Oh, wow! I hope you continue this story. I feel so involved now! It was like Labyrinth meets Lord of the rings.

OMG. This was not the grand reunion I was hoping for, with Sarah tearfully sending Jareth away. Sheesh. But it’s okay. She’s got every right to be angry and need her space. Just so long as no one tries to come in and smother her again. *glares at Belinda*

I Absolutely loved the imagery of her time talking to the Labyrinth. Seriously, this story is so complex and beautiful, and the images are so visceral. You do a fantastic job of putting what you envision in to words. Whenever I read a fic like yours (it’s definitely in my top three Laby fanfics, and elbowing it’s way up in the rankings), then look over at my little work in progress, I almost want to give up. It’s like being in a high school art class with one of the great Impressionist painters; you’re feeling pretty good about your little pastoral landscape, until you look over at Monet’s painting and think, “Well, shit. Why am I even bothering?” Which is my way of saying your work is so darn good it’s intimidating. And addictive! Please write more! I can’t wait to find out how things shake out. Among my many questions:
Will Stryan turn out to be a jerk? What is up with all these magical tattoos? Will Chiara survive this story? How long before Sarah finds out Belinda is getting ditched? Will Belinda rise up to kill her horrible daddy? Smother him, girl, if you gotta smother anyone. What will Katie do? What does Miriam have up her very regal sleeve? Who is the Duchess? Will Viggu be an effective weapon for the Stench or will he bungle his mission so badly that he winds up exposing his new master? Will there be smut? Will there be a scene where Sarah rides into battle with the clans of centaurs behind her? Will Enna become the Dwarf Queen? Because I bet she’d be one hell of a queen, badass that she is. Can Mathyn be drowned in the bog? That seems especially appropriate. And can we skip the vision of Sir D and Ambrosius attacking Ludo; can that just be an alternate reality that doesn’t come to pass? And can we bring Toby underground when all the fighting ends. That kid deserves better.

Of all the revelations this chapter brought, Sarah’s matrilineage was the biggest of the whole story. I see how you’ve been building up to it and now I see why Ethan would trust her once he saw her, if she really looks so much like her mom, and why it is significant that he hasn’t seen her face yet. I’m a tiny bit worried he’ll fall in love with her and be jealous of Jareth. It’s just a tiny bit of worry. I’ll try to ignore it as I wait patiently for future chapters.

Enna is a boss. In fact, you do a great job of creating deeply emotional female characters who draw strength and power from their emotions. I love it. Yay for strong women who have emotions! Even when I don’t like them. *cough cough, looking at you, Belinda.*

Stryan is very cool. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to out himself as a bad guy or having nefarious plans for Katie, but I’m finally starting to get the idea that he’s not. I want to see more about him. Why is he so interested in Katie? Why is he stuck with Vinn? This might not seem flattering to the character, but I’m trying to figure out if he is more like Eugene from Rapunzel or Aladdin. Kinda in between? I think the lack of background, and his incongruity of his cut-throat profession and his protective behavior towards Katie (and Chiara) makes me confused and my brain decided to revert to the juvenile habit of sorting him by Disney Prince archetype. Just please don’t let him be Hans. Katie has been through enough.
On the subject of Katie... I definitely don’t wish torture or curses or being trapped in the Underground forever when you planned to just be gone a few days, but her trauma has definitely upped the ante in this story. It makes Mathyn’s darkness much more prominent and shows us just what the stakes are. I wonder if Katie didn’t have too much to live for back home, or if she’ll ever be happy in the Underground. She’s been awfully pragmatic about this all. I can’t tell how I feel about it. She definitely rages her fair share, but I’d be raging every other paragraph if I were her. But maybe she’s just too scared to rage. That’s definitely understandable.
On a different note, I appreciate your story suggestions. I’m looking forward to going back to find them, after my house recovers from the lack of attention your story has resulted in.

I’ve noticed that a lot of fics that include a hierarchy of fae royalty tend to dismiss the import or value of the non-fae creatures. Goblins are frequently not active participants in the stories (probably because they’re unpredictable and make such a mess, not unlike the children many of us may have just FINALLY put to bed, so why would want to add them to our story) and even Hoggle and company are rarely used much as characters in their own right. Which is why I want to applaud you for not abandoning them entirely as so many others have. Having them discover the rot festering around the Bog was no small feat. It was an important discovery and they got to make it, making them still important. And may I say that Didymus’ line “Come Ambrosius! We shall return to the lands which once we called home. Tallyho!” might be my favorite line in this whole story because it was so absolutely Didymus that I could see that little guy shouting it out and laughed aloud.
Then, giving them the duty of protecting poor Toby... oh, that little boy is at once the MOST unlucky (deceased dad, drunk mom, disappeared sister, sees all the creatures no one else can) and lucky boy (has three, four if you count Ambrosius, of the best invisible not-so-imaginary friends a kid could ever have). You could write whole chapters about the playful hijinks that ensue when they accompany him to school. Ludo does some cool sculptures in the sand box with a couple of quiet mews, Hoggle teaches him some choice curse words, and Sir Didymus encourages him to stand up to the school bully picking on a “fair maiden.”
And Gethin. Man. So creepy. He’s vying for 2nd worst bad guy.

At first, I thought Deirmuid was big bad guy number three, with Mathyn being two and that-ancient-evil-thing being number one. But Gethin has rapidly rising to take Deirmuid’s place. He is scary. Whew! You sure write good villains. Which is good because this story abounds with them!
And Samoth as educator for Sarah (and us readers) is great.

This was one of my favorite chapters—which I guess says a lot about your original characters, since its exclusively about them. I love the Council going over the prophesies and the prophecies themselves, I love Rhiannon’s admission about Sarah and her memories about her boys, I love Chiara and Katie comforting each other and the soul searching Chiara is doing. Just love love love it!

That battle scene did not seem like an amateur attempt, as you warned, but that’s no surprise because none of your writing feels amateur. I especially liked the interaction Jareth has with his goblin messenger, warning him off Shaylee’s kitchens. It felt very true to the interactions we see in the film. And you’ve done a great job with these dream visits, having the two slowly turn their opinions of each other around. Not to quickly, but each session adds more promise. *romantic sigh*

Thank you for the centaurs. Seriously. Centaurs are cool.

This chapter gave the reader so many great moments! Jareth and Sarah in the dream, growing in their understanding of each other... squeeee! Ethan and Jareth’s friendship, humorously illustrated during their breakfast banter. The start to Katie’s adventure in the Underground. But my favorite bit has been Naida’s visions; I’ve come back to it a couple of times as the story progressed to check in with which visions we’ve seen come to pass. Written well, all of it.

I’m coming to your AMAZING story a bit late. Which is to say, I have lost lots and lots of housekeeping productivity due to binge reading all 31 chapters. But, heck, who wants to pick up 500 toy cars and 300 mini ponies then vacuum the pet hair when there is such a riveting story to read?! I planned to write a big, detailed, heartfelt review (one practically busting at the seams with effusive praise and encouragement), but when I sat down to do it, I found myself wanting to refer to things way back here in ch 14 and figured it would be better to break it up a bit and put reviews in the relevant chapters. Hope receiving a bunch of reviews in short order doesn’t make your notifications blow up like an overzealously decorated Christmas tree plugged into a bad outlet.

First off, fantastic world you’ve made here. Rich and complex, but utilizing familiar royal-hierarchical patterns that ease us readers into the world quickly. Second of all, I think you’ve done a great job keeping the known characters “in-character”. Jareth is still too arrogant for his own good, Hoggle is still a soft hearted curmudgeon who likes to stick it to the man, Sarah is doing the best she can under awful circumstances (intriguing consequence to that damnable peach). You even get Sir Didymus, with all his over the top language, really well. Thirdly, your OC are just the best! The further I got, the more interested I became about Katie and Chiara’s story, so much that if a chapter didn’t deal with them I felt a little bummed out. I also am intrigued by all the political machinations and, while I struggle to follow it all, am excited to see where it all leads.
I love this story so much!

oh man, I hope you come back to this.

I finally got around to reading the new chapter and wow, it blew me away. especially the part where Jareth stood up to the council!
Very glad you're back!

Wow. So I'm going through some anxiety right now and I am binge reading labyrinth fics to keep my mind off reality.

I LOVE this story. And I am actually crying that I have no more to read and I am up to date. I love your OCs. Especially Katie. I'm in love with your world building and in depth characterisation. I'm in love with the whole thing. It's truly incredible.

I'm just shocked this story doesn't have more love for it. I can't wait for the next installment. Thank you for all your effort.