Reviews for Used To Love You
Nick chapter 1 . 10/29/2018
"Music therapy sessions..."
One of my favorite singers is Melody Gardot. She was sort of a struggling artist who sang fast stuff. Then she was hit by a car and suffered brain damage. She has, I think, some short-term memory problems, but in particular a sensitivity to loud sounds and bright lights. This yields her smoky glasses, which to me make her look gorgeous and mysterious at once.
Being a musician, they worked music therapy with her. She can't do the fast music she was doing anymore, but in working with her they found she could do a slower-paced soft style. This has yielded some incredible stuff from her. When I listen to her and close my eyes, I can picture myself in smoky Rick's, with a game going on in this corner and some nefarious deal going down in that corner, and Rick patrolling in his tux making sure the chaos stays organized, all to the lovely soft-voiced sounds of Melody Gardot.

"The only thing blues music has ever done for me is make me want to shag..."
Madam, how dare you! Whilst hymns can be quite nice (sometimes to teasingly poke fun of, I greatly like singing, "Christ the royal ma-a-ster, leans against the phone...") and possibly my favorite song ever is "Amazing Grace", the blues be heaven's own music piped down to us directly.
They lift you up. They level you out. They center you in turmoil. They carry you to, if not peace, at least a dulled pain in the midst of heartbreak. They lift you above the moment in annoying traffic. They take your mind off the heat. They speak the simple truth of the complexities of life - that life is both pain and pleasure, that you never completely have one without the other, that the need for love results in a sort of mild masochism as we chase it and usually fuck it up - "Mr Johnson, your wife's been cheatin' on us..."
Lyrics aside, even dirty blues transcend the simple hedonistic physical. From the dulcet Texas twang to the delta moan to the Chicago whine - the blues, baby.

"He's very drunk and demanding to see you."
Hey, Ste-llaaaaa!

I don't know if this is unique to Biospec or if it's solely your take, but your Biospec is so rarely kind to Coulson. That's not a criticism, just something I note. Sometimes it's amusing.
I mean, were I Coulson in these fics, I probably would not be very amenable to someone I considered a traitor, either. In fact, if I did simply consider him a traitor without considering the complexities of it, I know I wouldn't be. I cut Ward slack because of his experiences and the fact that he was basically made into a sociopath, first by family and then by Garrett finishing the job (though I don't consider him a full sociopath and certainly not a psychopath), but...citizen life is not black and white. All this second-chance business.
There is a way of operating that is very simple - pass-fail. If someone will stick me once, they'll stick me again.
To operate in the knowledge that people can change if they want it bad enough is very hard, because it means giving second chances. A second chance to steal from me. A second chance to stick me. Trust is risky. My trust in the first while is an egg - easily broken, difficult to put back together. Only with time does my trust strengthen - given enough time, my trust is steel, capable of withstanding great strain and retaining shape. But only with time and proving in. And so I do for others - give it time, strive to prove in. If you can't be counted ON, you can't be counted IN.
This presumably is where Coulson stands with Ward at any given time post-uprising - no personal tolerance of traitors. (I can see that pretty well. Though I do tend to paint my take of Coulson as a bit more trust-but-verify, depending on which point in canon we're at. Sometimes I see him unforgiving. Sometimes I see him as practical, given enough time - he knows revenge will not do anything, won't even ease his pain, and also knows Ward is not so much a Sith lord as a broken toy. Ward can be fixed, given the right approach. There is just enough still inside him that can be gently coaxed out and mended. I sometimes see Coulson as just spymaster enough to put personal feelings aside and focus entirely on the practical - he cares about his people, but never loses sight of the fact they are SHIELD agents, there for the good of the whole. And the good of the whole, in my take, means working to fix Ward.
I could always be wrong, though.)

"Maybe, she muses, you can never really move on from certain things."
Um...yes? No? It very much is a maybe, I agree. An "it depends". Very situational, very dependent on circumstances and factors and degrees of severity.

"Someone needs to diffuse the situation, and I promise you I'm the only one who can."
Nonsense. I like Ward being kept around, despite how the writers messed him up, but in real life this would be prime for target interdiction. One "send it" command later, scratch one traitor. Problem solved.

"Quoting Proverbs?"
In some ways, Psalms and Proverbs are the most useful books of the book.

Hmm? So Will came back in this? Very intriguing. Much potential with that angle.

I'm trying to think of what this feels like. I want to say the truce meeting in "The Warriors", but the more I think about it the more I'm reminded of the initial tension of the proposition of "Assault On Precinct 13". It's like the air in a meeting of gangs or one-percenter clubs. A sense of anything can pop off at any second, in the blink of an eye you can die. It's probably more memory than anything, but I definitely felt it.

"I'm not drunk..."
I'm not as think as you drunk I am!

"...some histories can never stay buried and some love it never dies..."
Hurt may never completely go away, but it can dull to manageable. So too the love that spawned it, so that neither is an insurmountable obstacle to the future.

That last paragraph...you do have some steamy fics that are temperature-raising (the ice caps are melting because of you), but I love the most, kinda equally, A. your sweet fics, and B. this kind of fic right here.
Bravissima, piccola pistola.
cmr2014 chapter 1 . 1/13/2018
Ward and Simmons? That sound you hear is my mind exploding from trying to grok it.

Twice now you have introduced a concept I never imagined. I'm going to bet a pattern will emerge.
DelusionNyssa chapter 1 . 1/22/2016
Why was Grant drunk? Wedding anniversary or miscarriage? I love the fact he was still protecting her even when they are on other sides.
silverslitherer chapter 1 . 12/4/2015
So cute and sad. Wonderful job.
bhut chapter 1 . 12/4/2015
This was bittersweet, (and maybe darkly humorous) tale. Please try to develop it some more. This sort of Grant/Jemma is very interesting, aye!