I tried reading this story I really did but the verbal tic and the Mary sue was to much for me, as an author your writing was good but development I couldn’t stand

Guessing you don't know what twin means kokoro

Yaaay pocky!

So boring so far. And her verbal tic is so forced. The author just seemed to want to give their MC a bit more flavor. Which is a terrible way to go about making a character interesting.

i would love a kakashi pov

i hope everything works out

its so deep now

kokoro has the legendary forbidden sss rank technique that has changed history countless times...TALK NO JUTSU

CRINGE!

The world revolves only around the MC and she can do no wrong. What do you call such a character... hmm

The story is lacking in seriousness. The original Naruto setting was way more serious and all those stupid "jokes" she is cracking is beginning to annoy me. Its not that the jokes themselves are annoying, its just that they clash with the setting and situation of the story. They are on a fucking mission and she is playing word games and dragging conversations out like a retarded girlfriend.

Its as if the MC is the only real human being and everyone else is just a puppet played by her. She is also an attention whore.

I want to mention that I really enjoy your story, i just don't usually do reviews about stuff that is good but about stuff that I think could have been better. One example here is the fact that most actions from other characters, no the MC are just reactions to something the MC did. Which makes those interactions look slightly unrealistic.

Sasuke giving in and acting like a sissy and having zero pride... its a little out of character. Sasuke in cannon was no emotional faggot. It was a matter of love, pride and duty for his clan and dead family that drove him. Not "loneliness, sadness" and stupid shit like that played no role in that.

This "protectiveness" combined with the dog thing is a little bit cringe.