Wow. I find myself at a loss for words for this. I don't normally read fics with such short chapters but by golly, this is beautiful. The grammar, while not perfect, does an excellent job of portraying thoughts and your descriptions painted a really wonderful and lively picture. I'm glad to see you're planning to keep writing this, even if it won't be very long, because I really do enjoy it.

Wow. Um, holy shit. I don't know how to critique this. I'll try, but damn. I've never been this stumped before.

It was definitely an enjoyable read, though all the bird references were confusing as hell to me. What do birds have to do with any of this? I can't figure out why this chapter is so full of them.

It was fun to read for sure, but one thing I found annoying was that even though I know it's from Yuuki's perspective, there's literally no evidence that it is. In the first chapter she talked about Asuna's blue eyes, which was enough, but in this chapter we don't have anything like that to show that this is Yuuki.

Although I say this every time, your stories are way too freaking short. They're of a high quality rarely seen on this site, but they're so short that barely anyone gives them enough time to realize it. With this fic the short chapters sort of make sense with the style, so it's not too bad, but with some of the others, I can see ways you could have easily combined chapters to make them bigger. Your description is good enough that your scenes are about as long as they need to be, so I can't usually tell you how to make them longer, but for most of your stories where there's an actual narrative (so not this one), you need to start putting more than one scene in a single chapter.

Anyway, respond at our usual place if you feel like it.

Nice. I can tell this was going for an introspective approach, and I like it. You were right; in some parts, the grammar doesn't make sense. But when you consider the fact that the whole chapter is introspective, and thus focuses on thoughts, none of the oddities are quite glaring enough to deserve a mention.

Is it just me, or did you improve again in the time you took away from FFnet? Seriously, I actually felt like we were taking a stroll through Yuuki's mind for this whole thing, like we were being shown her innermost thoughts. That was fairly impressive for sure.

Enough out of me; let's just hope that this continues, whether as one-shots or as a full-fledged multi-chapter fic, I don't care. I'm just loving this approach.