Great chapter!

Looking forward to the next chapter! (For either this or Chaos, Order, Time — been enjoying both!)

Another fantastic update

Great. The DTI's gonna LOVE this.

Haha! Update patch! Like Microsoft!

Cool! You have Lt. Thompson! Nice shout out to TAS!

Oooh! I don't think that after this the Doctor will be able to go on not explaining things. For a long time this has been one of my favorite fanfics, and I've enjoyed every second of it. Can't wait for the next chapter!

This is going very well! Especially Spock's frustration that his computers couldn't tell him anything about the TARDIS was entertaining, LOL! I have followed multiple stories on here, and this is one of the best I've read in quite awhile!

I do hope the edit suggestions I add are helping you, and not becoming tiresome! I only mean to help writers hone their skills, to help them improve their craftsmanship. And, as I seem to be able to pick up on a typo or a poor turn of phrase like another would notice a random Lego under a bare foot, I try to use it to help the writer whose story I'm reading. Luckily, I haven't been told to go away, to jump off a cliff, or otherwise to *bleep* off... yet.

For edit suggestions, I restarted paragraph counts after a break, because it's so much easier to get the count correct that way. I would hate to give a paragraph number as, for example, 117, when it's actually 114 or 122. This way, I have fewer paragraphs to count, so there's less room for me getting it wrong.

And now for the potentially painful part... here they are:

Paragraph 13: '... [they were] (omit: they're) all exceptionally well trained...' (the contraction 'they're' is always meant as 'they are,' while the sentence - and the story - are written with past tenses.)

Paragraph 17: '[On] (omit: In) a completely ordinary...' (routes are treated like ships, planets, etc., and the word "on" is used in that situation, too)

Same Paragraph:
'...upwards [of] (omit: to) hundreds of light-years...'

Same Paragraph: '...mostly red dwarfs with (move: either too hot or frozen) diminute rocky planets [that were either too hot or frozen], mixed with a number of brown dwarfs[,] and a few ancient...'
For clarity: '...mostly red dwarfs with diminute rocky planets that were either too hot or frozen, mixed with...'

Paragraph 29: 'With more being built. [Any] -or- [A] (omit: The) regular Federation planet...'

P. 32: 'Nearly a month ago, a number...' this sentence is fine, but it would make a very good sentence to start a new paragraph with, so the paragraph it came from is not soooooo long.

As well, the following sentence from the same very, very long paragraph would make yet another good start to another paragraph: 'As a result, there has been a standoff...'

(very long paragraphs are difficult for most readers to wade through, as if our minds are not good at such a long wait for the rest, momentary as it is, that a paragraph break gives... not sure why our brains have problems with them, they just do)

P. 36: "...highly appreciated [on] (omit: in) Andor.(omit: ,) I've heard of it."

P. 57 a/b: "But the shields are up, Captain," Spock [pointed out] (omit: complained). (Vulcans don't really *complain* about things. Like, ever. Or at least, they don't admit it. )

P. 61 a/b: "So what, Spock?" (This is a phrase that almost always means "big deal," or "I don't care" or some other dismissive statement.) Better here would be an acknowledgement, and then a question, like, ["I see that. Anything else you can tell me."] -or- just a question, like [What else do the sensors tell you?] (the phrase "so what?" is just too dismissive) (okay, enough complaints about this one... )

P. 63 a/b: "Ms Yatto, stand (omit: by) ready, but..." -or- "Ms Yatto, stand by (omit: ready), but..." -or- "Ms Yatto, stand [at the] (omit: by) ready, but..." (any of the 3 would be acceptable, but the 2nd one is shortest, yet still contains all relevant information)

P. 66 a/b: (this is really clunky): ("There are words, in English, written!") This would work much more smoothly as: "There are English words written on it!"

P. 67 a/b: in England, [in] (omit: on) the twentieth century."

Again, I am really enjoying this story! I will try to keep watching to make sure I don't miss any new chapters, because I want to see what happens next! Thanks for a really fun romp through the Star Trek universe, with my favorite British TV character popping in every so often, tickling their curiosity, and confounding them at every turn, LOL!

Now I must wait and see what, if any, ties this mysterious flu virus has to the main story. It seems too prominent to not be important!

If it helps, the rant from McCoy felt quite natural, as, of course, he would be horrified about what was done with, and to, the children he was discussing. As well, the insult McCoy felt about someone, even Spock, expecting him to break doctor-patient confidence felt quite natural, too.

I have enjoyed the story, and look forward to not only the final chapter of this one, but whatever you wrote as the continuation of this one, as well!

Anyway, here are edits that should be done to this chapter:

Paragraph 1: 'He crossed [paths] with the Saurian...'

Paragraph 4: '...serving himself (omit: with) a generous dose.'

Paragraph 6: '...do the same, [taking on] (omit: centralizing) many of the science team[s'] duties (omit: in) himself.
To clarify: '...do the same, taking on many of the science teams' duties himself.'

Paragraph 11: "...tested show[s] immunity to the virus."

Paragraph 12: "...the Enterprise for at least nine months. (Omit: Except for these you've raised now.) (This last sentence makes no sense, as the only one that McCoy was talking about at the time was the one ensign.)

Paragraph 1 a/b (after break): 'That [kind of puzzle] was an area where McCoy...'
(It wasn't clear what the word 'that' was referring to, without more information.)

Same paragraph: 'When not working together[,] they seemed, [to] (omit: for) everyone else...'

Paragraph 2 a/b: "...bent forward to [get] (omit: catch) some peanuts, but..."

P. 14 a/b: '"We know that, Bones!" Kirk remarked wearily.' (This is problematic, as the exclamation mark would need a term stronger than 'remarked,' so if you want to keep 'remarked,' you need a period, instead. If you want to keep the exclamation mark, the verb needs to be 'snapped,' or a similar one.) As in: '"We know that, Bones!" Kirk snapped wearily.' -or- '"We know that, Bones." Kirk remarked wearily.'

P. 19 a/b: "...the best of each generation were brainwashed into contributing to the next, in the most effective [method.] (omit ,) [They weren't the] least hampered by ethical concerns, [either, in the most fanatical] selective breeding experiment[s] those fanatics ..." (this passage could use more work, but this at least makes it flow more smoothly.)

P. 36 a/b: "So[,] what? They had help from aliens?" (without the comma, it appears he is saying "so what?" as if he was instead saying "no one cares.")

P. 39 a/b:
"What[,] (omit: .) [you] (omit: You) want me to believe that..." (should be a pause, not a stop, a comma, not a period, after the word "what," as it's not really a question as written)
To clarify: "What, you want me to believe that..." (and then, the question mark at the end of the sentence will tie it all together as a question)

P. 41 a/b: "...before making [the] -or- [those] (omit: these) results public." (this change helps indicate they don't yet have the results in hand; they can't say "these" as they can't yet hold them up to indicate them.)

P. 46 a/b: "There [have] (omit: has) always been a few cases..." (past tense, not present tense, is needed with the past tense 'been')

P. 52 a/b: 'Without another word[,] he stood and stomped out of the room[,] without looking back.' (the commas need to be there, as they are natural pause points in the sentence)

P. 62 a/b:
"...other scientists we're not aware [of] that are also being targeted."

Same P: "...but they haven't [answered me] (omit: returned) on that yet."

P. 64 a/b: "...seen [on] (omit: in) a number of occasions, [on] (omit: in) Federation planets..."

Only a few sentences actually needed that much work done to them. The rest are things I've seen a lot in your writing, like being *in* a planet, rather than *on* the planet, as it should be, or missed commas.

And again, remember that these are not meant as insults, but as constructive criticism, from a natural proofreader. I only mean to help.

A very interesting chapter! And I like the alien descriptions you added in! They were clearly described, enough so that they were easy to picture in one's mind.

I did find things that need edited, though. Several of them were either missing commas, or an incorrect word, like "in" for "on," or a number word that doesn't match the number of items in the sentence. There were several sections that were error-free, so take that as a big plus!

I did count paragraphs from the breaks, though, rather than through the entire chapter. For example, the 4th paragraph after the 5th break, rather than some large number (78th, 94th, etc.,) of paragraphs from the beginning.

Anyway, here they are:

3rd Paragraph a/3/b (after 3rd break): '[It had] (omit: It'd) first tried, correctly, to identify...' (Another odd contraction that we need to avoid using.)

5th Paragraph a/5/b: 'Of course[,] as most humanoids[,] the Director couldn't...'

6th Paragraph a/5/b: "...want my opinion[,] Supervisor Horan has shown remarkable ability for that[;] (not ,) he's been an invaluable help..."

7th Paragraph a/5/b: "...has the seniority[,] and is qualified..."

34th Paragraph a/5/b: "...series of articles claiming that[,] since the establishment of the Federation[,] the various cycles..." (these commas are to mark when the speaker would naturally pause, even if they pause ever so slightly, to break up a long sentence being spoken.)

37th Paragraph a/5/b
"...from an alien civilization who really [doesn't] (omit: don't) understand..." (the term 'civilization' is considered one entity, even composed of many individuals, so any terms about it need to be singular, not plural)

39th Paragraph a/5/b: "There [have] (omit: has) been pacifist movements..."

(same paragraph): "...than a few small[,] organized groups."

40th Paragraph a/5/b: "...teams [on] (omit: in) most humanoid planets..."

(Same paragraph): "...circulated among us, [including] (omit: both) the data..." (you list more than 2 things the reports include, and "both" is a word that goes with 2 items)

That's only 10 places that need fixed, so that's not too bad, really. And the story, itself, is going very well. You have crafted a good one - be proud of that.

There was only one blatant error in this chapter! Well done! Here it is...

Paragraph 32 a/b (after break)
"...only high official [who has] (omit: who've) ever met you more than once."

It's another of your odd contractions, but it doesn't contain enough information, or contains the wrong information, and contractions should still contain all necessary information. See, "who've" means "who have," and and you need "who has," as the noun involved (official) is singular.

Anyway, off to the next chapter!

There were several goofs and/or typos in this chapter. The list is going to be long. Sorry, again, not trying to be rude.

Paragraph 1: '...leaving the gaggle of Professors behind [on] (omit: in) the front porch...' (a porch is generally mentioned in writing as something one is on, not in, because it's generally not a completely enclosed room)

Same paragraph: '...too fixated [on] (omit: in) him to be distracted, and (omit: he) was now pestering him...' (1st was likely just a typo, but the 2nd one removes one of the pronouns, to help with clarity. Multiple similar or identical pronouns that close together can cause unnecessary confusion.)

Paragraph 8: "...discussed with Spock earlier [about] (omit: on) how they could convince the Doctor [to come] (omit: into coming) to the Enterprise with them. Spock was of the opinion that if Smith didn't want to come with them (omit: out) of his own free will...'

Paragraph 10: '...beat around the bush[; or .] (no ,)[if . then You] you want me to come to [the] Enterprise for questioning,

Paragraph 15: "...and I'm sorry[,] but no one else..."

Paragraph 18: "...cruise speed[,] and an autonomy..."

Paragraph 19: "...you may find it [in] -or- (omit: on) Bay 47 at the spaceport. Here's the key," he said, searching through his [trouser] (omit: trousers') pockets...'

Paragraph 32: '...glancing shots in their fight, [spoke up](omit: asked), "Doctor McCoy..."

Paragraph 33:"...please check Doctor Smith [out] (omit: up) with your tricorder."

Paragraph 36: "Besides, [I] (omit I've) examined the injury earlier[,]..."

Paragraph 37:
'...he argued, (omit: looking betrayed at) [giving] McCoy [a look of betrayal].' -or- '...he argued [with McCoy], looking [or feeling] betrayed (omit: at McCoy). (The phrase "looking betrayed at..." just doesn't work. It's not normal in the construction of sentences.)

For clarity, the choices are:

'...he argued, giving McCoy a look of betrayal.'
'...he argued with McCoy, looking betrayed.'
'...he argued with McCoy, feeling betrayed.' (I think this is the best choice, being the shortest, most succinct choice.

Paragraph 39: 'Isn't he? Kirk [wondered, as he] looked at Spock...' -or- 'Isn't he? Kirk looked at Spock, [the silent question hanging between them,]...' (Two ideas, the first one is the shortest, but not as clear in describing the event happening.)

Paragraph 59:
"...have him stay [on] (omit: in) the Enterprise so we can debrief him regarding the events [on] (omit: in) Galinedoria. (ships and planets are spoken of as people are ON them rather than IN them, even ones as big as the Enterprise. )

4th paragraph after 2nd break:
"...John Smith ever used the [ship] -or- [craft] (omit: boat). (Any spacecraft is called a ship or a craft; boat has a meaning of watercraft, not spacecraft)

Paragraph 5 a/2/b (after 2nd break): "...what did you find [in] (omit: on) the Doctor's quarters?"

Paragraph 6 a/2/b: "... found [on] (omit: in) the ground close to where the Doctor had (omit: Doctor'd) beamed down to the surface [of] -or- [on] (omit: in) Galinedoria.
(on the last edit, the word "of" would be the best choice, with the present sentence construction)

Paragraph 12 a/2/b:
"...peace and quiet [on] (omit: in) the bridge for the next [few] -or- (choose a number, like 8, maybe) hours..."

Paragraph 15 a/2/b:
"Then Warp 6, engage!" No, that would be Captain Picard's words of choice. Kirk would say something more like: "Then takes us out of here, Warp 6."

I'm not sure why you so often talk of being IN a ship or a planet, rather than ON that ship or planet. But it's wrong for the ship, as the term "on" for a ship comes from the term "onboard." And it's wrong for the planet as you can't be in a planet, but on the planet's surface (except in the rare situation where the life is in tunnels or underground - even then, I would use "on" in those situations, too.) There is also the possibility of using "at" _planet_, rather than "on" _planet_.

Anyway, there's my critiques for this chapter. I am looking forward to the rest of the story, too - another sign you have a great story here!

I did find many things I believe need edited, although the story is going very nicely, as a whole. Here are the needed edits.

Paragraph 8: '...once the Doctor's warning was heard [and] (no comma) understood.'

Paragraph 11: '...and get close enough to the devices to set them [off] (omit: on). -or- '...and get close enough to the devices to [detonate] (omit: set) them (omit: on). (When a bomb is activated, it's said to "go off" when it blows up - don't ask me why; it just is.)

Paragraph 13: 'It was [as good] a (omit: good) term as any.'

Paragraph 47: "No I didn't, it was Zyb's idea."
This sentence would better sound like the Doctor (in many, if not most, of their regenerations, I think) and would fit better, grammatically, as this:

"Ah, no, no, no. I didn't do that; it was Zyb's idea." (You could omit 1 or 2 of the no's if you wish)

1st paragraph after the break (I will count other paragraphs from here, as well):
'...Maliky had taken an interest [in] (not on) his career...' (surely just a typo)

(same paragraph)
'...he was expected to be on [the] Enterprise...'
(this one is the way ships are generally spoken about, as "...the _(ship name)_..." rather than just "...(ship name)..."

2nd a/b (after break):
'Nowhere the record mentioned what...' should be 'Nowhere did the record mention what...' -or- 'Nowhere in the record was there any mention of what...' (and, though the latter one is longer, generally, if you can say the same thing multiple ways, the shortest way is best, as long as it covers what needs to be said.) As well, this sentence would be an excellent place to break the very long paragraph into two separate paragraphs; it would be the first sentence in the next paragraph.

Same extra-long paragraph:
'...but it seemed to boil down [to the fact] -or- [to one thing,] that it was up to Spock...'

Paragraph 6 a/b:
'...[?and?] stood [in] (not on) his path. (The latter was likely another typo)
Note: As for the former, what I have marked as "?and?", IF you meant that Spock physically stopped him from leaving by blocking his path, the word 'and' is fine. BUT, if you meant the GUARD stepped in and stopped the Doctor from exiting the room, it should read '...[who moved in and...] stood in his path.'

Don't take these as nitpicking or being rude, as I always do these things to help writers to improve their work. I am, as I have said before, a born proofreader. Mistakes seem to jump out at me, and I really love that here, I can easily let the writer know what should be changed. All changes mentioned should be used by the writer to improve their craft.

Thank you so much for this! I love this story! 3 I will be very happy to read more of this, although even if it never gets completed, I’m very happy to have read it. Thanks again! XD

Very nice job on these last few chapters. All I noticed that likely should be edited is this one line in this chapter. I noticed nothing that might need changing in the previous chapter(s) that I didn't put a review on. (Not sure how many that might be, as I got derailed and just came back this evening.) Anyway, here you go:

Paragraph 63:
"...they would be able to arm the devices remotely, and the research compound would be [doomed] -or-[destroyed] (omit: condemned).

I think one of those two words would be more immediate, more dramatic, than just 'condemned.' A person on death row is condemned, but could be there for decades before either being put to death or having their sentence changed or overturned. That's my reasoning for preferring one of the other words.