters the way you talk about his history with Molly and Sherlock, and even though I'm fandom-blind here, it makes me curious to know more about their pasts (especially "The Adventure of the Dropped Hat," which sounds so much like a Nancy Drew title, haha). It makes him so realistic that John can be a good, happy husband and father while still getting nostalgic for "the Old Adventures," although I was pretty surprised by the mention of "Sherlock's betrayal. Molly's betrayal." Maybe that doesn't mean what I think it does - wonder if we'll find out later?

"Neither was Sherlock Holmes this unchanging..." - I love what this paragraph tells us about Sherlock, John's fondness for and irritation with him, and his influence on him. They actually remind me a lot of Vincent and Theo Van Gogh here.

Sherlock laid his hand on John's arm. "Stay here." - This is such a well-done, dramatic moment. I could tell right away what Sherlock thought they'd found and why he wanted to keep John away from it, but John's temporary confusion really adds to the tension. I also love how focused and calculating Sherlock is throughout his tension. His cheerfully announcing that he's just found a decapitated head is the perfect bit of humor to relieve all the drama.

I'm still getting a good chuckle out of Sherlock and Donovan's cover story (and I think John is too), but it seems to be really starting to grate on their nerves, and I wonder how much longer they'll be able to maintain this. Interesting twist that Donovan is pregnant with his baby now - I wonder where Sherlock is planning to go with this. Juicy new information on Beryl in there too, and I'm definitely getting more suspicious of her. "Real ball-busting bitch" isn't too far from the description we got of Sadie earlier - maybe Brett married a woman after his own mother.

I really loved every bit of this chapter. Each scene has such good characterization and interesting discussion of the case and its clues that it all kept me on the edge of my seat, even when the characters were just sitting and talking. I also think you create a kinda funny contrast between John and Molly, the real married couple with a toddler, and Sherlock and Donovan, the fake couple. John and Molly bounce their ideas off each other, John notices that she's upset before she does, Molly scolds him for not noticing the high-chair placement. (That detail really makes me curious - was Maisie not on the Marie Celeste at the time? Or was that scene arranged to look suspicious? This case just keeps getting deeper.)

Sherlock and Donovan make some progress together too, but clearly Sherlock is staying pretty tight-lipped about his theory. I wonder if he's figured the whole case out already is just keeping it to himself for now? The interaction between those two is still so funny - "always wondered what you slept in," her insisting that she'll sleep on the floor. Maisie playing with the wrapping paper instead of the toy is a good touch, too.

Interesting suspicion from Molly that Sherlock might be on drugs. I don't know how canon this is for him, but from what I've seen of his behavior, it wouldn't surprise me. It does make me curious whether something more is going on with him, although the "Nowhere on his person..." line shows how seriously he meant it when he promised John not to use.

And wow, what an intense final scene. Good move by placing it after Sherlock and Donovan watch the home video of her - make readers more emotionally invested, then have her blood-stained clothes wash up on the beach. First there's the drama that Maisie's been murdered, then the threat of evidence being ruined if the constable causes a scene, then the question of Sherlock and Donovan are going to stay on the scene and maintain their cover story. It's chapters and endings like this that make me what to read the rest of the story all in one go!

Re: your author's note, this chapter was pretty talk-heavy, but it didn't interfere with my enjoyment of it. There are some good thickenings of the plot in this one, like the question of whether or not Maisie was really adopted (I lol'ed at "the unenviable position of believing Molly or believing Sherlock") and why Brett and Sadie would lie about it if she was. Those two seem to have been hiding more up their sleeves all the time.

I'm also curious about Derrick Rice showing back up and what he didn't want the investigators to find at his place. I didn't see it coming that the Hollands had been living with him before they disappeared, and the wedding photo of Brett and Sadie really ups the creep factor and creates new questions about what was going on between the two of them, why Derrick suddenly seems to care less, how Sadie felt about him, and what in heck Sherlock has planned for tomorrow. "Obfuscate. And make sacrifices" is annoyingly vague.

Again, lots of good bits of humor in this, especially Charlie as the "Human Megaphone" and "adults who play with their food" - lol!

Laughed outrageously throughout the Donovan Sherlock situation. Good stuff.

Lestrade seems to have recovered his even keel, and in the beginning of this chapter, it's as if he and Sherlock have sorta switched positions, and now Sherlock is one getting too effected by the case (I find myself less sympathetic towards him). His snapping at Mrs. T, shoving Dyer against the wall - maybe some of this is his natural personality, but it seems a bit much even for him. It's probably frustrating that Lestrade and McMannis seem so against viewing Sadie as a suspect; with all the dark hints you've been giving us about her personality, I'd expected them to be more onboard. How like a man to want to believe the only best of a missing mother.

I love the conversation between John and Molly about Sadie's pregnancy and IVF. It's another interesting case of the different ways men and women are viewing this case. Molly immediately figures that Sadie didn't know she was pregnant and hadn't been doing IVF for so long, but she practically has to spell it out for John. If IVF had been really taxing on her, maybe that was when her relationship with Brett started to sour. I would've expected the detectives to find out sooner if Maisie had been adopted, though. Also love the way John and Molly can discuss the case and still do parent stuff without missing a beat.

Oh man, that final scene between Sherlock and Donovan was just hilarious. Good thing Sherlock dragging her out of the car didn't blow their cover before they could even get it started, because it was so freakin' fun to read. My favorite bits: suggesting Lestrade pretend to be his boyfriend, "the only Sherlock in the world," "Blind Freddy could see this one's not your wife," "tell Chambers you've been both sexually harassing me," and Lestrade loosing it in the back seat (which was where I really lost it, too). I've always wished I could write humor this well!