Nice way to end this one always thought Dean didn't get enough time as a demon lol! Can't wait for the next installment.

OF COURSE. That makes so much sense why Sam wasn't able to cure Dean. And I was wondering why Soulless Sam wasn't shown totally chugging down demon blood. I still don't think I figured it out. Because obviously Dean's demonness isn't like FULL demon. It's off somehow. I still think it's because of Castiel's handprint/mark/whatever. And yeah, that's all I have on that. Lame, I know. But my eye is doing that twitching thing again and I'll have to go to bed here soon. I've been up since 4pm yesterday and it's 8pm here, the next day, so I've been up for like 28 hours. Which isn't the MOST I've been up, that was well over 36 hours, but that was when I was drinking more caffeine and worked two back-to-back graveyard shifts.

Honestly, the dynamic between the brothers is almost more fun when they hang up their issues about the whole demon-thing and the drinking-demon-blood power boost. Dean's like a perfected monster hunter and Sam's like a perfected demon exorcist. What's cool is that you really sent me a curveball at the end! I definitely didn't see this coming. Heh heh heh. And I'm pretty excited to see if Cas is in the sequel to this! Obviously I'm a bit obsessed... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

CAS! I so hope that he comes into this soon! I'm assuming so since the last chapter is the last. I'm still surprised that so few people have actually reviewed this! I thought people ate up Demon!Dean stuff. Weird. I'm till trying to figure out what exactly is going on here... My best guess is that somehow Castiel's grace, in the imprint on Dean's shoulder, is keeping him more... him? Like it's holding him down better? Then I remember you mentioning how the show pretty much just turned Dean into a raging psychopath. This feels more like the "demon" part of Dean is more or less just taking away his... not empathy... but that heavy burden of responsibility that his father left for him. I almost want to just agree with Dean, but at the same time, I have this sinking suspicion that SOMETHING is off and I'm just not getting it!

The fight between Dean and Sam was super intense and I loved it! It's been awhile since I've read a Sam that's not boring or really... not Sam, if that makes sense. Like I've some weird interpretations of Sam and yours actually stays solid through the entire story, which is a relief. Although I am definitely most excited about seeing Cas. Heh heh heh.

Dude, SO CALLED IT. Okay, the writing in this chapter actually stands alone from other chapters. It sounds SO much more fluid and confident. Like it just reads easier, like a lazy drawl that balances imagery well with internal thoughts from Sam. I actually found myself really getting drawn into Sam's "voice" in this chapter. It definitely sounded the most natural. I'm not sure if I could point out exact reasons why, though I could point out a few sentences, but I only have twenty minutes before I have to drive back home. If I didn't take the shower, I probably would have already been done with this chapter, but alas! I feel much more awake and not so delirious, which is nice.

I know that this is just under 30,000 words, which is about half the length of a novel, but if you added more story-building, changed the names, and maybe added more character development, you could TOTALLY warp this into some awesome original story. This is also the first time that I've read a story that's been in first person this long and to the point where I HAVEN'T been distracted by it. Usually it's really hard for writers to stay in once tense, which is usually past tense, but maybe this is a not-English sort of thing. I have a buddy from Bulgaria who translates her fanfiction from Cyrillic and she also chooses to write in present tense, which I can't even fathom. I'm past-tense, all the way.

But, besides the writing in general, which as I said, felt WAY more natural, I'm going to talk quickly about the interesting development you have going on with Dean. Obviously a reduction of aggression with Dean has been a HUGE amount of development for why he's so... docile? And he actually does seem more like early Dean, because he doesn't have the same burdens the later-season Dean forces on himself. Like Crowley said, Dean is more open to howl at the moon now. And you show this in a really subtle way that at first I was unsure about, because I was worried that you were going to go "nice demon" but now I'm thinking that this is closer to what happened with Crowley and Meg in terms of character development. This is still Dean, but obviously he has enough self-hatred for himself that it even transfers over to his Demon form, which makes me wonder if he feels regret, because he doesn't really show it, and yet he's obviously really open to the idea of being ganked by this goddess, Cam.

And I can totally see why Sam wants to go along. Total denial there, nerdy moose. It's easier to just accept his brother for what he is when you get along with him better as a demon than a human. Which I find hilarious and disturbing, which I'm assuming is the point. Since this obviously has multiple stories, I'm wondering how this will develop over the series. Shit, I was going to say something else, too... Oh!

Other than Dean totally fighting back against the goddess, I actually got that excited goosebumps with SUSPENSE at that, but my favorite set of lines would certainly be:

"Sam once took [off] a vampire's head with a piece of wire.

The sound of a demon tearing a girl's head [off] with its bare hands is so much worse."

Like Damn. You had more of a quieter prose that doesn't really PUNCH, which is actually a really good build up for those last few lines. I tend to do the whole single DRAMATIC sentences too much. There was a lot of good build up here to the final action sequence and the last few lines really the chapter together awesomely and tied it up nice and sweet.

PS: I am not just going to review every chapter of this story, but the other stories, and am contemplating making a community for Supernatural titled "Underdogs" for well-written stories who have next-to-nothing reviews, or reviews with little to no response. I've found that having a group of writers who you respect and love reading/writing going back and forth on each other's stories is very helpful. I only have two real readers for my work, all the other "guests" and whatnot are people I know in real life, who I begged to say SOMETHING (not very helpful, the usual "good job" blah blah blah.) and I'm pretty much writing for them and myself. I'd probably figure, if you're willing, that I'll be more than happily to review in depth all of your work, because it's worth it. Although the commission bribing is totally tempting and I may have to take you up on that offer. Ha ha ha ha.

Sam s getting LUCKY tonight, eh? And I love that Sam just avoids Cas by totally surfing the internet aimlessly. Guess who else does that? ME.

You handle non-canon characters really well! It's weird, I'm originally from the Ninja Turtle fandom (have been a TMNT fan since I could understand television.) and they REALLY hate original characters of any kind... Must be them. And OC's are usually written horribly. I guess here it makes more sense because, you know, Sam's not a hideous green mutant dude. I keep on thinking there HAS to be something more about Ashley. Because there is no way that Sam is happy with a woman unless she ends up either burned on the ceiling or a monster that he has to kill. Or Dean has to kill. Unless she's normal and Demon!Dean kills her anyways. Sam trauma!

I can tell you did a LOT of research on these Middle Eat mythological gods and goddesses. I've heard that there are thousands, I just don't know anything about them, though I did recognize Thor (obviously.) and Ragnarok. Again, the story is still a slow build, but you have enough information that's interesting that it's not really stagnant or boring. As long as you have forward, active action going on, you'll totally be okay.

Cas and bees. Ha. I can see now why Demon!Dean is so complacent. Really cool mythology you have going here. It's awesome to see pieces that I was thinking about before finally falling into place. This subdued Dean really reminds me of like a Soulless Sam. And another thing that's interesting, is that Demon!Dean, even in the show... wasn't THAT, evil, really. He just had no reservations. If he wanted to be obnoxious and sing bad karaoke, he did that. No fucks given. If he managed to hitch onto a hot lady and sleep with her, no emotional attachment. Like whatever. Good sex. And in this case, he doesn't have to bottle anything up to "spare" Sam's feelers because he just doesn't care. He's free, really. I can see why Demon!Dean wouldn't want to be free because then he'd have that pesky guilt and whatnot.

The little snips about Cas made me happy. Like the goddess trying to touch Dean's arm and him snapping away from her. That and the bees. I actually laughed a bit at that. I wish I had more plot-making advice to give you, but this sounds more advanced than anything I ever do. It's hard to get good PLOTS going in fanfiction because everybody wants the cheap thrills and don't really care about legit story-telling. Obviously you've got something building here and it's pretty cool to see unfold.

This may be the only time I've read present-tense that actually worked out really well. MY EYE WON'T STOP TWITCHING. I'm trying to think structure-wise if this is working for me or not. The problem with fanfiction, again THE genre, not the writing, is that it relies so much on the readers understanding the fandom in which you're writing. Like I totally know why what happened in this chapter happened, because I watch the show. I guess I'm trying to think more analytically, as if this was original work, but I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for. But hey, I figured... why not? You're obviously talented in the writing-division ESPECIALLY if English isn't your first language. I am awed at that, dude.

The opening scene for this chapter was Sam kind of doing internal-reflections on what's happened and the situation with his brother. Again, in fanfiction, totally works. In original fiction, you've got to be more - oh, fuck it. I can't even write a good original story. Let's just skip that because I don't want to give you "my advice" when it may or may not even help you. I'm really struggling with how to help you, but honestly, I just enjoyed this chapter. You had a good revelation with Dean, gotta love me some Demon!Dean, and it's interesting to see him not as demonic or aggressive like you see in the show. So obviously he has a bit more control overhimself here.

Action is a tricky beast to tame, but you managed pretty well here. I didn't get lost in the characters. You paced out "This character is here and does this" and "this character reacts to former character and does that" pretty well. And the touching moment with Sam just having a simple conversation at the Dean gave a lot of good character insight so we (readers) can get more of an empathetic connection with Dean and Sam's struggle. I guess my only "criticism" is that by taking out a lot of the dangerous "bite" that Dean's character potentially has as a demon diminishes a lot of conflict that could arise from this. Unless, like Sam was thinking, this is all a ploy. So I guess I'd like to see where you are heading with this. Is this really all there is to Dean? A pretty nice Demon? Or is there something more sinister and showing Dean's more manipulative side?

You've done well in giving me a few eggs to chew on, which is always good in a longer story.

I'm not going to go into great detail, like PAGES before, not because the story doesn't deserve it, but because I want to actually read the story. HA HA HA HA HA HA. I mean, read it to enjoy it and not analyze the utter shit out of it. And really, I'm not really in a position to give writing advice, I'm a sub-par writer myself. But I can give you maybe some feedback on why this fanfiction Fandom are full of idiots and aren't reviewing this well-structured freaking story.

It's not like BAM - I WANT TO READ THE NEXT CHAPTER NOW - I can tell it's a more slow boil. Like the show. Like you have this female character who clearly has something more going on. I'm actually drawn into what her backstory could be, instead of having just another face fill in the "victim" roll, which I think the writers of the actual fandom have fallen into. You also don't have raging sex scene full of lemony smut. That tends to dissuade readers. Those crazy bastards. I mean, I'm crazy, but I'm a cute and lovable crazy like Deadpool. Only less stabbing and self-mutilation. (Teehee.)

You don't have a lot of sensory/description/etc, but that works for this perspective because it's like a HARD limited omniscience from Sam's point of view. So it works. Wow, I am typing faster than my computer can type. Ugh. This is - OH, I refreshed. Much better!

Okay, so when you write with a REALLY heavy character-voice, like this, it works amazing in Fanfiction. Actually, it's my favorite type of fanfiction to read. But if you want to write original, this is really hard to pull off because you're not giving the reader so much as an EXPERIENCE, like they are physically there, as you are entertaining them in the mind of their favorite character. We as fanfiction writers have it easy. The characters are given to us, along with the plotlines, world-mythos/story, fanbase, etc. I guess I'm telling you this because you obviously have a good grasp of how words come together to make a good story. Like this SOUNDS really nice in my head.

Please don't take the lack of response to this story as being disheartening. You obviously have a talent with writing and it can be easy to be disappointed when you don't have much feedback on your work, even if it is fanfiction. I understand. (relentless sobbing.) But from what I've seen of your one-shots, you've got your style down and it's a fun, easy read. Now I'm going to pay more attention to how you build the story in general, I guess.

Eh, I already said that it was a slow, but the prologue introduces her brother, Oliver, and the general situation pretty well. Like I said, I'm awful at actual criticism or analyzing writing when I'm a (not new, horrifyingly) a EH writer myself. Eh, as in the onomatopoeia "eh" and not an acronym for... Eating Homo-sapiens or something... Stage one of delirium review complete, onward!

Ooh I love it! The demon and the blood junkie taking on evil (apart from themselves! Lol)

Can't wait for part two!

And I am happy to help!

I knew it! lol Love this chapter! I am curious though about how exactly Dean managed that! Can't wait for the next update

Sammy deserves to have a little fun! Although why do I get the feeling that there is something more afoot!

I love the complex relationship between the boys!