I really liked this story. I hope you crank it up soon. It had some grammar and syntax issues along the way,but they got straightened out as time went on.

Talia’s story is one of my favorites in the entire canon, so it’s great to see you take it on.

Please come back soon!

I absolutely adore your Disclaimer! And I really like the story - hope you haven't given up the ghost. We need to know how Giselle turns out!

This a great story. Can't wait for more. Thanks Amelia. I hope your health improves and you're back on your feet soon.

Ameliorate I hope you get your self and any problems sorted soon. Love and light

Better control over the POV but like most American authors you are using thEn instead of thAn. i.e. the next to last paragraph: "pretend they are more expert THAN they are" The story is improving though.

Talk about confusing POV! I hope the rest of the story is NOT like this.

if I'm not mistaken Breada and Lotte are both from the owl's trilogy. your story is really interesting. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

make sure to do not end up writting a sue story look up fan-fiction Gary-Sue & Mary-Sue

All told ok story start

and remember the more you write the better your writting will become

I really enjoyed your story but you badly need a proofreader. It improves greatly in the later chapters but the first few had jarring grammar/spelling errors every other sentence. It also sometimes shifted person without warning. I'm just an avid bookworm but these things jumped out at me. One example is the intro was something like, "It went this". My sense is that you should either change this to thus or if you want it more contemporary, "It went like this" or "It happened like this". As for how to get published if Google is no help you could ask your local librarians for help finding info/books.

Just a few pronouns mising and small spelling errors. Basically though an interesting story

It's nice to read about Talia and her friend Nd the early days of training. From what I understand in the books, the field was where first companions started and all palace and buildings were built next to it and the town followed.

Well...hmmm Holderkin are reclusive, not inclusive. Inclusive means that they bring people in, you mean that they try to keep people out, and that they don't like outsiders, which would be reclusive, isolationists, or dogmatic. You need to work more on showing your story, rather than just telling. You could add a lot more detail that would make it more interesting. It's not very believable that a lowly farm girl would learn courtly graces, so much so that she would pass out of the course, and yet have a strong enough accent that she would still need a language course. She would have had to spend a lot of time working in order to survive back home, and wouldn't have time to study. If Jana's parents are mean drunks, she wouldn't go home. Once someone escapes that lifestyle they would not willingly put themselves in a potentially dangerous situation by going back to it, at least not willingly. Not just because of abuse, but because her companion would also strongly advise against it. It's more realistic that those girls would visit other friends' homes, or maybe relatives in the same town that they are from, but not go back to abusive parents. Also, they could easily stay in Haven, since students aren't forced to leave school.

Your dialogue is good, keep working on it. The more you practice and and edit your stories, the better writer you'll become.

Another good instructions chapter

Keep Going! :D

I like your story, it seames to be the only one left active in Valdemar section, please keep it up.