This is amazing

This story has a really great plot, there have been many stories I've read about this and it's all basically the same thing a lot and gets boring fast, I'm glad you decided to make it a little different and add the pneumonia at the end. There are errors like commas and spelling, which I mess up on all the time haha and I think it would be better if you added more dialogue to the chapter. Besides that, it's really good. :)