I think the wildest thing about this story is despite it being a satirical call out of the bullshit in the original game, it’s one of the most engaging, thought provoking, and best designed narratives I’ve seen about this game. Like I end up caring more about the characters and events than I do with any “serious” fic.

I dunno, I never thought Warren was that bad, really. Just oblivious; god knows that's not a trait unique to him among 16-18 year old boys.

I dunno, I've always liked the idea of Chloe as having more bark than bite. Giving her actual fighting prowess seems like it detracts from that image. For me, that's why she stole the gun and was so eager to show it off to Max, as well.

But hey, I'm not gonna chastise someone for writing their own interpretation of a character in a fanfic, let alone in one for a game literally about how choices change things. Max knows I've read wildly more divergent characterizations of other characters with glee.

Honestly, I don't know why everyone from the writers to the characters to the players makes such a big deal of Chloe using the word 'hella'. It's pretty common slang.

Max's use of 'wowser' is honestly much more noteworthy. Like 'whoopsie-daisy' in "Notting Hill."

Here's a review. I-it's not like I did it for you in particular or anything, baka. I just hate seeing artistic opportunity go to waste.

Capa... footsteps... I've got to admit, I like your Jefferson's sense of humor

“Possibilities that came into Juliet’s mind: Max was a being with power trascending reality, space and time who treated them all as puppets; gave them the illusion of control while strings of fate tethered them all to her hand. Stings she occasionally tugged on to further her own inscrutable purposes.”

Max: “Damn it, is EVERYONE on to me now?"

Joyce: "I'll look them over and make sure she hasn't suddenly become a remorseless murderer while no one was looking."
Future Max: "Whoops."

Dec. 2018
I guess there will be no more chapters *sad*

But it was great so far.
Really liked the Slow past telling , it is fiction but you took Episode for Episode and told all the Things rhat might have happened .
Its more real then all this rushed Storys with a Lot of Sex and more supernatural things.

Victoria as a second Side Kick is cool, she ist a bitch but yeah Chloe was one as well in the begunning.
Seeing maxines Power would Change anyone No Matter how fucked up He/she is.

One thing dir Future stories ;
Some PoV storytelling is Always nice;
Like nathens or jeffersons Side at the Same time as the Heroes so some slowpasted Shit.
Like u did with Sean on the Cliff.

Gosh, this story is great! Of all the LiS fanfictions I've read so far, this is the first that manages to both perfectly capture the spirit of the game and include the vast cast of characters. Your dialogues are fantastic - witty and lifelike and so true to the characters - and the plot is fascinating.
I hope you'll come back to this story; I'd love to see more of it!

When I first started reading this I was pretty sure I wasn't going to like it since I didn't really think you could pull off a believable representation of Victoria. Glad I was wrong. I really think you're doing a great job writing her and the others perspectives.

The premise that Max got so cynical and obsessed after The Storm that she kept experimenting to try to find a way to save Chloe is interesting. It seems her fingerprints are all over the time line by this point and I'm curious to see what other irons she's got in the fire.

While I can't say I'm terribly thrilled with your interpretations of some of the other characters, I'm really eager to see where this goes. Keep up the great work and I hope you're able to update this soon and the story doesn't go the way of a certain aspiring model (on an coincidentally similar timescale at this point).

wonderful chapter! When is the next, dear author? don't leave us hanging, mate :D

Ok straight off I completely adored Mark's pov, it's so amazing and makes things feel much more intimate and creepy! I love this fic so much.

I look forward to more and hope you continue this soon :)

In little over 200 000 words author managed do describe 1.5 days of events. He focuses way too much on character's thoughts, barely leaving any action. Author abandoned his idea of future max and letters from tomorrow somewhere around the half of the story. The concept was pretty good, the beginning events were pretty crazy and felt like multiple universes colliding, but only a beginning. After a while, a manipulative future Max was forgotten.

For some reason author tied himself to events of the game, at some points completely re-telling the events, especially at the junkyard scene.

Fic really feels like containing way too much unneeded fluff, chapters being massive at the beginning while describing maybe 30 minutes of the events. I was struggling to finish it really, feels like you read 10 pages and nothing really happened. The words author using leaving a feeling that he just wants to show off his vocab, making a non-native speaker as myself reading experience harsh and miserable. But thanks for making me write down over a 1000 new words, most of them being adjectives. Maybe one day I will memorize them.

Based on how author could describe some gay panic event in the head of some character on 5 pages, I imagine if he would finish his story, it would be bigger than GoT LotR combined.

Oooh, things are starting to get going in this relationship