I'm really into weird, experimental stuff. I really loved this, I thought it was beautiful, if a bit confusing. Bit of humour, bit of darkness - just the right amounts. I enjoyed the dialogue at the beginning, though I think it would have been nice to close with that again just so it comes full circle. I didn't spot any errors.

This was intriguing and ever so slightly strange. It didn't really feel like a Harry Potter fic until the mention of the Peverell brothers near the end. I never really thought of death being in love with life but I really like the idea. It was refreshing to have death feel pity for the poor souls he has to take to the underworld as death is often viewed as cold and remorseless.

Oh my gosh, I freakin' love this story! Yes, it is one of the stranger ones, and it seems like it should be dark too, yet it didn't feel dark to me at all. I really like the way you've written Death, Life, Pestilence, etc. with such human qualities (although I'm sure they'd bring their wrath down upon me for comparing them to "these fragile creatures"). The scheming and interaction between them felt so playful and fun, especially Pestilence's plan for revenge after the humans begin outwitting her.

There was also a lot of good intrigue in all the different references that you make: the Four Horsemen from Revelations, the geography of the afterlife world from Greek mythology. It made it a fun guessing game to see what would come next; I was kinda expecting to see the Nine Circles of Hell from Dante's Inferno. I think the only ones that I didn't get were the Old Norse names. I'm very impressed by how well-read you seem to be in ancient mythology, as well as by how you can take story ideas that seem so "out there" and make them so readable and fun. The segue into Beetle's Tale of the Three Brothers at the end is just perfect. I wish I could think of one helpful thing to say, but darn it, I can't!

The opening here sounds really intriguing, though I sort of wish I knew who was talking. It sounds like there would be a narrator, almost, for this story, but I guess not, and there's a lot of jumping around, so it's hard to tell where the first dialogue exchange fits in with everything.

I really like how you weave the mythology so neatly into the Harry Potter universe. It took me a moment to realize that "mage-training academy" was Hogwarts (because I'm slow), but I immediately recognized the Whomping Willow and the Marauders. It's lovely how it's woven into mythology, and I really like a lot of the lines here, like [It's not the tree's fault, of course. The tree is but a tree.] And the "harmless" prank. Darn War doing his job! *grumbles*

That first poem, I just love it! It's very pretty and flows wonderfully, and I can see it being used at the start of some sort of high epic adventure. It's marvelous.

This seems to be more Death/Pestilence than Death/Life, admittedly, but I do like your portrayal of the horsemen. xD The way they view humans and the mortal world is lovely and very much what I would expect, and I love War's response to him visiting the mortals.

Oh, that next section. It's so beautiful, and I just want to gush over it, because it's just so lovely. :3

I really like the idea at the end, that humans become the ultimate plague and that was Pestilence's plan all along. [And she will do nothing. Because she is Pestilence.] - Gosh, I love this line, just the way it's built up to and delivered and everything. It really packed a punch.

There's that sort of narrator voice in the end, and I like the way it's wrapped up. Oh, those foolish Peverell brothers. I love the sort of ending as a start for some other, larger adventure, too, and it ties right back into Harry Potter rather well.

Even though we get short glimpses of scenes, it does tell, almost, a rather complete story. I loved the creativity of it, though, and it was very well-written. :3

One of your weirder things indeed. I'm not familiar enough with Harry Potter anymore to know exactly where the line exists between canon and original here, so please ignore anything stupid I say :-)

I like the first section the most out of this piece. I love how it's deep but also very human and sounds like a real conversation. Plus, you can just hear the British accents as they're talking. Lovely.

The almost poem-like sections were very nice as well. Really, all of this was quite nice. Very strange, but very nice. Pestilence seems neat. I'm not quite sure how this is a Harry Potter fic rather than mythology-inspired original, but that's the only criticism I can come up with. Lovely work, Lamia :-)

Wow, there is a lot going on here! I love the way you have incorporated mythology into your piece. I particularly liked the way that the dragon, the squirrel, the deer and the wolf of Norse mythology parallel James, Lupin, Sirius and Peter. The whomping willow and the world-tree was also a neat parallel.

However, I didn't like the way you used both Norse and Greek, as well as where ever the four horseman originated (book of revelations?). I think it would have been stronger if you picked one mythology and stuck with it.

[Once upon a time, Death fell in love with Life...] This is a fantastic, striking line. A great way to begin the piece.

Cheers.

I wonder who's talking right at the beginning...

Okay, this is getting a little weird – the mix of Christian Horsemen of the Apocalypse with Norse mythology is odd, I've never seen that done before. So Pettigrew Ratatoskr, the squirrel who runs up and down the branches of Yggdrasil carrying insults between Nidhogg and the eagle at the top; James Nidhogg, which is a little confusing because Nidhogg is a dragon, but there are also deer who gnaw at Nidhogg's trunk...I have no clue what Duneyrr is – Sirius, yes, but in Norse mythos...
So Remus is Fenrisulvr, I'm assuming from Fenris/Fenrir, son of Loki? Where does the 'ulvr' bit come from? Is it from 'ulf' for wolf? That seems slightly redundant – Godwolf-wolf :P

I really like the little poems.

Ha, of course the rampant spread of humanity is part of Pestilence's plan.

That little bit at the end, the 'three brothers', I like that. But I thought that the Peverell brothers were supposed to have come across Death at least a thousand years ago or so, when humanity hadn't yet become a plague?

Okay, that was a very interesting tale and I enjoyed it a lot. I never really thought of Death as being in love with Life, but it works and is quite intriguing. I love how you basically said that humanity has grown because Death is a lazy bastard XD

I feel like I should recognize the two people speaking at the beginning. From the second passage I want to say at least a part of this is from the Marauders' era, with the four marauders playing in their animal shapes at the tree and such. I like the way Pestilence looks at everything going on and how she/it feels about what happened between Life and Death.

I also like how Death comes to love life when 'he' goes to the world and actually looks at the beauty there instead of just taking some poor unfortunate souls back to their section of the underworld. But then the Brothers mess it up by disturbing the special tree he sleeps under. And so the cycle of death continues...

Spag: [basic rules natural order] I think a word is missing here.

Whoa, this is interesting, with the parallels and all. Did the names (of the four men) come from mythology?

Ah, there's the HP at the end. Up until that, I was thinking maybe I should suggest you put it on Fiction Press or something instead because it felt so much like an original piece rather than like HP fanfic.

Anyway, I this was pretty neat. I liked how you gave such personality to a number of characters, like Pestilence, War and Death in so few words. I could really feel distinct differences in between them and I quite liked that since I know it can be hard to make everyone so different when you have so many characters in just a bit less than a 1000 words