Awesome story! TWT

*Elsword pov
*mystery girl pov
*Elsword pov
*Aisha pov...

Ughhhhh...my... head...hurt!

just use 3rd pov...al..rea...dy...(die because headache)

i intend on working a bit harder on the 2nd chapter to fix all my flaws and to tell the truth i wrote when i was extremely tired so if the writing does seem lazy thats the reason SO pls stay in toon for how i fix this writing in the 2nd chapter

You should try to read over your writings a few more times for errors and spell checking. During my skim through this Fanfiction, I found many errors throughout. Some of them include text talk writing (Which looks lazy.), Incorrect spelling (Gurdian in the title is supposed to be spelled as Guardian.), and missing punctuation which leads to run-ons everywhere. Further more, this is just a conversation that resembles a script. It has no descriptive writing that is supposed to flesh out the background scenery and how the characters spoke. (All of which, cannot be portrayed through a conversation.)
This is my piece of mind. I do hope you can improve from this.