Damn it, computer misfired and sent that too soon-scratch that last sentence I wrote. Wrong chapter.

Here are some faux pas for you to fix up:

It's tether not teether. That would be a nuk! Pretty sure everyone in this story's past that stage!

Also 'down the alley they had come' not 'had came.'

"...any indication as to if...' should be 'any indication as to whether...' much less awkward.

'colours soon became undistinguished' should be 'indistinguishable'

'infact' is two words not one. 'In fact, ...'

'peak' or tip of a mountain, is a noun, not a verb, the verb is 'peeked' to peer. I know English sucks.
Forestry is the study of managing woods. Just use the word forest there.

Didn't expect the boy to turn up in a cave. This should be fun. Woof indeed!

Pity...

There is no 'strided,' there is only 'strode.'
It would be more normal to say "I forgot, demons etc.." rather than I forget. I forget why.
Just curious, but why did you say "returned his hand to the side of him" when you could have just said "returned his hand to his side"?
'There will be no eternal rest for me (not I.)"

This was quite funny. I found myself laughing out loud at I think about all this is there is no way you could have wrapped up everything in a single chapter unless that chapter is as long as War and Peace, so I guess you've lost interest in this.

Pity, that. Best thing you've written.

"He had *known* it was there (not 'had knew') Also "...walked back the way he had come... (not 'had came') you seem to know *when* to use past perfect but seem to have difficulty knowing the actual form it takes. A good dictionary could solve that, as well as a quick google.)

Anymore didn't used to be a word but it is now (I know this because I just spent 30 seconds typing 'any more or anymore?' into a search engine.) This is what happens to language when you live long enough to see it happen(disgusted sigh.) And it's never an improvement either.

I was expecting (hoping?) Undertaker would be the Angel of Death himself. Is he going to come back in a different outfit? Or will I be disappointed?

I forget exactly what Cain and his contractor's contract terms are even though I read their story a while ago now. Now you have me all curious.

I love the way the chapter ended.

"...lurk (not lerk) within Hell."

A terrifying expedition. What has our demon got himself into this time?

Multiple of knife is kniVes.

This is one that belongs in that dictionary I mentioned a while back: floors only happen inside buildings and houses. If your scene is outdoors what a character hits when he falls is the ground. This never changes unless one might find themselves looking at a Roman or English Cathedral ruin where the entire building is gone but the floor still exists. Then it is acceptable to call that a floor since it was once in a building.

What a fabulous tale this is. I never would have thought you could hold a reader spellbound with something like this, but I could no more look away from the memory playing in my imagination than I could if it were real and playing right before my eyes. Fascinating. I've learned an interesting thing in this chapter, thank you.

Wonderful stuff.

The continual irritation going on between Sebastian and his father keep everything in delicious turmoil. It makes for such a rich tapestry, I do not get tired of the interactions.

You really can't trust this Timekeeper fellow can you?

Clung, not clang.
You keep using the word 'provide' (to give what is needed), for the word 'prove' as in 'prove useful.' This is related to the phrase 'the proof (similar to prove) is in the pudding.' This is proof in the form of evidence. You can you see that 'evidence' and 'providing for someone's needs' are not alike. yes?

To 'proof' yeast or dough is to introduce sugar so any yeast present may grow. Introducing the sugar activates the yeast and shows whether it will 'prove useful' or not in making bread. By showing growth it 'proves' the yeast is viable, alive. This is called 'proofing yeast', and must be done whether for making beer or bread. A housewife may 'provide' her daughter a bowl, a packet of yeast,' warm water and sugar so the daughter may 'proof' their yeast while the older woman carries out other kitchen chores. The words are not the same, are, in fact, not even close in meaning.

The only way 'provide' would work in that sentence is if you added the word 'information' to the end of it like this: 'now if he were to see them, that could 'provide useful *information* to the new lord of Hell.'

Okay enough of that editing crap-. This. This story is beginning to come together in a wonderful way. I love them working through the clues and Sebastian brainstorming until he's got what Ciel is so afraid of. Well done!

It was fun... well, sort of.

Goodness, they get no relief at all do they? Well, I suppose that's good storytelling, but I find myself pitying and wishing more happiness for them than this...

Peered, not peared. That would be a verbal, having to do with the fruit...somehow.
Radiant, not radiate.
Relaxed not laxed.
Leaves, not leafs.

Good grief, when you set out to make interesting OCs you don't mess around, do you? These occasional misspelled words, they mean nothing. Anyone can put their mind to it and learn to spell and to sort out the homophones. homonyms homographs and heteronyms. But when you can write the way you do? Not just anyone can do that.

*Your* earth is such an interesting place. Please don't stop writing about it.

when you develop a liking for something or someone it or they "grow on you" not the other way around. Gloves could not have Sebastian grow on them because gloves are not alive. They would need to be sentient for them to gradually become emotionally attached to, for them to grow a feeling of attachment for Sebastian, for him to grow on them, which is what you wrote. Gloves 'have grown on him' because his liking for them has increased.

You did an excellent job illustrating how Sebastian or Ciel-and indeed how anyone, can wiggle out of almost any law or command.I am very eager now to get back to the cave and the Hunter. Has he committed poochicide?

Missed one in the previous story 'finally getting some lead way" I think you meant to write/use 'leeway' except 'leeway' has nothing to do with collecting a lead on something you're pursuing as you're using it. Should be more like '...finally getting a lead' or clue, something like that. Leeway means 'room to move' and can be literal or figurative. But it doesn't mean uncovering useful clues or finally having one of your leads in a mystery panning out.

Also there is no such word a 'sweared'. There is only 'swore' and 'sworn.' And I'm pretty sure no one has ever, in the whole history of asses, ever fallen 'to' their ass. To their knees, yes. But when falling and when asses are involved, you fall 'on' it. The other just sounds far too odd.

Another excellent chapter full of surprises and action. just needs a tweak here and there. The characterisation is spot on which is an accomplishment since you're taking our two familiar characters far out of their usual comfort zones. Yet they're still recognisably Sebastian ans Ciel. Well done. Looking forward to the next chapter to see who's grabbed them now.

"The boy you're talking about? I believe I know who you're talking about" is poor construction when it comes to writing.
Happens in real life all the time but inwritten English they expect you to rephrase one of those mirrored phrases. Time to get the thesaurus out if necessary. I can give you an example but come up with one you're comfy with. I believe I've seen you do this before too so keep onthe lookout for this when you edit your own stuff and take the time to rephrase one of them: 'thwe biy you mentioned? I think I saw him.' or 'The boy boy you were talking about? He was here I think, (however many) weeks ago'

Something like that is fine. Repeatig a prhase like that withing a sentence or two isn't.

Continues to be an exciting read.

I'm relatively sure this is correct, but do check it:. where you wrote '...parlour Undertaker had ran...' I believe the correct conjugation is 'had run' for past perfect. But do check. I'm usually right on such things, but I can make mistakes too like anyone else.

Ciel, eh? Well it was either that or he would reappear and play detective too. Excellent. A very effective cliffhanger as well.