The first thing I want to say is that the writing was great. The point of view didn't get too confusing and I knew who you were talking about the entire time. So great job on this, you really put a lot of emotion in it. That leads me to my second point. If this is how you really feel, please get help or talk to someone, it is not good to keep it in. I haven't experienced this to the point that you have, but I want you to know that if you ever need someone to listen to you, you can PM me any time. I may not know who you are but I can tell you are a good person and I never want you to feel alone.
Peace,
Peeps