| Reviews for Return of the Potters- Book I: The Order Of The Phoenix |
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Alicia Janae Alexander chapter 20 . 1/7 It was good when will you start updating your books? |
Guest chapter 1 . 10/15/2019 Trying to find a good story about james and lily being there for harry is like finding a good harry potter fanfiction that is completed (it like looking for a needle in the ocean) thought I found one but read half a the first chapter and got lost then I read the reviews and they say it gets more confusing so I'm giving up on this one might come back later |
spnfan2005 chapter 15 . 6/11/2018 love it please write more |
hkelley1992 chapter 1 . 3/8/2018 This first chapter is incredibly disjointed and confusing as if you have started in the middle rather than at the beginning |
lilly-flower15 chapter 20 . 3/8/2018 Great chapter update soon xoxo |
Isabeziers chapter 16 . 6/5/2017 I don't get it... Amelia was at Grimauld Place, they talked. She is part of the Ancient and noble houses that made the alliance. Ans now they are explaining to her that Sirius is innocent although she new the whole story already. It doesn't make sense. You tend to mix en repeat a lot. The story in itself is good, but the way you write it is going back and forth... Petunia, Vernon and Marge where at Grimauld Place, then Dudley stayed. And later on it's as if they never were and everything is explained again... |
lilly-flower15 chapter 19 . 1/7/2017 Great chapter update soon |
fons19 chapter 19 . 1/6/2017 I think it may take half the time for percent to come back to his family with the right attitude and what they should do is have percy protected from the death eaters because he can't go against and they will need him in the end in any case. So the more protection he has the more chance he has of redeeming himself and getting over his pride |
mckertis chapter 1 . 12/11/2016 This is unreadable. There doesnt seem to be any cohesion in this story, just random gibberish. |
lilly-flower15 chapter 18 . 8/31/2016 Great chapter update soon xoxo |
smallwjl chapter 6 . 8/30/2016 ok so I will say this, I like the idea you are going with. but I'm really hoping you will take what I say as something constructive and not blatant attack. I think the structure if most of this is quite repetitive. I think it would be in your best interest to have a beta go through and really help you create a better flow because like I said you have a good story here. I really think it just needs another outside source to help you refine it to what you are trying to portray. |
Lilykees chapter 17 . 8/27/2016 Loved it |
setokayba2n chapter 1 . 8/27/2016 Sigh, I forced myself in the first chapter... The introduction seemed good, but the chapter was not that good, sorry. |
BunyipBudgie chapter 17 . 8/25/2016 Enjoyable as this story is could you please not waste our times by copying huge chunks/most of the previous chapter into the start of the next chapter. The length of this chapters prologue is a ridiculous 5,007 words out of a total of 10,809 words! Either preferably NO chapter prologue? or a synopsis no longer than 100 words. You do not need to destroy your storeys word flow by this ridiculous method of inflating your storey word count. Asides of all this the storey is well done. Bunyip |
lilly-flower15 chapter 17 . 8/24/2016 Great chapter update soon |