Ah, sorry, clicked the submit button early.

I enjoyed the beginning, with the mechanics of riding Zekrom (though it seems that the fire-type Reshiram would be the one to give off heat more than an electric-type?) and Touko's relationship with her mother. The way she was so busy apologizing that she's talking over her mother was well done.

Her reaction to her father's death seemed over-the-top in some of the description, especially since the early dialogue makes it clear that they aren't close. I had to read the section twice to realize that she fell off Zekrom. Making that more clear would make the story flow better, I think, as I was quite confused for a while about what was going on.

There's something sad about Mother's Day becoming all about her father and N, though. I'm left feeling sorry for Touko's mom and Bianca more than I am for Touko herself. The idea of promises was central to the story, but I was left feeling that Touko broke her promise to her mother by the end.

By the way, in the last sentence you have a typo, where Touko is written as Touko.

["Don't cry, my Dear. ]

So you wrote it properly in your summary but then the exact same line in your fic has random capitalization.

[Can't miss Mother's day, right?" ]

Always capitalize the whole thing. If a day's name is Mother's Day, that's how it's written. You wouldn't write John smith after all.

[with her Mom. ]

Meanwhile if it's not used as a name, it doesn't get capitalized.

["I have to leave, Bianca. I've already relinquished the title of champion back to Alder. He wouldn't have taken it, but he swore that it was only a little longer until Iris was strong enough to defeat him." ]

Why complicate things when she could just pass it directly to Iris? It's not like Alder even battles.

The scenes of this don't seem to lead into each other very well - of reasons to look for N, because there was already a promise made is probably the most lackluster. First she's concerned about neglecting her mom, then she finds out her dad dies and falls off her pokemon and almost dies, therefore she decides to leave her mom completely to go look for N because she wants to force the promise to come true. There's not much connecting the events - if she had been spending time with her mom, that wouldn't have changed her shock at finding out her dad died and her mom would still probably have called her immediately either way. The fact she almost dies herself barely seems to register for her, she just deals with the injuries her pokemon gets cushioning her fall. Then she decides to react to all this by chasing down N, then recaps the decision to Bianca then she flies off while Bianca screams at her not to go until she's out of earshot because having one loved one die means it's okay to abandon everyone else you have in your life due to N saying you'd meet again and your sudden insistence on making that happen sooner rather than later.

She definitely is upset by her father's death, but that just doesn't seem to connect to anything else about her decisions here, unless it's just that her dad's death drove her nuts and now she's fixating on things at random.

I enjoyed the beginning, with the mechanics of riding Zekrom (though it seems that the fire-type Reshiram would be the one to give off heat more than an electric-type?) and Touka's relationship with her mother. The way she was so busy apologizing that she's talking over her mother was well done.

Her reaction to her father's death seemed over-the-top in some of the description, especially since the early dialogue makes it clear that they aren't close. I had to read the section twice to realize that she fell off Zekrom. Making that more clear would make the story flow better, I think, as I was quite confused for a while about what was going on.

There's something sad about Mother's Day becoming all about her father and N, though. I'm left feeling sorry for Touko's mom and Bianca more than I am for Touko