Loved the story!

So excited you squealed?... Awww. Well, it's always exciting for ME to hear someone enjoyed my story. Over the years I've been most appreciative of feedback and suggestions from readers (negative & positive) because a person who takes the time to write me often has something to say that's worth consideration. I've rewritten some aspects of this story based on feedback... and honestly there is a more work that should still to be done. One reviewer who seemed to like it overall notes how it drags a bit in parts. Many haven't bothered to find fault because they were pulled in by the sweeping love story saga, dialogue, or character development. But I admit parts are still sloppy and poorly written. Hey, I initially speed wrote this monster length thing (with a word count even higher than 'War and Peace') in quick spurts over a 6 month period - & with no one to proofread or help edit before I just posted it 'as is'. LOL. This story and short spin-off idea for AU Vegas Sheppard & McKay (just a single chapter published on that) are the only fanfics I've ever written. The last couple years a vocal fan of my original Sci-Fi writing inspired me to refocus on that project and keep the material coming ASAP because he had to know what happened next. So creatively I've been more focused on that giant opus (my own original space opera saga) -meant to be a trilogy but now looking more like 5-6 books. Yikes it's long but so worth it -awesome sci-fi, an amazing story, and writing of caliber far beyond this dabbling. Still, I do like coming back to this fanfic to improve it time to time because it reminds me to stay playful with my writing/not get hung up on perfectionism (that leads to writers block). A spirit of writing for simple enjoyment is easy to slip into here and it helps me stay away from getting overly serious. BUT... back to YOUR IDEA: I totally think it's intriguing and interesting - a well deserving story to be told that makes me wish I could forgot the rest of my life and disappear into a Stargate wormhole held open indefinitely by a black hole. Er, well, maybe I need solar flare too so I could just jump back in time to where I left of... I have a thought about what it might take to make your idea a reality: I'd love to spend days and nights making timelines for the puzzle of this tale and gleaning all relevant info from SG1 & SGA to give me my roadmap, but unfortunately most of writing lately is work related and super time sensitive (no fun at all). BUT given how excited you seemed, I wondered if you might be interested in collaborating a bit? Say, researching and watching needed eps again, contributing ideas for the outline needed to put the story structure together? I tend to get inspired by another's enthusiasm. And with a little help I think I could squeeze time in here and there, justifying the project as a needed relaxation from the heavy workload on my plate these days. If you're a writer as well, I also welcome more direct contribution. It may not be a fast process, but if you are inclined to conspire on a side project when we can find the time, we might have fun chipping away at more of the hidden mysteries of Rodney's life. Meeting Alex obviously corresponds with the evolution of his fallout with Jeannie and his increasing isolation, but there is so more emotional development to invent/explore. I liked weaving real story plots and action with the inner personal and emotional aspects. Think I said Alex worked with him in Russia but vague on details? I'm gleefully imagining missing scenes from eps that tie in with Russian subplots, Rodney's return to US (with Alex)... maybe even leading right up to that chair moment in Antartica... since this one open's with John's POV for a while before we get to Rodney and wonder WTF about his emotional damage. Well, maybe skip a bit forward here and there since he broke up with Alex 6 months before Antartica? Could be a good prequel... Anyhow, If this sounds fun, let me know. It's all about fun and enjoying the process, whatever the process. Except maybe when it comes to writing legal briefs. Then maybe the best I can do is try to maintain perseverance and a degree of serenity. Hahaha PS. Not sure if you're imagining hyper angst or a more robust story? Actually, I cut some darker scenes from this story (kidnap chapters) because speed writing I tended to get pretty detailed. Unless one is writing pure torture porn, in the end less is more because imagination is worse than giving every disturbing fact. Do you agree? Understanding the impact and feelings of emotion is more compelling to me. I'm an angst queen for sure and can write darker than than most can imagine but disturbing topics here for the sake of plot not to revel in macabre (maybe also some personal catharsis found in writing about transforming past pain?). But if I was being paid for dark pleasures, I am easily capable of writing deeply horrible things, especially if they were characters on a show I hate. Cough, Supernatural. Don't hate me for admitting that, I know y'all love that show. But money would need to be really good to dip into that fandom. I'm a busy gal.

Thanks for calling my request interesting! I practically squealed when I saw you reply. I'll watch out for updates!

Wow thanks. It's nice to know it's holding up for you. I've made a few additions and edits here and there over time, new chapters... When I have time again there's more I'd like to improve. Interesting idea about a Rodney backstory. Dares to plummet the darkest depths of my twisted angsty tendencies, oh my! Might be too much unless done carefully. This story was meant to be a perfect canon puzzle piece without deviating from the storyline at all - filling in the blanks of a backstory that could be... explaining the crazy obvious connection between Sheppard & McKay. I often have a Stargate episode in the background and was recently noticing some things about Rodney's earlier introductions in SG1 that could be explored. I found myself also speculating about the exact timelines between McKay's exile to Russia and length of stay before rearing his head again back of Cheyenne mountain a tad less arrogant in his attempts to connect with Sam Carter. Obvious questions of the relationship timeline with Alex and sister fallout are additional puzzle pieces to be to stitched together just so.. Id' have to do meticulous research on the timeline because I'm super anal that way... especially the sequence of Russia stories (like Watergate and others) to see when McKay was there and how he would have been involved even if not seen onscreen... IF there was to be retaliation against Alex I think I like the idea of that alternate McKay who married Sam Carter somehow escaping his unwelcome fate to another reality, transforming his identity through some involvement with this matter (maybe he had a past with Alex too? Maybe that Alex died but the one living in the original canon universe gets his due form another McKay?). The consciousness sharing stones - my minor upgrade to the more simple consciousness swap stones are a good device for things that could impact the character and memories of one person to another between alternate universes. I've dabbled a bit with ideas to explore the alternate versions of themselves, plots intersecting with both tragic and victorious outcomes. The pair at the end of THIS story seem to have found some peace and closure. Not sure THIS Rodney needs John to go after Alex? After hunting down and killing those other guys, it doesn't seem as moving to go beat up the abusive ex. I didn't want to do John with revenge/rescue overkill. Especially since Rodney finds his own power again and heals, strong enough to do what he deems right about the past. But you are right that Alex deserves a horrible fate and many have said that they wish to see this written, haha. But as a puzzle to solve, your idea beyond just punishment, rather doing a full backstory is far more interesting to me (and one in which Alex of course gets his due in the end).

Oh my God, I finished this story ages ago and it still has me hooked ;–; I may get attacked for this, but can you write a story of Alex's and Rodney's past (Make sure to put an address for Alex, so I can hunt him down )

Thanks so much for the feedback :) I'm glad you liked it and I'd also be curious about the parts that stood out as dragging a bit. Though I'm working more on original stuff these days, I come back and work on my rewrite of this story occasionally because it was a speed write without editing when I first published it. I'm almost half done with rewrite ...some of my self imposed structure/rules created problems but I'd be really curious if the problems you noticed are the same as the ones I already see?

Oh my god. It took me two days to read this story. It was amazing although it did drag at a few points. I'm glad to have read it. Thank you so much for creating this wonderful piece of fiction.

Thank you so much! I always appreciate it when someone takes the time to let me know they enjoyed reading this very long tale. I always wanted to write a John & Rodney love story that stayed true to Canon and explained all the homoerotic tension between them in the show.. It definitely was a labor of love to make sure all the episodes and timelines fit together :)

I just finished reading...epic story! I love how you worked John and Rodney’s love story into so many of the episodes. Perfect. Thank you for writing this labor of love.

...written to conform to Canon.
Thankfully, Season 5 is the end of the Canon-era plots. John and John & Rodney will soon embark on a different journey. There is one slight reversal at the onset (2 chapters), but it only serves to provide the backdrop for many enticing chapters as their love story finally progresses and comes together. in a very satisfying way. (I think those chapters of are some of my favorite in the entire story). ...And there will be some gratuitous sex scenes as well :)

Yes I know!
But there is reason for this frustrating reversal. I had to write this story so that it conformed exactly with the actual Canon of the show (I couldn't change any of the facts of the plot-line onscreen).

It was a real struggle for me to try to keep the tension going and to deliver believable emotional motivations for the two of them to be kept (mostly) apart until the series finally ends.

I would say that my intent was not to make John 'shy'... rather I tried to establish his inner self-loathing over his sense of inadequacy for failing those he cares for as well his penchant for self-sacrifice (Canon true attributes).
Believing that Rodney is meant to be happy with Jennifer and that he explicitly has asked John to help them find their way back together, John tells himself that he is sacrificing his own happiness for Rodney's (obviously though, there is a deeper current of his own fear/inadequacy holding him back as well... Also, he doesn't REALLY believe Rodney loves him, only that perhaps Rodney might give him a chance to win his love in time -given all the mistakes John's made in the past).

I know it was frustrating for me as a writer not to be able to bring them together sooner... but I thought these motivations best explained what would keep John from declaring his love to Rodney and claiming him the way he longs to.

I'm currently working on rewrite, so if you have any suggestions I'd be interested to hear them. (the only caveat is that I cannot write out the Rodney/Jennifer love story arc in season 5 because this story is writte

seriously I like this Story but John's shyness towards Rodney utterly annoys me. I mean he gets told by Ronon that Rodney loves him back and just because he lands in the future where Rodney loves Jennifer he loses his courage. Seriously?

Thank you Guest, Longchild, Sara... and especially 'Soph'... What a review! You really brought a huge grin to my face today when that message popped up on my phone.
I kind of felt the the same way when I was done writing it.
I guess that's why I go back every so often and work on my rewrite. (I'm about 2/3 done and it's so much better the this 1st rough draft).
I'm also working on an all original Sci-Fi trilogy, but coming back to John and Rodney is like coming home to a world I never want to leave and getting re-live it all over again. When I'm finished with my edits I promise I'll update here and making the format less choppy :)

What the fuck am I supposed to do with my life now that this is over?

So great!