Please update soon! I've really been looking forward to your next chapter. I hope there's more Miranda and Roland parts because you are super good at writing them especially when they work together and support each other when the other needs consoling.

Enjoyed the description of Roland and Miranda searching for Sofia, including getting help from villagers. The tension is conveyed well, right up to Birk's mention of her possibly going back to the castle to try to help.

Fixes:
here. Relax, you
(tugging on) her father's
toddler (was) sitting [no , & girl]

Good chapter.

Good description of the battle, then a unique way of going into Vasilia's past for backstory. It's interesting how Kashchey is an even bigger menace, though her killing her sisters was quite bad. Amber had to relive some crazy memories, including the last one!

Enjoyed James being shocked at Amber & Sofia's decision to go back. And a bit of humor w/Sofia's head only being visible at first. :)

Solid dialogue of Kashchey wishing for peace with her. Great description of the characters and of Vasilia's thoughts and wanting revenge on him. The magical power is written very well; seems the amulet is being used quite impressively.

Typo:
(said) a silvery,

Strong chapter ending!

Great descriptions of Roland, Miranda, Birk, and the others in the castle. Surprising invention from Gwen, but very cool. Enjoyed the reunion w/Sofia, and Cedric getting an elbow to mention where Anya and the others were heading.

Nice job with the sheaths changing into shields; very creative. And Cedric's magic shield protecting them was told well. Not wanting Miranda to know Amber and James were there was good comedic tension. Big question is what that liquid might do to Amber- hope she mentions it to Cedric.

Fixes:
teeth; that was too
(device) and the stone door
discus (device)
pleasantries later. We

Fun scene with Sofia getting a stealth cloak, and what a cliffhanger.

I think you're very creative to give personalities to various soldiers like this: Daniel, Forrest, Taylor and the others come to life in this. Very good descriptions of the action and solid dialogue that starts off very civil. I like that Gwen's invention plays a big part in communication. The giant magical head was clever and dramatic. The shield, and breaking through were done well. The use of the dart, vials of magic and other magical things that Cedric helped with were written well.

Small fix:
out his (crossbow).
And maybe 'mudblood' is only for Harry Potter. Perhaps 'commoners' instead?

Anyway, fantastic chapter; very memorable with the crossbow shot followed by her intense snake magic attack!

Good description of the teleportation and stealth cloaks. Clever writing in having them remove their shoes. I liked the scene of them watching Vasilia's actions, and Amber speaking to Anya. Interesting end to that exchange. And solid anticipation in the final scene w/Vasilia. Great chapter.

Typos:
the long (corridor)
(From) what they
have what I need (no 'the')
The (troops) descended

Enjoyed the talk with the soldier on the state of affairs, then help from Birk. Nice detail on horse manes & proper care. Good dialogue w/James and Amber, as well as Roland and Cedric. Finally, Amber's reasoning w/Cedric was done quite well. Great job!

Typo:
signal for (descent)

Intense writing of the torture. Interesting that Vasilia ignores Sofia at first about giving the amulet. You really nailed the conflict here, and build up the exchange perfectly. Clever that Sofia loses memory of the visions. and that Anya lost memory of Sofia.

Typo:
undid the clasp, then [no extra ;]

Well done!

Great opening w/Sofia trying to escape until confronted by Vasilia and Vlad. Vasilia's explanations were told so well. I like that Vlad's not as evil as we originally thought. Excellent description of the Star Realm and Amber's panic. Good scene w/her mother, including comparing Miranda to her. And waking w/the boots and cloak on was a clever twist. Enjoyed the chapter!

Typos:
(stared) at the bottom of
sent us (hurtling) into
Her arms went (limp)

Birk knows his daughter very well.

Enjoyed the descriptions of Sofia finding her family. Impressive use of the language at first. Ana's distrust make for an interesting conflict, as does Anya's poor physical condition. Even Ian is a literal handful in needing to be carried.

Solid discussion on how Sofia found them, and nice dialogue of Anya's appreciation for her courage. Sofia's guilt over enjoying time w/Birk while they suffered was some good depth to the story. Resting before going outside, then concern of how to get for a village before being confronted by Vasilia- all done so well.

Fixes:
She did not (whine)
family, after all, even
their way (west) around the
her left side in toward (remove 'turned')
her," said Sofia firmly.

Good details on Amber's return and studying the book, including dealing w/another language. Wow, what a scene with Miranda confronting them, then Roland's rare anger and discussion. I like that he concedes that their reasoning is sound. Amber did twist his words a bit though. Maybe he should've said to stay in the castle. :)

Great writing of James apologizing to Amber beforehand, and their clarifying terms. Such as a girl being able to be girlie while also being strong and reliable.

Fixes:
we did," she responded
Your safety (and?) your mother's (are?) my

Lt. Daniel made for an interesting character as well, having respect for them and their parents, yet being honest about advice as well. Impressive details on the mysterious box and its contents, and the ending to keep the reader guessing.

This is good! Can't wait for more.

Solid start w/the rest stop and Roland trying to comfort Miranda before spotting something. Nice transition to the surprise of James and Amber nearby following them! I liked the details of Amber and Echo keeping him awake. And their appreciating the horses' hard work.

Fixes:
the (sign) for (descent),
just as (Roland)
(Roland) gripped
shook his head quickly(,) dismissing
the camp," said Amber

Good dialogue on Amber going off to clean up and James occupying himself. And great twist at the end with Miranda's appearance!