Not bad grammar. Your "plot" is a little bit dull. Quite frankly, you lost my interest. We don't want to read about two random girls we've never seen before, so try to make us like them before you have them fall in love. That way, everyone is rooting for them and you have a better connection with your readers.

Your pretty decent, actually. I only found about three mistakes and they were small enough for me to fix in my head. Good job!

Also, may I ask where you hail from?