Can't resist saying all your attacks outloud, can you Danny? (Also, every time I read the word "Dan" I think the evil future Danny.)

Hey, I think that this story is pretty good. It is pretty easy to understand. Just one thing seems odd about Danny. First of all, Danny hates the name Dan. Absolutely hates it. It stands for everything he hates about himself. So why would he choose it as his nickname? I would like it if you could put in an explanation for this even if it is “Danny has assumed this name because by facing the name he is facing his fears” or something like that. Otherwise this is great!

Uh I hate to be picky but chapter 2 is just a repeat of chapter 1

this story so far is pathetic trash i hate it when people make danny seem weak he could easily take saizo in his human form don't just take danny and give him tskunes personality

I have to say this has potential and is on a good role so far, only thing wrong I see here are a few spelling errors. I'm looking forward to see where this goes and how Danny will effect the monster school and how it and the people in it will effect him and hope we will get some original chapters. As well hope that we will see some ghost here like Frostbite. Also it would be nice to see who's in Dan's harem here. I vote for Elsa to be part of it.

As for character suggestions how about Centorea Shianus, Miia and Meroune Lorelei from Daily Life with a Monster Girl. Esmerelda from Hunchback of Notre Dame being a witch or werewolf. Kuroka and Rias Gremory from Highschool DxD with the latter being a witch or vampire. Saeko from Highschool of the Dead being a Yōkai or a Nekomata or a Gumiho. Holo from Spice and Wolf being a werewolf. From Fairy Tail Gajeel being a dragon, a Cerberus, gargoyal or a Chimera, Elfman being a Minotaur, Chimera, gargoyal or Griffen, Grey a yeti and Natsu being a dragon or a wyvern. From the Avatar series Sokka as a wendigo and Bolin as a gargoyal or Minotaur.

If any of the female characters are a permanent character latter on them I vote for being part of the harem.

Again this has potential and hope to see more soon.

1 why does no one ever point out to moka that they didn't know?
2 I don't remember Danny having a ghost stinger, but why not just use his ice powers to freeze the water?

For the most part the story is good, but at times it seems like the dialogue is rushed or missing sections.

1 did you forget you'd written Tsukune in?
2 why wouldn't Danny transform to protect her?

1 wouldn't he have an issue with being called Dan given meeting his evil possible future self?
2 will Tsukune have any role?
3 will Danny be famous?

It keeps bothering me, but Dan is the evil version of Danny. You know, the one who wants to kill all his friends and family so Danny becomes evil too.

Moka literally calls Danny 'Tsukune' at one point...I'm not sure how to feel about that...

I never liked this in manga/anime because tsukune didn't know vampire weakness is water why didn't outter moka just tell him that water hurts her and deadly to her this whole thing could have been avoided if moka had moka told tsukune in cannon and danny in this fanfic that water can kill her and whole fact that they didn't know makes them jerks no I'm sorry but that's not ok they didn't know any better moka wears cross and in sunlight I believe boys didn't know what to believe on vampire legends cut them a break.

No African mythical creatures? Racist.

How about the Impudulu (Thunder Bird). In African Folklore, The Impudulu was a bird that could summon or turn into lightning and was often the familiar of witches. It also takes the form of an attractive male in order to try to seduce women.

Perhaps Yukari could summon one to try to convince everyone that she was able to get a boy friend, only for it to go out of control because she messed up in the binding ritual. This could also lead to Yukari having him as an actual familiar later which would give her a much needed power boost and a running gag as she tries to keep the bird under control.

My point is, don't leave out African legends.

(Shake's head) This is one of episodes/story in manga in rosario vampire is fact that tsukune and danny are acused of being jerks and cause inner moka to be mad at them one they both didn't know a lot about monster world so they don't know fact from fiction outter moka wears cross and is out during sun is out two things that are suppose to kill or hurt a vampire don't in this world they didn't know water could hurt and possibly kill vampire. What didn't help this situation in series/manga and fanfiction is tsukune and danny aren't allowed to research ask about or find out more more what monsters strengths and weakness is if they had had know water could hurt moka they of they wouldn't gone to swimming club they also didn't know their were mermaids in club. Lastly this could have been completely avoided if outter moka had simply told tsukune and danny that water could hurt her and possibly kill her perhaps her insecuritiesand self doubt got best of her or did she think tsukune and danny would understand her problem and again this a fine example of poor communication kills again outter had chance to tell tsukune and danny about water did to her but didn't keep up good.

Even in the show/manga I never liked this part it seems stupid to blame the guy for not knowing vampire weaknesses to water! It does seem like a semi normal club at first.